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  1. #1
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Default Secure when veiled; veiled insecurity.

    So here's one of my funny quirks. I feel more comfortable in public the more covered I am. I tend to wear coats and gloves, etc... sooner in the year to later in the year than most people do, because I value the abstract comfort in spite of the discomfort of the heat.

    I assume this is a manifestation of social anxiety. as I find no discomforting physical sensation from dressing lightly, I just get tense. The more my shape and my skin is apparent, the more nervous I suppose I am. This is to some extents true for almost everyone, hence the discomfort for a lot of women in going out in a tiny bathing suit. But for me, I do think it goes to odd lengths, obfuscating completely socially innocent parts of my body in 68 degree weather. Another example of this is I almost never wear shorts of short sleaved shirts, as they too, make me nervous somehow.

    I think I'd wear a mask if that didn't make people so suspicious.

    So this is pretty weird, or at least I think it is. Does anyone else have similar feelings? And what do you think of my habit? Unhealthy? Neurotic? How would you rationalize it?

    I guess there are broad cultural questions inside my habit to. What does it mean to be seen by someone? Why care?
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  2. #2
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Oh I can relate. I'm actually glad that it's winter right now so I can wear my jacket, gloves and shawl pretty much all of the time. This is also why the summer bothers me a bit ... Going short-sleeved makes me uncomfortable because it increases the chance of skin contact with other people (I usually avoid even casual things such as handshakes etc.).

    So, even though I do it, I find it weird myself. And I would go with your explanation that it's probably due to insecurity, but then there's the question where this insecurity comes from.

    I can't really give any advice on how to get rid of it though
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  3. #3
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    I'll admit I am the same way. One of the reasons I like colder seasons also.

    Part of it stems from the feeling of security of being more anonymous (or more covered up), part of it stems from insecurity (which likely stems to image and how someone relates to others...which may or may not stem from bad experiences in public school ).

    stems.

  4. #4
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    You're right. I'm ready to be "unveild". I'm ready for prime time. Let's take this show on the road. My ego needs room to stretch.
    .

  5. #5
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    How do you perceive your body? In a social context?

  6. #6
    Head Pigeon Mad Hatter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    How do you perceive your body? In a social context?
    Could you be more specific?
    IN SERIO FATVITAS.

    -τὸ γὰρ γράμμα ἀποκτέννει, τὸ δὲ πνεῦμα ζῳοποιεῖ-

  7. #7
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avis View Post
    Could you be more specific?
    Nope, because then I'm setting parameters on the answers.

    I'm just interested in the response given however way you (he) perceives the question.

  8. #8
    ^He pronks, too! Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    How do you perceive your body? In a social context?
    Actually I'm confused by the placing of the question marks. Are those two different questions?

    Well I'll answer it as if it were all one question (maybe it is).

    It's pretty undeniable that I have poor body image. I'm too skinny, too pale, and in my opinion, for a guy, too short. This is all to say nothing of my face, which is where my biggest complains come from. So that would seem to have something to do with it.

    On the other hand, in contrast to this, I get hit on... by men. Straight men. I think it's odd that I should be confused for a woman, and even odder that I should be confused for a woman attractive enough to hit on, but it happens more often than you might think. I'm pretty sure the only reason it declined recently is because I stopped shaving. I makes me incredibly uncomfortable when guys, shall we say, express their interest in some way.

    Maybe I also just don't want to be identifiable.
    Go to sleep, iguana.


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  9. #9
    Reptilian Snuggletron's Avatar
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    do you look like Bill from Tokyo Hotel?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magic Poriferan View Post
    Actually I'm confused by the placing of the question marks. Are those two different questions?

    Well I'll answer it as if it were all one question (maybe it is).

    It's pretty undeniable that I have poor body image. I'm too skinny, too pale, and in my opinion, for a guy, too short. This is all to say nothing of my face, which is where my biggest complains come from. So that would seem to have something to do with it.

    On the other hand, in contrast to this, I get hit on... by men. Straight men. I think it's odd that I should be confused for a woman, and even odder that I should be confused for a woman attractive enough to hit on, but it happens more often than you might think. I'm pretty sure the only reason it declined recently is because I stopped shaving. I makes me incredibly uncomfortable when guys, shall we say, express their interest in some way.

    Maybe I also just don't want to be identifiable.
    Do you get frustrated trying to figure out how to project your physical self in the face of labelling such as masculinity/femininity [this was what I was hinting at, regarding the 'social context']? Are you apprehensive about that (or even that you need to worry about that, in the first place)?

    Finally, if you could mold a world where people saw exactly what you wanted them to see, how would you like others to perceive you*?

    *not what you can change about yourself, but what perceptions you'd change in others.

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