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  1. #11
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    Yes, okay, Effster.

    Are you one of those people who goes up to insomniacs and says "I don't get it myself, I mean I'm always out like a light as soon as my head touches the pillow!"?
    haha...maaaaybe
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  2. #12

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    I was thinking the other day on this whole values thing. If I built a value for thinking like a thinker that would short fuse my feeling. Giving me the ability to change type at will.

    I've tried doing values like that but get blocked massively.

  3. #13
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I was thinking the other day on this whole values thing. If I built a value for thinking like a thinker that would short fuse my feeling. Giving me the ability to change type at will.

    I've tried doing values like that but get blocked massively.
    I'm sorry - did you lapse into a foreign language or some ancient dialect there?
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  4. #14
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Reaction without reading other responses:

    My core values are:

    balance
    confidence
    creativity (but working on that one - it does not come naturally)
    discipline (working on that one as well - in some areas good, others not)
    education (BIGGGGGG)
    family
    financial security (minor as compared with others, but still necessary)
    freedom
    fulfillment
    growth
    health (only because it is necessary)
    honesty
    independence
    integrity
    kindness (sometimes, depending on if the person is an asshole or not)
    knowledge (BIG)
    marriage (because I'm married)
    peace of mind (good)
    reason (lack of reason is crap)
    self-reliance
    success
    truth
    wisdom (good but need to work on that)
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  5. #15
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    the idea that someone wouldn't base decisions on their values completely baffles me!
    I found it useful to think of my values as what I think is worth doing.

    And of course once I know what is worlth doing then I can start to work out how to do it.

    So far, what I think is worth doing is learning mutual empathy, learning mutual creativity and mutual dance.

    And then the next interesting question is, how can I do these three worthwhile things?

    And so far, I haven't figured out how to do these things but I have found some things that hinder or stop me.

    One of the interesting things hindering me is a strong negative emotional reactiion when I do what I want to do. Psychologists call this the abreaction. And it is a sign I am moving in the right direction. But it is most important to listen to the abreaction and understand it.

    The second thing that hinders me is conflict with other people. And I think conflict with others is part of my abraction. And I am learing to avoid conflict and instead listen to and understand my own feelings.

    And knowing what is worthwhile for me helps me deal with and understand those things that hinder or stop me.

    In other words, it is a great help to pursue those things that are worthwhile for me, even through difficulties.

  6. #16
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Little Linguist - that's way too many to be just your CORE values! You need to do this part:

    5. If you have more than five values, eliminate some. Think hard about what you truly value in life. Put a star by the values youre sure about. Then take the ones that you feel are important, but arent sure if theyre top 5 material, and put them in pairs. Think about two of those values side by side, and ask yourself which of the two is more important. Then eliminate the other. Keep pitting the survivors against each other until youre down to 5. If some of the values you listed are just two words describing the same idea. Combine them.
    Anyway, to me those things just look like a list of virtues or qualities... I don't get what makes something a value... I mean you have to value it, obviously, but surely all of us value good things to some extent or other, and then have our own favourite good things? Does that mean "core values" is another way of saying "my favourite good things out of all the good things there are that I know of"??

    But anyway, I've thought of another one for me: authenticity.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  7. #17

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    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    I'm sorry - did you lapse into a foreign language or some ancient dialect there?
    haha, maybe a little. I don't know what my values are really. And listing them seems really foreign to me.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    haha, maybe a little. I don't know what my values are really. And listing them seems really foreign to me.
    Well my dear Wolfy, you are a foreigner living in a foreign country so it seems entirely appropriate that you find listing your values to be foreign.

    Good grief Wolfy, you values probably are foreign to your hosts.

    Heavens Wolfy, you are probably turning Japanese and becoming foreign, even to yourself.

    You may find yourself waking screaming in the night at the thought that there is a foreigner in bed with you - yourself.

  9. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    Well my dear Wolfy, you are a foreigner living in a foreign country so it seems entirely appropriate that you find listing your values to be foreign.

    Good grief Wolfy, you values probably are foreign to your hosts.

    Heavens Wolfy, you are probably turning Japanese and becoming foreign, even to yourself.

    You may find yourself waking screaming in the night at the thought that there is a foreigner in bed with you - yourself.
    I imagine if I dug deep enough I'd find some values foreign to the host.
    I find it very mechanical to go through my values. It feels very unnatural.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I imagine if I dug deep enough I'd find some values foreign to the host.
    I find it very mechanical to go through my values. It feels very unnatural.
    In that case I advise you to wait.

    Waiting for the right moment is very Japanese. So I think you should follow the lead of those around you and wait.

    In the meantime you may practise tatemae and honne, exquisite Japanese values.

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