Types and dealing with depression via cutting

[epp]

All I can say is that there is a problem and as long as it's a problem it can be fixed. One just has to find out how. I doubt cutting yourself will really fix it.

I can assure you - no cutter thinks cutting fixes his/her problems.
no, really.
it truly was a really stupid statement to make.

 

[proximo]

I used to do it as a teenager, but I can't really say why I did it. It wasn't consciously a depression thing, or a control thing, or a punishment thing or anything like that. In fact, all I can think of is that it was *fun*.

It's not that I wasn't depressed... I was. But cutting wasn't linked with it in my mind, at least not consciously or on any level I could detect. It was a totally separate thing. After the first time somebody noticed I did it and went all concerned, thinking it was some kind of emo shit, I figured I'd better keep it to myself from then on. So it wasn't for attention either.

 

[Totenkindly]

Hmmm...like heroin junkies? Not being a smart ass. Serious. Heroin junkies will shoot up between their toes (as the legend goes) to avoid detection.

This to me seems like manifestation of shame, which is essentially the state of one's mind/heart/spirtit/whatever disagreeing with one's actions.

Actually, I just consider that mostly the desire to not get caught doing hard drugs illegally. They don't want to be stopped or punished.

Cutting isn't illegal... although there's a chance (like with the heroin) that someone will see the scars and "interfere." Neither addicts OR cutters want people to interfere with their behavior, no, not at all. So no, I don't think cutting is usually for attention; if it is for attention, it's being done not for typical cutting reasons but in service of some other neurosis.

I actually felt better after cutting in some ways. The pain gave me clarity and I felt some energy release from it. However, i also kept thinking there must be some other way of working through the pain and emotional turmoil aside from harming myself.

He really didn't have a good reason, most of it was because he wanted to show someone else how much he hated a specific situation between the two of them. I told him that made no sense to me...

I actually do sort of get it, but I am unable to articulate why it is effective that way or why your friend could not express himself in different modes of communication to the person he was having trouble with.

I did not think he was suicidal, he did not fit the profile at all.

I don't think cutters are suicidal either, per se. It's not a killing mechanism, it's a coping mechanism; you only try to cope if you are trying to survive and fear you will not, so extreme measures are called for. Maybe sometimes the cure will end up being SO extreme that someone does die, but I consider that more a sign that the pain was very dire.

Still, the cutting can cause physical damage, so it's still better to ultimately discover the root cause of the emotional emptiness/pain and deal with it somehow.

 

[Oaky]

I can assure you - no cutter thinks cutting fixes his/her problems.
no, really.
it truly was a really stupid statement to make.

...I don't believe I'm reading this. You think I think cutters think that cutting themselves fixes their problems? Genius! I wasn't teaching. I'm saying it so other people know I know it.

 

[Queen Kat]

I know two people who used to do that. Both ISFJ. One of them was suicidal.

 

[Cindy]

Maybe reading a thread like this would help her? It just shed some light on something I never really understood about myself. I've never done it cos I would feel like an idiot trying to explain something like that and I would be embarrassed if someone fussed over me because of it. I would find another more acceptable way ie a tattoo, a piercing, beating the crap out of a boxing bag. Maybe I would just be reckless. I do know how it feels to want to although it is hard for me to define exactly what that feeling is I'll give it a go: frustration because I can't cry or overcome how I feel, beside myself with shame (even if I have expressed my feelings to someone and they validated them and were OK with it), inflicting a physical injury to represent mental pain because its intangible it's easy to doubt it is actually there (I'm not sure if doubt is the right description but you get the idea).

 

[Haphazard]

...I'm a bit hemophobic so I wouldn't dare dream of doing such a thing. I also don't understand why someone would do it. It hurts, it's disgusting and it's harmful. The most likely ones to do it are the INFPs in my opinion.

Same, can't understand it at all. Faintness is the scariest fucking thing.

 

[JustHer]

I could never cut myself. I deal with depression by becoming even more hyperextraverted (Se, Te, and Fe).

Also, I don't feel deep emotional pain hhehehe.


I do have an INFP friend who used to cut herself. The only type specific corelation I would feel comfortable making is that it is like more of an introvert thing.

 

[Laurie]

No desire ever, although most people in my class (4th grade?) were doing eraser burns for a while. It was "cool" to be able to do it with just an eraser and the pain wasn't bad.

I think I'm like Raging, I really don't like blood so I doubt cutting would appeal to me.

Since it became an "in" thing for a while I'm not sure it's very type oriented. The kids who wouldn't normally do it would be willing to do it because it's "in."

 

[Fidelia]

People cut for various reasons. I think it started out with more women/girls doing it, but I know quite a few boys who do as well. It isn't for attention because most people I know who do it go to great lengths to hide it. There's a huge sense of shame that accompanies it, and yet it appears to be a coping mechanism to deal with pain that has no legitimate outlet for expression. Some people even take it a step further and put things inside the cuts to make them fester (crayons, bits of metal etc that get healed into the skin and then cause problems). I think there is a feeling of control that it gives as well as some release in the pain (I think there is actually some euphoric feeling from that). Unfortunately it is a cycle and creates more shame than before and therefore more cutting to cope. Where I used to work, cutting was done by over half of the kids I taught (and those are the ones I knew about). Often people will even choose a place on their body that others can't easily see. There is some element of it catching on - in schools, prisons, youth facilities etc if one person is cutting, there are soon more. I think it truly stems from not having adequate emotional attachments to a strong adult. These attachments need to be fostered and developed rather than just trying to treat the symptoms (cutting or depression).

 

[Seymour]

My ISFP ex-fiance cut herself. She had borderline personality disorder (BPD), bulimia and an incredibly negative self-image. I believe self-harm is often associated with BPD, eating disorders and depression (so she kind of hit the trifecta). I always found the idea of harming oneself that way deeply disturbing, even though I've had to deal with depression at various points in my life. It does seem like a way to make emotional pain physical, and seems to provide a sense of control and relief to the individual.

I would suggest that people who cut themselves seek out professional help. BPD, eating disorders and serious depression can all be debilitating and wreak havoc with both work and one's personal life (and likely one's health).

 

[ayoitsStepho]

I cut myself when I was 13-15 I believe. I just know I didnt do it when I began high school. I was in a major pit of depression for those several years. Moving every year to a different school and being picked on by other students really peaked the desire. Being told that you're ugly and a freak at such an age is traumatic. Plus I didnt have a great parental support at that time. My mother had noticed that I was starting to act weird, so she started pushing me away. My dad was never really in the picture, he worked and still does all the time.
So, cutting just became a thing I started to do. I did alot of other things at that point too, but cutting was my problem then.
My parents ended up finding out because things got too extreme [i wont get into that].
But yes, I had to go see a counselor every week for 5 months I believe. I hated it so much. Every piece of information I gave to the counselor was given to mother who in turn scolded me and made me believe I was a liar.

So, its been 4 years since I last cut myself. It gets tempting once in a while, but I try to block it out because it caused alot of other problems for me.

I think if you want to help someone who's cutting, just be a support and show them that you love and care about them. Take them out into the world and just BE there.

 

[SillySapienne]

Self-mutilation is a whole other species of depression, it's masochism in its purest form.

To be hurt by others is one thing, but to hurt yourself, well, that's a whole other bag of beans, beans that you can control, and understand.

To hurt oneself is to find relief, feel a release, and discover a sort of fucked up redemption.

Perhaps you'll only understand it if you do/done it.

 

[jixmixfix]

I masturbate alot when I have alot of anxiety or emotional tension...must be an ISTP thing though...

 

[SillySapienne]

^ Nope, I do that, too.

 

[jixmixfix]

^ Nope, I do that, too.

nice...

 

[ayoitsStepho]

I masturbate alot when I have alot of anxiety or emotional tension...must be an ISTP thing though...

I'm sure thats a heck of alot safer than actually cutting. Why didn't I think of that back then??

 

[SillySapienne]

There is a way to safely burn/cut yourself, fyi.

Also, one can masturbate in excess to the point of hurting oneself.

 

[jixmixfix]

I'm sure thats a heck of alot safer than actually cutting. Why didn't I think of that back then??

 

[SillySapienne]

Come to think of it, there are plenty of ways to safely be a masochist, especially in a safe, and albeit different, loving relationship.



Push, pull...

Feeling insecure, being reassured...

Being willingly hurt then consoled...