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  1. #1

    Default Emotional Intelligence Applied To Motivation/Inspiration: How does one improve it?

    There are certain thoughts, words, deeds, etc. that energize people. Some of them are (nearly) universal, and some of them are more particular.

    How do you get good at knowing what motivates or inspires people (including yourself)?

    What types of things give you energy? What types of things drain your energy?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
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    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
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  2. #2
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    How do you get good at knowing what motivates or inspires people (including yourself)?
    I have a low emotional intelligence, so I couldn't tell ya'. But I think for the most part I know when someone is trying to manipulate me. Otherwise, I am oblivious to everything else. What inspires Sarah? The hell, I haven't a clue unless she told me.

    As for myself, what motivates me depends on my goals--long or short term. I have my goals, and then I have nothing. I'm a lost puppy whenever I'm doing something that does not correlate with my "plans". And one of those "things" includes romantic relationships. My goals are to finish school and become a pharmacist. What happens during and after that is random and it makes me feel anxious. I like to control my environment. And I admit, I don't know myself that well either. So honestly, I can't answer your question

    What types of things give you energy? What types of things drain your energy?
    Umm, shopping gives me energy! Haha. I love shopping with my mother, it's exciting. What else... reading on the train, playing an instrument, anything that is relaxing energizes me. Things that require my utmost attention drains me out: things like going to clubs, entertaining someone, giving people advice, public speaking, etc. I'm actually horrible at public speaking and it terrifies me. I freeze up, stutter, and stumble around a lot. So basically, anything that requires multitasking. I can't do it!
    Between that cigarillo and sticking my finger down my throat to see if I could DT, I feel like puking RN.

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    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    There are certain thoughts, words, deeds, etc. that energize people. Some of them are (nearly) universal, and some of them are more particular.

    How do you get good at knowing what motivates or inspires people (including yourself)?

    What types of things give you energy? What types of things drain your energy?

    If you have to "get good" at motivating and inspiring people, you're faking it.
    It's not something you do, it's part of who you are.

    What gives me energy? Watching people achieve their wildest dream.
    What drains my energy? Dealing with dishonest people.

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    Senior Member run's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    If you have to "get good" at motivating and inspiring people, you're faking it.
    It's not something you do, it's part of who you are.
    Yes. Go from here. I think you have to think objectively, that is, independent of your mind. What is humility, what people are like, etc. not "how can I get better...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    If you have to "get good" at motivating and inspiring people, you're faking it.
    It's not something you do, it's part of who you are.
    So you believe leaders are born, not made?

    What qualities make a person inspiring, or motivating?

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

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    Senior Member run's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    So you believe leaders are born, not made?
    Both.

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    You take the time to observe people. You watch without judging them. You wonder with every action and reaction they make/give to another person what makes them do that. Kind of like logically piecing a system together. You gather information on their background, their passions, their interests, their current life, the situation itself that the (re)action was set in and the person that seemed to trigger it. You wonder how you'dve responded in that situation. You do a background check etc on yourself as you did with him, to get a comparison. And you check what the general reply of people is in that situation to get a baseline. Then you fuse it all together. You check for discrepancies, things that still don't make sense. You zoom in on those and smoothe them out by either reaxamining or gathering more info. Finally, when all the pieces fit, you test your theory on the person. And then you know the answer to all the questions you asked. It'll be like walking in their shoes at least in that situation. And then you press repeat on that button for every new situation you see them in. Till you know them so well, that you can walk in their shoes for real. That, however, is in most cases just a dream. But one worth striving for. With every person it becomes easier and your educated guesses will become more educated and your calculated risks smaller.

    And then, you apply this knowledge to motivate them as you will know what will cause which reaction. And you realize that abusing it would be like shooting yourself in the foot.

    Note: this is also fascinating to do on yourself and highly ironic, amusing and frustrating at times. Like looking in a mirror that reflects back your soul.
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    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    There are certain thoughts, words, deeds, etc. that energize people. Some of them are (nearly) universal, and some of them are more particular.

    How do you get good at knowing what motivates or inspires people (including yourself)?
    The key to motivation is getting to know the other person. (And the key to self-motivation is getting to know yourself.) When you know what someone wants then you can motivate them by helping them to get it.

    There is this idea that motivation comes from a cheerleader or a stirring speech, but that kind of motivation is fleeting. On the other hand if you can tap into a person's deepest dreams and desires then you will truly be able to motivate them. Also it really helps if they trust you.

    What types of things give you energy? What types of things drain your energy?
    A couple of things that give me a lot of energy are performing on stage and playing a challenging strategic board game with a group of friends.

    The most draining activity I can think of is clothes shopping with women.
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    Senior Member sofmarhof's Avatar
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    Ha, motivation. I have not been outside my apartment in 52 hours.

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    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    So you believe leaders are born, not made?

    What qualities make a person inspiring, or motivating?
    1) Yes I believe leaders are born. But even a good artist can create a counterfeit Monet. Unfortunately.

    2) The ability to see potential in others, they have yet to see in themselves.

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