User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 41

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    837

    Default

    Recovering from a set-back isn't that difficult for me, I don't think. Actually, I think it's better that way. Without that kind of challenge, I'm lost. When something bad happens, I have no choice but to conquer it. When everything is okay, I get lazy and don't do anything. So, I guess I'm resilient in some ways and not in others.

    That was my answer to your first question. I have no idea when it comes to the rest of them.
    "When a resolute young fellow steps up the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find that it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  2. #12
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    isfp
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Posts
    8,587

    Default

    I find myself resilient for a couple of reasons. The first is internal adaptability. My worldview is not rigid. I reinterpret my understanding of reality depending on new information I learn. I let the internal model respond and adapt rather than insisting on forcing all new information into a preset model. This process can be painful and it also requires a certain degree of skepticism that does not clutch onto a single idea as infallible or constant.

    The second reason I consider myself resilient is because I don't have to feel okay to be okay. I can be deeply hurt or frightened and still function. I have a high tolerance to pain. I've learned ways to identify what needs to be done and to focus in on it in the present. Then recuperation time alone is necessary. When I feel something overwhelming I still press on and it has served me well.

    I also try to have a clear sense of internal boundaries. There is only so much I can know or do, and so if I act within the best motivations I know and the result is still bad or wrong, there isn't any more I can do.

    That sense of how small I actually am in the whole reminds me of the limits of my actual control and influence, and the limits of my knowledge. Anytime I lose sight of my true measure of minimal significance is when I start to lose the ability to be resilient.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  3. #13
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    MBTI
    ENFP
    Enneagram
    7w6
    Socionics
    ENFp
    Posts
    6,075

    Default

    In theory I am, I recover quickly from small things. But if something "large" rocks my world I don't recover quickly at all - I dwell on it a long time, even years.

    I tend to need to talk things out that bother me so if I can do that, usually I'm ok. If I don't get to talk things out, for whatever reason, I don't get over things.

  4. #14
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    3,272

    Default

    I guess it depends on the kind of trouble I'm facing. I get depressed from some problems for quite a while. Most problems affect me only for a very passing moment - I just feel and live the problems momentarily, then I'm back in business, removing the troubles as soon as possible. Then again, some problems don't touch me at all - I go straight to the problem solving phase.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    I find myself resilient for a couple of reasons. The first is internal adaptability. My worldview is not rigid. I reinterpret my understanding of reality depending on new information I learn. I let the internal model respond and adapt rather than insisting on forcing all new information into a preset model.This process can be painful and it also requires a certain degree of skepticism that does not clutch onto a single idea as infallible or constant.
    I relate very much to this. I agree though, the process can be painful - incorporating the new information or taking the time necessary to shift perspectives so as to adapt and move forward.

    The second reason I consider myself resilient is because I don't have to feel okay to be okay. I can be deeply hurt or frightened and still function. I have a high tolerance to pain. I've learned ways to identify what needs to be done and to focus in on it in the present. Then recuperation time alone is necessary. When I feel something overwhelming I still press on and it has served me well.
    I relate to this. There have been periods in my life when internally I have *felt* far from resilient, but thus far I've also always had quite a lot of willpower and determination (in the sense of being able to force myself to do things I might not feel like doing, and in the sense of gritting-my-teeth through whatever current non-optimal situation I'm facing), so externally I have always kept on trucking and have remained quite functional, and in more stressful/conflict situations I tend to remain calm.

    Also I have a very high drive to 'solve the problem' (understand, analyze, then solve/address it by making behavioral changes or changing my perception of things) and move on, simply because I see little point in remaining in a negative frame of mind; life is too short and let's face it, I'd rather be positive and look to the future! The time this takes will vary on the situation, but again it's pretty much done internally and I continue on in my everyday life throughout, without any impacts to speak of in my life externally.

    I think not being able to move on/let go tends to be tied more to having difficulty really accepting ones' own lack of control in many situations, and inability to take what I'll call a more detached view of Life, meaning Life can often be unfair, unjust, chaotic...it's just a fact. So, not accepting certain facts, maybe.

    To the OP, to answer the final question...I think a 5-10 year processing time seems, well, un-resilient, especially if over the entire time the persons' inability to move forward is really impacting them..which I assume would be the case. I'd almost equate it to 5-10 years of life - of actual living - that are lost. It seems a shame. But maybe that's extreme.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  6. #16
    Senior Member Nescio's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    141

    Default

    <--- Extremely resilient by nature... or just oblivious

    Elementary school was a beating for me... retrospectively

    middle school sucks for everyone...

    and I've had my fights with mind problems... (what with the ADD and all)

  7. #17

    Default

    This is one of those topic that its difficult to respond to without appearing, at the very least, to be immodest or boastful.

