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  1. #1
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Default What makes someone likable?

    This may have obvious answers, but I'm curious to know what qualities people find likable and pleasant in others. I'm specifically referring to the people you come into contact with that you have a positive disposition towards but aren't particularly close to. What do they do? Smile a lot? Funny? Helpful? Knowledgeable?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  2. #2
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    What do they do?
    Suck up.

    I'm not even kidding though I hope I can soon use the past tense with veracity. Up until now I've been extremely susceptible to... not exactly flattery, but expressions of recognition of and appreciation for my insightfulness. I'm still learning how to relate to an ENFJ friend of mine who until recently had me wrapped around her finger for that reason.

    Failing that there's the standard stuff from the etiquette books: Are they friendly? Polite? Interested in (making a connection with) other people? These things are so elementary, and yet in my experience the total package is surprisingly infrequent. If I'm seated at a dinner party next to a person who fulfills all three criteria, I consider myself lucky.

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    For people I'm not necessarily close to?

    I appreciate:
    - A sense of humor.
    - Desire to engage (i.e., they listen and respond and give me something to respond to)
    - Seem open and friendly
    - Considerate/Kind/Respectful
    - Aren't neurotic (i.e., don't put up lots of obvious walls, yet on the other hand do not cling to me or intrude on my boundaries)

    For people I grow close to, there are some other traits as well.

    And yes, smiling helps a great deal.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    Senior Member reason's Avatar
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    Breasts?
    A criticism that can be brought against everything ought not to be brought against anything.

  5. #5
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Well... they just have to be somewhat polite. Not extremely polite, just not pointlessly/needlessly crass. It's hard to express what I mean. Logic and insensitivity doesn't offend me as much as it might some people, but being purposefully belligerent for no good reason, and behaving tastelessly/grossly actually bothers me a lot. The division can be hard to see for some people, but it seems so clear to me.

    Oh, and they're especially likable if they seem interested in and understand what I have to say, and if the things they say are interesting and understandable to me.

  6. #6
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nocturne View Post
    Breasts?
    Is there a specific size preference or are mosquito bites all good too?
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  7. #7
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nocturne View Post
    Breasts?


    As the song goes, "He only has eyessssss.... for booooobbsssss..."
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #8
    Senior Member reason's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Is there a specific size preference or are mosquito bites all good too?
    Horses for courses.
    A criticism that can be brought against everything ought not to be brought against anything.

  9. #9
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    I'm drawn towards people who aren't too perfect or demanding. Someone who seems flexible towards life and has an invested curiosity in something. Someone who has some childlike element involved. Someone who doesn't seem angry or controlling.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  10. #10
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    they can listen and converse on a variety of topics! (really- those two factors cover it for me!)

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