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Thread: An actual shadow

  1. #11
    Senior Member Array MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    Jun 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Soar337 View Post
    FP's do this too I think, lol!
    Yep, true, IME. I tend to not really want to help someone unless I actually like them, and usually for me...liking someone is a big deal.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Array NewEra's Avatar
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    Dec 2008


    Dude, you're actually a chick.

    No but seriously, it could be development of that tertiary Fi. Have you had these secret feelings all your life or is it just now? I've never felt like that to be honest. Maybe you've suppressed some of those feelings for whatever reason, and now they're making their way out. Could this be it?

    I am interested in a few feminine things too, like... changing home's appearance, and well I guess that's it, but that doesn't make me any less of a man. So yeah I would say it's either the Fi development or the suppressing of the feminine side. Hope this helped.

  3. #13
    Was E.laur Array Laurie's Avatar
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    Jan 2009


    I haven't met a male that doesn't enjoy decking out his female avatar and playing as a female. Anywhere from INTJ to ESFP. I think it's enjoying being allowed to play with dolls and having freedom to try being a "woman." One of my friends even talked to women he knew as a male in a female avatar and felt freedom doing it. (never told them)

  4. #14
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    549 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by raz View Post
    To me, it's more things I become interested in, but keep myself away from because I'm afraid of what others think. Like, at work, we have these originality beads that you can make bracelets and necklaces with. I always tell coworkers or customers if I were a teenage girl, I would be obsessed with them. I mean, it's just not something a 23 year old guy can go play with.
    I really understand that and empathize with you. There are some activities that are very strongly gendered in western culture (among others) and to "hop boxes" is punished, overtly or tacitly, and often unconsciously.

    Men generally have the smaller, more rigid box of the two binary genders in terms of allowable interests and presentation at least. Women are allowed far more variety (extending far into the "masculine" end) in those two areas. Men have other privileges in other areas, whereas women are more trapped (I think), but at least in those areas of self-expression, yes, women are freer.

    It's also things like arts and crafts or random cute little things I think of doing but convince myself not to do because I tell myself it's just not necessary to complete my other objectives. Things like going to a coffee shop just to sit there and do homework or use my laptop. Part of me wants to just for the experience, but then I tell myself, "Why do you need to? There's nothing really to gain there that you can't get at home.
    Here, I can say in my experience with ISxJ women, they often have the same level of practicality... as literally stated as what you have said here, I've heard the exact same syntax used by them. So this one isn't necessarily a gendered trait.

    I've been working on fixing my college plans lately, and when I fantasize about it in my head, I seem to put that girl into it. I just think of this organized petite girl taking classes in college with a laptop that has her whole life in it. I picture her sitting at a desk in a classroom working on the schoolwork, concentrated on it, but also talking to close friends next to her. She's not someone overly obsessed with what others think of her. She's someone that'd go to the gym and be relaxed jogging on a treadmill as part of her normal routine.
    It's just interesting to me as to how you view the female as having more freedom than you do. Why is that? It sounds like you feel you have many expectations on you as a male and a girl would be freer to be herself. (Whether or not that is true is besides the point, although when you said things like "She's not someone overly obsessed with what others think of her", that seemed odd to me -- I mean, many women, though not all, OBSESS over how they come across to others and feel far more burden than males seem to!)

    I am more interested in understanding the reasons behind you finding freedom into projecting into a female life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    I haven't met a male that doesn't enjoy decking out his female avatar and playing as a female. Anywhere from INTJ to ESFP. I think it's enjoying being allowed to play with dolls and having freedom to try being a "woman." One of my friends even talked to women he knew as a male in a female avatar and felt freedom doing it. (never told them)
    It's pretty much a running joke in MMOs that 70% of the women are actually men.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #15
    Mud and rain and chaos... Array TickTock's Avatar
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    Jan 2008


    I've been exploring my anima more recently. I've always been in touch with my 'feminine' side and in my first drama classes I would pretended to be a girl - not as a conscious decision I just see the drama room as a place for expression. In a similar way you have found your avatar as a place for that and over time this part of you has become seperated as you explore parts that otherwise you don't feel are available to you. From my own experience I feel free being so connected to this part of me but it is intergrated into my personality. At some point I have questioned my sexuality, the experience was freeing again. I think this is a healthy thing to go through but I would say it would be healthier if you intergrated the parts. I think you haven't through fear of losing your identity. These parts are in you and the freedom you are finding is evidence to me that your identity would be stronger if you start to live out your hidden desires as neither something other (feminine) nor as something hidden. Needless to say this is for you to decide whether or not this is best for you.

    Ed: like taking anart class for example.
    ~ Truth ~ Freedom ~ Health ~ Love ~ Communication ~ Humor ~ Respect ~

  6. #16
    Senior Member Array milkyway2's Avatar
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    Dec 2009


    Of course, there are all sorts of different sides of myself I can get into. Depending on my mood and what not.

  7. #17
    Let's make this showy! Array raz's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    It's more like the feminine side of me feels better at times than the masculine side. Even like picking out clothes, women's clothes tend to look more intriguing. I only ever really like my own clothes when I know it would be effective in impressing women.

    The typical female life just intrigues me. Even now I went shopping for Christmas decorations and when I want look at flowers or pink stuff, I was afraid to. Then I stopped and thought about what that girl would do and she would just look. So I changed my internal viewpoint and I just did those things effortlessly. I don't want to sound crazy.

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