    Relative to a lot of the people who I have daily contact with I am resilient. That's not to say that I personally am a paragon of strength in adversity, optimism and determination or whatever criteria you choose. Perhaps they are all just poorer examples of those traits than me.

    From experience I'm able to continue thinking, reasoning and behaving calmly and confidently under duress and stress. I've also cracked on a couple of occasions and I know just what will make me crack and when. When I have cracked for the most part the circumstances has involved simultaneous stressers, rather than a single event or incident no matter how traumatic. Most of the time it has involved deliberate pressurisation/scheming or suspiscions about it. That's pretty unique and I believe would threaten even the most resilient.

    Conversely I've met people who lack any or all resilience and suffer as a cosequence. I've also consciously worked to try and teach the sorts of resilience which can have the greatest benefits, such as learned optimism or positive psychology.

    Its not easy if you meet someone genuinely lacking in resilience. Individuals whose biography and biology (to use the twin euphenisms for nature and nuture) prejudice their development of resilience. There's really little you can do or expect, really it is a matter of attempting to de-escalate or manage them when stress or adversity triggers their fight or flight reactions. Now when I talk about stress, in all seriousness, this could be as little as encountering unexpected weather, a change in daily routines, such as unscheduled bus or train detour.

    The reality is that for most of their lives these people will need someone on hand to co-regulate for them, assist in managing their emotional state, now that might be friends or family or some medium like an internet chat room were they can troll or vent rather than professionals (public or private) but they'll need it.

    Some will develop greater self-regulation and others wont, which can be in turn to do with motivation to change, incentives to change, cognitive capacity or abilities to develop insights in the first place (all prejudiced by a lack of resilience too).
    Last edited by Survive & Stay Free; 12-28-2009 at 03:08 PM.

  8. #18

    Default

    I'd say yes. I normally do well under a lot of pressure or in high demand/high stress situations. I can get annoyed and want out under a little pressure when I don't think it matters though. I take a lot of hits to heart and go down occasionally, but can usually step out of it if I need to and something matters. When I fall I normally work through it and come up stronger and knowing more. I'm very level emotioned also, and pretty difficult to get wound up or bogged down.
    Freude, schöner Götterfunken Tochter aus Elysium, Wir betreten feuertrunken, Himmlische, dein Heiligtum! Deine Zauber binden wieder Was die Mode streng geteilt; Alle Menschen werden Brüder, Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.

  9. #19
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,377

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Is understanding, knowing, or even being concerned about why the trauma occurred or is occurring and its effects on you and those around you important to being a resilient person? Basically, do you have to understand why ("Why me?!?") in order to be resilient?
    I believe that I am a resiliant person now, but that I didn't used to be. In my experience this question "Why me?!?" is one of the biggest things hindering resiliency. In truth reality takes a dump on every person from time to time. None of us is being singled out. Once I have that mindset it allows me to easily deal with the problem and move on. This is especially effective if it simply appears that I'm having bad luck. On the other hand if my problem has more to do with the relationships I have with other people, then asking "Why" is a good idea, because it can lead to developing effective strategies that will avoid having this problem repeat again.
    My wife and I made a game to teach kids about nutrition. Please try our game and vote for us to win. (Voting period: July 14 - August 14)
    http://www.revoltingvegetables.com

  10. #20
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    827 sp/so
    Posts
    20,122

    Default

    well- considering what I've gotten through to have the nice, normal life I have today, I'd have to have some streak of resiliancy

    I do think that a simple attitude adjustment is generally all that is needed- and I suspect that it's more alligned with extroverted personality qualities than with the introverted ones (sorry introverts!)
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

Similar Threads

  1. Do you consider yourself my friend?
    By ThatsWhatHeSaid in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 08-14-2011, 01:05 PM
  2. Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
    By Sunshine in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 130
    Last Post: 12-17-2009, 03:35 PM
  3. [MBTItm] NFP's: how nurturing do you consider yourself?
    By Scott N Denver in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 08-13-2009, 11:17 PM
  4. [SJ] SJ's, do you consider yourself funny?
    By OregonENFP in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 21
    Last Post: 04-03-2009, 07:38 AM
  5. [SP] SPs, do you consider yourself...
    By deep rain in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 45
    Last Post: 02-21-2008, 11:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO