What Makes a Person Likeable?

[Biaxident]

To me many things at the same time in the right proportions, depending on what they are and who they are coming from.


Openness is a core trait, as far as I'm concerned. Synarch and I chatted about this a few months ago. Openness is a sign of strength. I dig it.


Again, yes. I like people that have the following traits in some functional measure:

-Genuineness
-Non-Pretentious
-Intelligent (Street Smart AND Book Smart)
-Funny
-Optimistic
-Considerate
-Polite, but NOT Politically Correct
-Motivated
-Self Sufficient
-Of Diverse Experiences
-Inner and Outer Beauty, Pride in The Gifts God Gave Them, but not Narcissists
-Assertive
-Flexible
-Resilient
-Tough (Mentally AND/OR Physically) but Not Mean


I think the role someone is playing in my life is directly dependent on how many of the above criteria must be satisified and to what degree. I am a people lover by default, but the ones that I gravitate to, and choose to keep current with are the ones who have alot of the list above going on. Those are my core folks, my base, my friends and advisors.

Dude. You're missing #2 and #4....

 

[Little Linguist]

What I do not understand is: Why do people have to go through all this *procedure*, and why are people *overwhelmed* by truth? Sure, you need to be discreet, but that does not mean sacrificing truth. No matter what you do, someone is going to be happy, and someone is going to be pissed....

For example, let's say I'm *real* (whatever that means). People who are Fi dom/aux/tert are going to be cheering, whereas Fe dom/aux/tert are going to run screaming into the woods. If I make decisions in a logical, objective way, the Te/Ti dom/aux/tert (?) are going to cheer; whereas Fe/Fi might run screaming into the woods. If I act more deliberately and plan everything, some people will like it; if I act more spontaneously, those same people will dislike it. However, I cannot be objective and subjective at the same time; I cannot be open and closed at the same time; I cannot be deliberate/planned and spontaneous at the same time.

So well, gee...just be yourself, and as long as you do not harm yourself or others, well, if they are mad, let them scratch their mad place.

 

[LotsOfHeart]

Everyone has a different idea of what exactly makes a good person. Some people, although I doubt they'd like to admit it, show more appreciation and care towards people who are jerks and pump fear within them. Others subconsciously enjoy the company of those who abuse them, and yet some others like people who will not bond with them because it makes them feel the most safe.

However, having said all of that, here is my idea of what makes a good person:

-Nice
-Open
-Not condescending
-Welcoming and easy to get along with
-Honest
-Possible to communicate with
-Respect those who respect them

The people I will pretty much invariably have issues are arrogant or condescending people. Or just plain mean people.

 

[kiddykat]

Everyone has a different idea of what exactly makes a good person. Some people, although I doubt they'd like to admit it, show more appreciation and care towards people who are jerks and pump fear within them. Others subconsciously enjoy the company of those who abuse them, and yet some others like people who will not bond with them because it makes them feel the most safe.

Hmm.. why is this so? I think that some people find power more attractive than others? Anyway, some traits in a person I find likeable are:

1. Easy to get along with.
2. Funny
3. Has lots of depth/insight
4. Wise
5. Kiind-hearted
6. Genuine
7. Honest (integrity is key)

In terms of dating.. I need a guy who knows how to dance. Not like Carlton Banks or anything.. Someone who knows how to go with the flow.. Maybe this applies to friends as well..

and

8. Chemistry (we click in some way).

I guess it really does depend on the person.. In general, 1-7 attract me.

 

[Oaky]

What makes a person likable is their ability to satisfy what satisfies you. If you look at a person without knowing them, what will make them likable to you is their expression, how they look (clothes, body structure etc.) and seemingly level of innocence. By this you can determine whether the person is more likable in your favour. Whereas once you start to know them the likability terms change where you start to look at their personality, status, interests, similarities level of respect etc. If they again satisfy you you go in deeper. Once you are their close friend likability changes in terms of their outwards emotions towards you, level of respect towards you, distances, effect on your life and usefulness to adhere to your needs. (whether it be emotions and/or tasks depends on you)

 

[Halla74]

Dude. You're missing #2 and #4....

That's called "Executive Privilege."
You can read about it in my book.

 

[forzen]

I like people who follows my order, aka slave. So if you don't fit that criteria, your doing the whole likeable thing all wrong.

 

[wildcat]

I like people who follows my order, aka slave. So if you don't fit that criteria, your doing the whole likeable thing all wrong.

I take a hike

 

[Gerbah]

Everyone has a different idea of what exactly makes a good person. Some people, although I doubt they'd like to admit it, show more appreciation and care towards people who are jerks and pump fear within them. Others subconsciously enjoy the company of those who abuse them, and yet some others like people who will not bond with them because it makes them feel the most safe.

I agree with this. Having positive qualities like honesty, kindness, etc. doesn't necessarily make a person attractive to another one. To add to the above, people also sometimes appreciate the superficial qualities that will mean you fit into their picture and don't care about who you really are as long as you aren't disturbing their universe.

 

[hermeticdancer]

I find 98% of the time people like that usually end up being fake. and insencere

? What
I don't think so.

Being nice goes a long way. When I lived in Ohio, the first thing I noticed is that people were nicer. The east coast, where im living in New England, people can be rude, it's like they want to know about you, but they are rude about it. --Forget about New Yorkers. That is another topic.
It's nice when someone has manners. When it's fake, or over done that feels uncomfortable.
When the person is straight up hysterical flipping out on you that is psycho.

 

[hermeticdancer]

All the people I like bring something latent out in my personality. I think that's important. Likable people either enhance your good traits or make you feel good about having bad ones.

I agree.

This may have been said before but I think confidence is very very very important. It's easy to not like someone when they don't like themselves either.

I would say self-esteem.

I really dislike cockiness, However not the cock part!

 

[Infidel]

Being unoffendable, being creative, being intelligent, liking all the things you do, agreeing with everything you say, doing everything you want to do, not judging you in any way yet agreeing with all your judgments, just being a constant ego boost generally. The most likeable people sacrifice their own integrity in order to stay liked, which is a shame.

 

[Infidel]

What makes a person likable is their ability to satisfy what satisfies you. If you look at a person without knowing them, what will make them likable to you is their expression, how they look (clothes, body structure etc.) and seemingly level of innocence. By this you can determine whether the person is more likable in your favour. Whereas once you start to know them the likability terms change where you start to look at their personality, status, interests, similarities level of respect etc. If they again satisfy you you go in deeper. Once you are their close friend likability changes in terms of their outwards emotions towards you, level of respect towards you, distances, effect on your life and usefulness to adhere to your needs. (whether it be emotions and/or tasks depends on you)

Yes, this. Who you like will ironically depend more on who you are and what you want, than what the other person is like.