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What makes someone likable?

swordpath

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
10,547
MBTI Type
ISTx
Enneagram
5w6
But I don't see how the subconscious smell of a person can help make them likable anymore than the pleasant smell of coffee can cause it to taste any better.
 

white

~dangerous curves ahead~
Joined
Nov 15, 2007
Messages
2,591
MBTI Type
ENTP
Compassion towards other people or just compassion about something?

Compassion in the sense of an expansion of the cult of self to include others, be they human / animal etc. Cruelty turns me off, whether physical, mental, emotional. It means to me a with-holding of judgement, and accepting others as they are, but at the same time, knowing your own boundaries - you cannot help someone else if you're sinking under yourself.

I think kindness and compassion is under-rated nowadays - it is often mistaken as weakness in our societies, or seen as a means to an end. But I think it takes a truly strong person to be compassionate. So yea. It is an innate strength that I'm looking for there, with a conscience and an intelligence to use the strength, not to strike, but to help.

Is that BS to you? :D
 

swordpath

New member
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
10,547
MBTI Type
ISTx
Enneagram
5w6
Compassion in the sense of an expansion of the cult of self to include others, be they human / animal etc. Cruelty turns me off, whether physical, mental, emotional. It means to me a with-holding of judgement, and accepting others as they are, but at the same time, knowing your own boundaries - you cannot help someone else if you're sinking under yourself.

I think kindness and compassion is under-rated nowadays - it is often mistaken as weakness in our societies, or seen as a means to an end. But I think it takes a truly strong person to be compassionate. So yea. It is an innate strength that I'm looking for there, with a conscience and an intelligence to use the strength, not to strike, but to help.

Is that BS to you? :D

Nope, not BS. :D

I whole heartedly agree with you. I won't lie and say I'm the most compassionate person on the planet, but I think that without the people on this earth that exercise compassion, is it even worth living? I find myself being very appreciative of random people I cross paths with that show a happy glow and that seem to genuinely care about the well being of others. Where would we be without that?
 

Nadir

Enigma
Joined
Dec 17, 2007
Messages
544
MBTI Type
INxJ
Enneagram
4
The moment I not only know but also readily appreciate where someone is coming from when that someone talks, acts, or thinks, is the moment I feel warm familiarity. The existence of, or potential for such compatibility usually makes itself apparent in some way during the initial contact. Gut feelings.

And if this appreciation is mutual? That would mark the conception of a friendship.
 

Splittet

Wannabe genius
Joined
Jun 12, 2007
Messages
632
MBTI Type
INTJ
First of all, for me to like a person, that person must be creative and/or intelligent. I like it when there is something "off" about a person, when they can surprise me. Also it is a giveaway if you have something unusual in common with that person, like both being INTJs.
 

Tigerlily

unscannable
Joined
Jun 21, 2007
Messages
5,942
MBTI Type
TIGR
Enneagram
3w4
Now why did I think you were batting for the other team? Anyway thanks for setting me straight. :smile:
For me?

Cheerfulness
Openness to adventure, learning and experience
Optimistic and trusting
Aspiration to better themselves
Acceptance of others as they are (as opposed to people who try to change you, or think of you as more of a project than a person)
Helpfulness and accepting of others' help
Accessible/available - not people who you can only see if you grab a window in their packed schedule a month in advance
Can take their drink - not people who transform into a monster with a few beers
Can behave relatively well in public and not embarrass you
Reasonable
Direct and frank about what they think - no mind games/guessing games please!
Respect others' boundaries and can give people space when they need it, as opposed to those who take it personally when you don't feel like seeing them
Is willing to show anger/ has a temper but they restrain it unless provoked - if I'm pissing someone off I want to know about it so I can do something about it, I don't want them silently seething and martyring themselves only to bring it up as a guilt trip later!!


Hm, I think that's about it.
That's a long list. I'm feeling dizzy, I think I'll go lie down. :D
 

Simplexity

New member
Joined
Jul 15, 2008
Messages
1,741
MBTI Type
INTP
If people like them.

If they're not hated.

Not perverted or stalkers...
 

A Schnitzel

WTF is this dude saying?
Joined
Jun 4, 2008
Messages
1,155
MBTI Type
INTP
Starting quality threads definitely increases a persons likability.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Someone who is kind and nonjudgmental, approachable and light-hearted, someone who enjoys making people feel good, who is smart but lacking in pretension, oh, and someone with a good a sense of humor.

These qualities tend to be exhibited by generally likable people, I've observed.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
Joined
Oct 4, 2007
Messages
20,589
Enneagram
827
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Good intentions matter a lot- I can like a person who means no evil even if they f- up occasionally.

A sense of reciprocity.

The ability to laugh.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
Joined
May 30, 2008
Messages
11,590
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
9w8
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
Genuine positivity/optimism.
 

GargoylesLegacy

Kickin' Ass since 1984
Joined
Oct 29, 2008
Messages
1,399
MBTI Type
ESTP
Enneagram
8w9
Hm, humorous, caring, interested, tolerant, honest, polite, friendly.
Yeah, that works. =)
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
i really appreciate a live and let live mentality...i personally don't enjoy being around people that have so many opinions about other peoples lives.

someone who's good natured with their heart in the right place.
it's important for me to be able to relate on some level...same sense of humor or similar interests or something.
i appreciate a positive attitude as well.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
admitting faults...totally likable ;)
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
A certain degree of self-deprecation is always likable, people tend to not like "perfection" in a person, ironically.
 

Typology

New member
Joined
Nov 21, 2008
Messages
167
MBTI Type
epyT
Enneagram
...
I've been wondering the same thing lately as well. Basically the main thing I came up with was that you can't be a complete asshole. You have to build people up before you can poke fun at them again. :)
 
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