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  1. #31
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Nothing is out of your league if you have the right state of mind.
    The problem isn't really qualifications anyway.
    It's the neon sign blinking on your forehead:

    I HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM.

    Kill it. Before it kills you.
    The only way you will get where you want to go is starting from inside yourself.
    You need a major overhaul.
    Well, I have low self-esteem precisely because I haven't achieved much of anything.

    Actually, I did get a boost to it when I got my High School diploma, so it's a bit higher than it was in high school. If nothing else, I can call myself a high school graduate who got mostly As. That's something I'm proud of, but it's the only thing.

    It seems that I need to achieve something if I want to have any self-esteem. I was actually thinking about learning Spanish. That's a valuable skill, and not everyone bothers to learn it. In fact, I've already started trying to learn the pronunciation.

    I figured as much. Do you live with them?
    That environment is toxic.
    Yes, I've lived with both of them, off and on... but thankfully not at the same time since they're divorced.

  2. #32
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Well, I have low self-esteem precisely because I haven't achieved much of anything.

    Actually, I did get a boost to it when I got my High School diploma, so it's a bit higher than it was in high school. If nothing else, I can call myself a high school graduate who got mostly As. That's something I'm proud of, but it's the only thing.

    It seems that I need to achieve something if I want to have any self-esteem. I was actually thinking about learning Spanish. That's a valuable skill, and not everyone bothers to learn it. In fact, I've already started trying to learn the pronunciation.
    Take small steps. Learn things. Gain confidence. It will build your momentum toward bigger goals. But first you have to designate a goal.

  3. #33
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Take small steps. Learn things. Gain confidence. It will build your momentum toward bigger goals. But first you have to designate a goal.
    Thanks. That's a good idea.

    I'm sorry I was rude to you earlier. That's actually rather thoughtful.

    Anyway...

    I think now I would agree that time is the only currency that's valuable. The trick is remembering it when surrounded by messages that time is expendable, and that other things are not.

  4. #34
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Thanks. That's a good idea.

    I'm sorry I was rude to you earlier. That's actually rather thoughtful.
    Thank you. Now what's your goal?

    Apologies are wonderful, but make sure they don't deviate from the task.

  5. #35
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Thank you. Now what's your goal?

    Apologies are wonderful, but make sure they don't deviate from the task.
    Right now, it's to learn Spanish and get my driver's license. Those are things I could learn that I could be personally proud of, and that might have some use to others.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Right now, it's to learn Spanish and get my driver's license.
    Let's get your driver's license first, as it implies freedom. You have the prerequisite permit, correct?

  7. #37
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Well, I have low self-esteem precisely because I haven't achieved much of anything.
    Is that you or your Dad talking? What a crock. You can feel good about yourself at any age, and it is not dependent upon what you have achieved.


    Actually, I did get a boost to it when I got my High School diploma, so it's a bit higher than it was in high school. If nothing else, I can call myself a high school graduate who got mostly As. That's something I'm proud of, but it's the only thing.
    I figured you were a good student.

    It seems that I need to achieve something if I want to have any self-esteem. I was actually thinking about learning Spanish. That's a valuable skill, and not everyone bothers to learn it. In fact, I've already started trying to learn the pronunciation.
    That's a start. At least "achievement" to you, isn't necessarily monetary.
    Do you write well? How about learning to write articles, freelance?
    What about proofreading?

    Yes, I've lived with both of them, off and on... but thankfully not at the same time since they're divorced.
    There's a glimmer of hope. I don't much care for your Father's negative influence.

  8. #38
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Is that you or your Dad talking? What a crock. You can feel good about yourself at any age, and it is not dependent upon what you have achieved.
    If that's the case, then why do people care so much about achievements? Why are they impressed by them? It seems that people must believe they bestow value on some level...


    That's a start. At least "achievement" to you, isn't necessarily monetary.
    Do you write well? How about learning to write articles, freelance?
    What about proofreading?
    I could definitely do proofreading, with a bit of study. I can't write anything original like an author can, but I can write things such an analysis or an essay. I'm more like an editor than a writer at heart.

    There's a glimmer of hope. I don't much care for your Father's negative influence.
    Me neither. My mom's been trying to help me think positively again, too, but she's stuck in a dead-end job that she feels like she only got by lying, terrified of losing it, and doesn't know how to help me. She said she mostly got it because she literally drove her car everywhere, went into any store she could find, and basically begged everyone for work (mostly because she had to take care of me)... and eventually found a temp agency that sent her to a company that decided to hire her. She's worked there for the last 10+ years, at least. She's never gotten more than a 3 cent raise, and never gotten a promotion.

    She doesn't even think she could find another job if she lost hers... so she's struggling to advise me.

  9. #39
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    If that's the case, then why do people care so much about achievements?
    Because they think that their time here is the only time they have.

  10. #40
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiscoBiscuit View Post
    Because they think that their time here is the only time they have.
    That's probably true, actually.

    So if the time you have here is all that matters... achievements are valuable in that they show you did something other than waste your time!

    That makes sense, actually. So it was never intended to fuel self-esteem, it was intended to show others that you are capable. Self-esteem is taken for granted.

    It kind of sounds like an Fe misinterpretation of Te, doesn't it?

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