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  1. #31
    RETIRED CzeCze's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    To be just likeable though, I suppose polite and friendly are enough, for me.
    You know I forget the OP's intention and my own answer was really more about how to make yourself more *influential* i.e. what occupational books on 'maximizing personal power' and 'workplace dynamics' will tell you to do... and no I don't read those books. No seriously, I buy them but I never get around to reading them.

    And with this Substitute's amendment of 'polite and friendly are enough' -- I think this actually will make someone safe and socially acceptable. Like how you describe the shyest kids in highschool as 'nice' because you know so little about them (and have not had the inclination to change that) you have nothing else to say about them.

    I remember the ONE person on my team in my last job that I actually could stand, and that was exactly why. He was polite. Actually he wasn't even friendly, he was NEUTRAL which comparatively in tank of sharks might as well be friendly.

    Basically, I have to rethink what makes someone 'likeable'. I guess I'm not sure about the definitions. 'Likeable' can mean don't rock the boat and kinda boring...which is exactly what people go for in certain job and work situations. Pleasantly safe.

    I guess if you were enthusiastically and genuinely friendly that would push someone past 'safe and bland' to having a likeable quality.

    At least this is what is going through my mind right now.

  2. #32
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Well I just meant, the minimum prerequisites for a person when I first meet them, for me to think I wouldn't mind working with them. To me 'likeable' means just someone I don't hate. If I say someone's likeable, I just mean I'm just a bit warmer than neutral towards them, predisposed to listen to them and say 'yes' to a reasonable request, and likely to be friendly towards them. In which case, as long as they're polite and friendly, it'll be enough for me, and I'd have to see a few bad qualities before I became less well disposed towards them.
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  3. #33
    Senior Member kuranes's Avatar
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    I can "like" a wide variety of people.

    If they are interesting or funny enough, I am even willing to put up with an extremely selfish person, to some extent. In the latter case, it's kind of like the old stories about always remaining within the circle when conjuring demons. If you know that this person takes their time and scheduling commitments lightly, for example, do not even try to get their agreement to meet you at a future date.

    The Dale Carnegie-type books say that we like people who show an interest in our favorite subject -ourselves. I think there's a lot of truth to this. Having some common interests or goals can help this phenomenon to not seem so disagreeable, if indeed you see this as "false".

    I also like people who can smoothly change gears between being good listeners and good talkers. Creative people. People who are open to suggestions, assuming they seem to lead a life which ( to me, or to both of us ) seems boring or otherwise objectionable when I am meeting them. Sometimes I am student and sometimes I am teacher, even with children or people one would not otherwise think to be "teachers".

    I like some people whose skills and strengths complement mine vs. mirror them.

    It is not necessary for me to "like" someone to spend occasional productive time or even enjoyable time with them. This assumes I can subtly or directly take some charge about when or how often I interact with people I don't like, though. I can feel the opposite way when I am stuck dealing with such people at their convenience. I can often change the behavior of people who were originally unlikeable by me. Or I can at least get them to change it temporarily ( while they are with me ) by making sure that during those occasions we engage in activities that we find mutually beneficial.

    I have even been known to take on clients that were obnoxious, just because they paid well. One must always weigh the pros and cons of this kind of thing, to constantly update our evaluations of whether it is worth it. ( And weigh the cost of time spent evaluating, too, which is a secondary aspect sometimes not considered. ) I have friends and associates with the complete opposite POV on this latter point. They will not take on clients unless there develops a really strong warm/fuzzy sense of "win-win" in early meetings. I continue to question myself as to whether I should change and begin doing this myself.
    "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them that they are being attacked and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country."
    Reichsfuhrer Herman Goering at the Nuremburg trials.

  4. #34
    Senior Member OctaviaCaesar's Avatar
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    The most pleasant kind of person to me is one who can engage me in conversation, making me laugh while not judging me, and being optimistic. The xSFPs I have met are like this.

  5. #35
    Junior Member the human iPod's Avatar
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    Interviewer: Why don't alot of people like you, John?

    John Lennon: You know, I think it has something to do with me face. People just really don't like me face.

    Interviewer: Is it the fact that your against the establishment?

    Lennon: I guess it shows up on the face.

  6. #36
    Doesn't Read Your Posts Haight's Avatar
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    Feel free to use me as a test case.
    "The only time I'm wrong is when I'm questioning myself."
    Haight

  7. #37
    Scream down the boulevard LadyJaye's Avatar
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    Deodorant.

  8. #38
    Member Hypomanic's Avatar
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    + Sexy
    + Friendly

  9. #39
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    This may have obvious answers, but I'm curious to know what qualities people find likable and pleasant in others. I'm specifically referring to the people you come into contact with that you have a positive disposition towards but aren't particularly close to. What do they do? Smile a lot? Funny? Helpful? Knowledgeable?
    I just love when people are cheerful, decisive, openminded and empathetic.

    On the opposite side I despise people who can't make quick decisions, are closeminded boneheads(extreme cases like nazis etc), emo kids and psychopaths. Though strangely enough, I also find psychopaths interesting, as they in general are quite the opposite of how I work.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  10. #40
    Senior Member lecky's Avatar
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    In general, I tend to like people who are friendly, thoughtful, funny, and put me at ease.

    I have a great fondness for people who I can act goofy and silly with! I like people who love to laugh like me!

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