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Thread: Confidence

  1. #1
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Default Confidence

    How do you get it? Mine is often dependant on the opinions of others. I'm not extremely unconfident without those opinions, but I wish to be able to build some on my own. I'm not really interested in people saying, "who cares what others think?". Since duh, that's the most obvious remark. I'm more interested in some practical things that may have helped you guys in the past.
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    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    My confidence is a slave to my abilities and competency. But I'm a very confident person. I remember one day I got tired of not being that way; and decided that it was useless to have low self confidence and to be depressed. So I started to act artificially confident and didn't let my depression affect me, and it sort of set in.

    But basically it's useless to not be the best person you can possibly be. So I just kinda do it like that.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  3. #3
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    My confidence comes and goes. Of course, other people's opinions, or misconceptions about me shake my confidence but I think it still goes through my internal filter whether the information I get is reliable for me, to my understanding of myself. If I happen to agree with the outside influence and it's something negative, then I start to have doubts in myself.

    Another thing that shakes my confidence is when I neglect to listen to myself, to my heart, when I start to analyze and overthink and try to do things as I think I should do them and not as I feel I should do them. It's probably subconscious but I don't try as hard because deep down I know that it doesn't mean that much to me, so I start to slack off and the results are not to my liking and I start to regret it, doubt myself and my ability to stay true to myself.

    Remaining true to myself is very important to me because, ultimately, it's myself that I'm letting down by my own thinking and actions. My own internal disapproval is far worse than any outside influence. So, making peace with myself is the key to building inner strength.

    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    So I started to act artificially confident and didn't let my depression affect me, and it sort of set in.
    I agree with this. You'd sort of have to forcefully make yourself believe in yourself and not let the negative thoughts overwhelm you because they're not going to get you anywhere. I admit, when I'm in a weaker mindset, I often let things overwhelm me but some days everything just clicks, turns around and stays like that for quite a while. Confidence feeds confidence.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    But basically it's useless to not be the best person you can possibly be.
    There is validity in this statement.


    It also helps to think of reasons WHY you are good. Looking at the average joe and realizing you are better than him in this or that way, for example.


    Also let your superior Fi value system show you how you are making the right choices when others are more preoccupied with the shine factor of their car's paint.

  5. #5
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    There is validity in this statement.


    It also helps to think of reasons WHY you are good. Looking at the average joe and realizing you are better than him in this or that way, for example.


    Also let your superior Fi value system show you how you are making the right choices when others are more preoccupied with the shine factor of their car's paint.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
    06/13 10:51:08 shortnsweet: no you!!
    06/13 10:51:12 shortnsweet: go do your things and my things too!
    06/13 10:51:23 five sounds: oh hell naw
    06/13 10:51:55 shortnsweet: !!!!
    06/13 10:51:57 shortnsweet: (cries)
    06/13 10:52:19 RiftsWRX: You two are like furbies stuck in a shoe box

    My Nohari
    My Johari
    by sns.

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    BC has a good response.

    I have found it helpful to think less and do more.

    I also have become more accepting of my silly whimsical arbitrary side, which in turn helped my confidence. I dont know how I became this way though, learning about Fi may have helped some.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Yes? What is the question?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    Yes? What is the question?
    Fi helps you choose a color of paint.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lamp View Post
    Fi helps you choose a color of paint.
    It also helps you understand the color you chose is the right one, irrespective of what other people might tell you.

  10. #10
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    well I used to be alot more confident that I am right now, and what helped was going out and putting myself on the line, doing things I knew people would see me do(that I was embarassed about and could potentially damage my rep) but do it anyway. nothing crazy or anything but things outside my comfort zone. I did that repeatedly and overtime I cared less and less of what people thought. after I stopped doing it for awhile, my 'anxiety' came back.

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