• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

What makes someone likable?

proteanmix

Plumage and Moult
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
5,514
Enneagram
1w2
This may have obvious answers, but I'm curious to know what qualities people find likable and pleasant in others. I'm specifically referring to the people you come into contact with that you have a positive disposition towards but aren't particularly close to. What do they do? Smile a lot? Funny? Helpful? Knowledgeable?
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
What do they do?

Suck up. :yes:

I'm not even kidding :blush: though I hope I can soon use the past tense with veracity. Up until now I've been extremely susceptible to... not exactly flattery, but expressions of recognition of and appreciation for my insightfulness. I'm still learning how to relate to an ENFJ friend of mine who until recently had me wrapped around her finger for that reason.

Failing that :whistling: ;) there's the standard stuff from the etiquette books: Are they friendly? Polite? Interested in (making a connection with) other people? These things are so elementary, and yet in my experience the total package is surprisingly infrequent. If I'm seated at a dinner party next to a person who fulfills all three criteria, I consider myself lucky.
 

Totenkindly

@.~*virinaĉo*~.@
Joined
Apr 19, 2007
Messages
50,187
MBTI Type
BELF
Enneagram
594
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
For people I'm not necessarily close to?

I appreciate:
- A sense of humor.
- Desire to engage (i.e., they listen and respond and give me something to respond to)
- Seem open and friendly
- Considerate/Kind/Respectful
- Aren't neurotic (i.e., don't put up lots of obvious walls, yet on the other hand do not cling to me or intrude on my boundaries)

For people I grow close to, there are some other traits as well.

And yes, smiling helps a great deal. :)
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
Well... they just have to be somewhat polite. Not extremely polite, just not pointlessly/needlessly crass. It's hard to express what I mean. Logic and insensitivity doesn't offend me as much as it might some people, but being purposefully belligerent for no good reason, and behaving tastelessly/grossly actually bothers me a lot. The division can be hard to see for some people, but it seems so clear to me.

Oh, and they're especially likable if they seem interested in and understand what I have to say, and if the things they say are interesting and understandable to me.
 

Siúil a Rúin

when the colors fade
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
14,037
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
496
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I'm drawn towards people who aren't too perfect or demanding. Someone who seems flexible towards life and has an invested curiosity in something. Someone who has some childlike element involved. Someone who doesn't seem angry or controlling.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
they can listen and converse on a variety of topics! (really- those two factors cover it for me!)
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
-(ex-coworker ESFP) crazy stories, fun, happy, generous
-(acquaintance IXXP) laid-back, similar outlook on things, does his own thing, "nice guy"
-(ex-boss ENTJ) funny/sarcastic, strong-willed, practical, wise decisions
-(acquaintance ExTP) sarcastic, loud, seems interesting
-(acquaintance-friend IXXP) smart, friendly, similar interests, "nice guy"
-(acquaintance IxTx) polite, friendly, laid-back, "nice guy"

Those are the first ones I thought of, there's lots more though. I like a lot of different people for different reasons. Really I like everyone by default, until they do something that pisses me off, or if they're standoff-ish enough that I never see them again. Reasons for disliking people would interest me more, I think.
 

substitute

New member
Joined
May 27, 2007
Messages
4,601
MBTI Type
ENTP
For me?

Cheerfulness
Openness to adventure, learning and experience
Optimistic and trusting
Aspiration to better themselves
Acceptance of others as they are (as opposed to people who try to change you, or think of you as more of a project than a person)
Helpfulness and accepting of others' help
Accessible/available - not people who you can only see if you grab a window in their packed schedule a month in advance
Can take their drink - not people who transform into a monster with a few beers
Can behave relatively well in public and not embarrass you
Reasonable
Direct and frank about what they think - no mind games/guessing games please!
Respect others' boundaries and can give people space when they need it, as opposed to those who take it personally when you don't feel like seeing them
Is willing to show anger/ has a temper but they restrain it unless provoked - if I'm pissing someone off I want to know about it so I can do something about it, I don't want them silently seething and martyring themselves only to bring it up as a guilt trip later!!


Hm, I think that's about it.
 

Economica

Dhampyr
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
2,054
MBTI Type
INTJ
Reasons for disliking people would interest me more, I think.

I worded my criteria positively...

Are they friendly? Polite? Interested in (making a connection with) other people?

... but flipped around they constitute what I know to be my social turnoffs.

Admittedly, I've suffered through excruciatingly difficult dinner party conversations with people who fulfilled all three criteria but where we just didn't click. I don't hold that against them though. I like people who make an effort socially, even if they and I are not meant to be friends.

Edit: proteanmix, based on your post in my blog I have to ask if this is what you wanted from the thread?
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
Joined
Nov 5, 2007
Messages
11,429
MBTI Type
eNFJ
Enneagram
4w3
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
What makes someone lickable? Hmm. Lickable. Let me think...
 

Maverick

New member
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
880
MBTI Type
ENTJ
The the type of people I really like have integrity. They do not compromise their values/ideas in favor of the harmony of a group they are in and are not afraid to take a stance if it is warranted in face of overwhelming opposition. They have guts and are ready to fight for a just cause if the situation presents itself. Anyone who does this earns my instant respect and liking.

They like to discuss and debate ideas... and importantly they have alot of insight on situations. They are not hypersensitive and can handle disagreement calmly. They know what they want. Underneath they are warm, friendly and accepting people. Finally, they don't play mind games.

Those are the key characteristics. My closest NT, NF, SJ and SP friends all share these traits.
 

JAVO

.
Joined
Apr 24, 2007
Messages
9,178
MBTI Type
eNTP
Two examples drawn from this thread...

Suck up. :yes:

I'm not even kidding :blush: though I hope I can soon use the past tense with veracity. Up until now I've been extremely susceptible to... not exactly flattery, but expressions of recognition of and appreciation for my insightfulness.
And, the other side of that: someone who appreciates and values your recognition and appreciation.


What makes someone lickable? Hmm. Lickable. Let me think...
:rofl1:

...someone who makes spontaneous humor with an intuitive or unexpected twist.
 

The_Liquid_Laser

Glowy Goopy Goodness
Joined
Jul 11, 2007
Messages
3,376
MBTI Type
ENTP
Here are some characteristics I see in a person that I like to be with:
authentic and transparent
unusual
an interested listener
has unusual interests that they are passionate about and can carry on a good conversation
follows their convictions
sense of humor
compassionate
adventurous
creative and/or insightful
 

niffer

New member
Joined
Apr 26, 2007
Messages
1,217
MBTI Type
ENfP
Enneagram
8w9
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
As long as they seem open, and not snooty or overly aloof.
 
Top