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  1. #31
    Senior Member Lurker's Avatar
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    No, not really.

    I was more resilient when I was younger.

  2. #32
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Yes. I'm a fairly resilient person. Not naturally, though. Naturally I was easily discouraged and prone to becoming overwhelmed. Over time (sick of being unhappy), I think i've developed good coping and resilience. I still need to remind myself on how to cope with things these days, though. What helps, what doesn't.
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  3. #33
    mountain surfing nomadic's Avatar
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    yeah stuff doesn't really faze me and i don't really get depressed...

    the one time i had depression was when I almost died falling off a cliff boarding, broke my foot, recovering from surgery, me and my gf of 4 years broke up(living together), my grandmother that lived with us growing up died, I got laid off from my job. All that happened in a span of 1 month. I was pretty depressed so i'd smoke out with my friends like every day for a few months to forget about all that stuff. this italian girl i dated totally brightened my day back then eventually...

  4. #34
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    So, I'm the first so far to admit lack of resiliency in some aspects? It might well be the case - I feel I've been down in some situations where many have just kept going.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #35
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    No..not really
    It's one of the qualities i admire greatly in for instance NTJs and STPs
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  6. #36
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Some mishaps have been able to take my confidence down in a situational aspect, but almost never in a total, all-encompassing manner. Some of those situations have forced me to set my goals elsewhere. I've sometimes continued to feel a loss and depression related to the original goals, but most often I have been able to work fully towards the new goals with a good spirit and confidence.

    Perhaps that counts as resilience, and I should give more credit to myself. Not everything can be accomplished at all times. Yet - even though I might be hugely bothered by failing in something after some time, I do remember the occurrences for very long time.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #37
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    No..not really
    It's one of the qualities i admire greatly in for instance NTJs and STPs
    I love disasterous circumstances.
    They are soothing somehow.

    This is where having very poorly developed emotions helps out alot.

    Because we do not feel stressed out, we are able to remain calm and think through the best way to mitigate the situation at hand.

    But if you ask us what kind of cake we want on our birthday we'll have to build a spreadsheet and calculate that out. :yim_rolling_on_the_
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  8. #38
    Charting a course
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    I love disastrous circumstances.
    They are soothing somehow.


    Because we do not feel stressed out, we are able to remain calm and think through the best way to mitigate the situation at hand.

    But if you ask us what kind of cake we want on our birthday we'll have to build a spreadsheet and calculate that out. :yim_rolling_on_the_
    Holy crap!

    That's it exactly. The minor stuff makes me insane. Just make me a cake, you should know what I like. Unless it's frosted with anchovy paste, I'll appreciate it.

    When it's life or death, or a major life changing event (other than say...a divorce) it's like emotions get put into a box, to be saved for later. Then after the blood is done spraying, the gore has been mopped up, and someone has filled in the holes in the concrete. I'll let them back out, and work through the emotions.

  9. #39
    Nickle Iron Silicone Charmed Justice's Avatar
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    Eh...
    I have been mostly resilient in the past. People often depend on me because of that. I've always been naturally calm and collected under high stress and have bounced back relatively quickly.

    I don't know these days though. I guess everyone has some sort of breaking point. I've experienced so much loss in the past few years, and while I've still plowed through and most people who are close to me still find me strong enough to lean on, I can't honestly say I'm over most of it.
    There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.

  10. #40
    Senor Membrane
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Is understanding, knowing, or even being concerned about why the trauma occurred or is occurring and its effects on you and those around you important to being a resilient person? Basically, do you have to understand why ("Why me?!?") in order to be resilient?
    Hmm... Well, the latest situation that I was resilient in was when a guy beat me up some months ago. This is maybe not exactly what you mean but anyways. My response to what happened was that I took the situation and turned it around in my mind. I had been worried if I would snap when someone pushed me too far, and after this beating I could safely say that I will not snap. So in a way it was a good lesson and gave me confidence. The other thing that I learned was that I had changed since the last time I was threatened with violence. Some years ago I was in a similar situation but managed to get away before the beating began. The difference between then and now is that now I don't feel like a victim. So, I would say that I am now resilient in a way that you can't threaten or beat me up and make me a victim anymore. The rebound time was short, I was ok in a few hours.

    About the "Why me?". I did ask this question from the assaulter, and did it in a quite noisy manner, but I saw that he was just another asshole who can't control his temper. After that I don't think I asked the question from myself, it was more like, "What can I learn about this?". I think I have a similar attitude to many problems.

    I'd like to add that the descriptions of resilience don't really fit me. Especially the control stuff. I don't believe in controlling life. I have a resilient mind, that's all.

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