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  1. #1
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Default How to deal with an introvert..

    .. who is trieing to get to know you as an Extrovert ?

    Like in 95% of the things you told him you just made up cause he doesnt talk and you cant reflect on what he wants to hear and the last 5% you are serious and he makes fun out of it, cause to him you been a jerk 100%
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  2. #2
    Senior Member sticker's Avatar
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    Depends on what kind of Introvert you are dealing with?

    Personally I just like to be left alone unless it's regarding a topic I'm interested in and then I might start getting talkative. I'll rather have silent moments than breaking them with small talk and if I want to get to know a person, I usually look for a common interest to talk about, like games etc. I usually do not have problems dealing with Extroverts (unless they are ones who I'm not familiar with) as I'm pretty straightforward in showing when I do not want to be disturbed and when I don't mind.
    This does not necessarily apply to all introverts, just me talking about how I deal with people. Try a general approach of looking for similar interests or topics you think you can both agree upon? Maybe hanging out around that person for a while even if you don't talk can give you a rough idea of what he/she likes and get him/her to at least feel relaxed around you and hopefully open up. Of course, don't do that against his/her will. Most importantly, respect his/her personal space and privacy. And be patient.
    Everyone is unique. ...Just like everyone else.
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  3. #3
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I thought about punching them in the face next time to wake them up and then say I got some serious illness in which I cant control my muscles.

    ------------------

    the Dad of my girl who is a traitorus infp asked me out about topics I never thought about. There are two ways to think about that know:

    1st) ouh man that idiot even never thought about that

    2nd) why the fuck does that idiot even care about that ?

    I'ld have wished for him to communicate more with me. That means for him to interrupt me when I was talking and ask questions. He never did that and I just kept on talking waiting for an interruption what never happened and so on... you see the dilema ?

    I just think there could be good ways for both parties to have a clean and shiny convo. But my opinion is, Is are the ones to be more inflexible on that one, while of course Es have it easier cause they are more dumb.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #4
    Senior Member Bri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    I'ld have wished for him to communicate more with me. That means for him to interrupt me when I was talking and ask questions. He never did that and I just kept on talking waiting for an interruption what never happened and so on... you see the dilema ?
    Sometimes... sometimes you have to be silent for a while so the introvert can figure out what to say! If you move through topics too quickly they may not be able to think of the right way to phrase something. I think most introverts 'plan' what they are going to say before they speak, so you have to give them time.

  5. #5
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bri View Post
    Sometimes... sometimes you have to be silent for a while so the introvert can figure out what to say! If you move through topics too quickly they may not be able to think of the right way to phrase something. I think most introverts 'plan' what they are going to say before they speak, so you have to give them time.
    That's good advice and would explain the discrepancy you can feel as an extroverted, namely that you feel you get lectured all the time, cause they thought about what to say first and made up some kind of masterplan, while you just shoot in the dark and see what you hit.

    That is good advice, indeed and I can respect that, but it doesnt help me so far as a shooter, who does make up his mind by discussion; who thinks that he gives the other one a chance to defend by leaving him room to influence ones own thoughts about him in discussion with him.

    Do you get what I mean ? I dont want to portray extroverts as the super-diplomatic type who figures out a person only by discussion and who does not in advance make up his own mind a slight bit, but for extroverts the idea on a topic can be changed by discussion and if you even respect the answering time for introverts (may it even be several days) and their opinion may be resolute or still open for discussion in the end.... *long breath* it doesnt really help the extrovert, who just wants someone to talk to
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  6. #6
    Senor Membrane
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    How about getting third person in the discussion? Some people just don't connect, and I've used to get around that by talking in a small group. It doesn't fix the one-on-one problem but at least it's much more comfortable for the both of you.

  7. #7
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    I had hoped to provoke a more diplomatic idea in which one could find a successful conversation with an introvert, if they both would move a step in the direction of the other.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  8. #8
    Listening Oaky's Avatar
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    No offense to any extraverts who would do this but when I'm called on my mobile and the person I'm talking to talks about something boring or talks too much I put my mobile on my desk or table continuing what I was doing before he/she called me until I can hear him/her faintly calling out my name and I act as if I listened.

    My advice:
    - Find out what they are fascinated by and let them tell you about it. You can discuss from there.
    - If they are busy in any way I suggest you let them finish what they are doing.

    Introverts tend to think before they talk unless you are a close friend so there will be a silence before many things the introvert says.

  9. #9
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Extravert: Do you want to talk to me?
    Introvert: Not really.
    Extravert: What does that mean? "Not really"? Hmpf?
    Introvert: That I prefer not too.
    Extravert: I'm not worthy enough? IS THAT IT?
    Introvert: Whatever you say...
    Extravert: Whatever I say what?
    Introvert: *stares*
    Extravert: *spontaniously combusts and turns to ashes*
    Introvert: How interesting. I need to talk to someone about this...


    On topic. Generally when an introvert wants to talk with you, he/she will. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #10
    Senior Member GirlFromMars's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    Generally when an introvert wants to talk with you, he/she will. :P
    Pretty much. I really, really, reallllyyy dislike it when people try to MAKE me talk. When they get all pushy and shit. I can talk as much as an extravert when I want to, and I'm interested in the subjet. Small talk is the ...
    INFP~ 4w5 ~ sx/sp ~ IEI ~ Libra

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