User Tag List

First 2345 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 46

  1. #31
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    Therapy has not worked out for me because
    *I don't like taking an hour off from work and going to talk about stuff that gets me all worked up and then ding ding, the hour is over, and I have to act like nothing happened.
    *One therapist hounded me, calling me up at work, when I occasionally had to cancel, not understanding that sometimes work stuff would come up and there was nothing I could do about it. I realized and accused him that it was because he missed me, and he admitted it. He got attached to me. That made me angry. The last thing I needed just then was another person making emotional demands.
    *Someone else mentioned having to repeat yourself, the therapist very obviously not remembering the last conversation or last few conversations...I tried to solve this with another therapist by making a notebook with pictures of everyone I am close to or related to, like, a picture of my mom, and underneath it said "Mom," a picture of my boyfriend, and underneath it said Joe, Boyfriend. She still would ask me, "Now who is this you're talking about?" The last time she did it, I asked her if she would please review the notes I gave her. She said they were in another file. I said you keep one file on me on your lap and you have another file on me somewhere else? Where is it? Why do you keep two files? ... she didn't have another file. It didn't seem too much to ask for her to take 30 seconds and scan her notes before I came in. I prepared for her but I didn't feel she prepared for me.
    *Bad meds management -- I brought in my prescription bottles so she could copy straight off the labels and there would be no confusion. She later prescribed other stuff on top of that. I was so spacey I couldn't remember anything 30 seconds after it was said to me. I complained to her and she said to stay with it. I was obedient for two more weeks, finally I stopped taking what she had prescribed. When I told her I'd discontinued taking that med, she lectured me that she was in charge of medicines and she was the one who should say when to stop and start, etc. But in that conversation it came out that she had not realized I was already taking a similar medication when I came to her. She said she didn't remember that because she didn't prescribe it (my primary care physician did). Again, she didn't look at my chart/file before she made the prescription.

    Basically, it's too much work. Really all I wanted was someone I could speak to in complete confidence who would give me a little sympathy, and something to help me stay on an even keel while I got through the changes I had to go through.

    This reminds me of the time my stepfather and I were walking on rocks out into the ocean, and the rocks felt a little slippery to me and I asked for his hand. He grabbed my whole wrist. I really just wanted my fingertips in his hand. Therapy seems like that to me. It's this big pain in the ass/rigamarole when all I need is virtually nothing.

    But Economica, you said this guy, aside from being annoying and not moving along once you'd reflected that you were following, pointed out to you a symptom of your disease, do you realize? or has anyone else said? -- unrealistic goals/perfectionism, higher expectations of yourself than is reasonable -- that's a part of narcissism, isn't it?

    ETA: Jesus, this is a long post, sorry.

  2. #32
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/so
    Posts
    1,565

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    Therapy has not worked out for me because
    *I don't like taking an hour off from work and going to talk about stuff that gets me all worked up and then ding ding, the hour is over, and I have to act like nothing happened.
    *One therapist hounded me, calling me up at work, when I occasionally had to cancel, not understanding that sometimes work stuff would come up and there was nothing I could do about it. I realized and accused him that it was because he missed me, and he admitted it. He got attached to me. That made me angry. The last thing I needed just then was another person making emotional demands.
    *Someone else mentioned having to repeat yourself, the therapist very obviously not remembering the last conversation or last few conversations...I tried to solve this with another therapist by making a notebook with pictures of everyone I am close to or related to, like, a picture of my mom, and underneath it said "Mom," a picture of my boyfriend, and underneath it said Joe, Boyfriend. She still would ask me, "Now who is this you're talking about?" The last time she did it, I asked her if she would please review the notes I gave her. She said they were in another file. I said you keep one file on me on your lap and you have another file on me somewhere else? Where is it? Why do you keep two files? ... she didn't have another file. It didn't seem too much to ask for her to take 30 seconds and scan her notes before I came in. I prepared for her but I didn't feel she prepared for me.
    *Bad meds management -- I brought in my prescription bottles so she could copy straight off the labels and there would be no confusion. She later prescribed other stuff on top of that. I was so spacey I couldn't remember anything 30 seconds after it was said to me. I complained to her and she said to stay with it. I was obedient for two more weeks, finally I stopped taking what she had prescribed. When I told her I'd discontinued taking that med, she lectured me that she was in charge of medicines and she was the one who should say when to stop and start, etc. But in that conversation it came out that she had not realized I was already taking a similar medication when I came to her. She said she didn't remember that because she didn't prescribe it (my primary care physician did). Again, she didn't look at my chart/file before she made the prescription.

    [...]
    Wow, your therapist sounds terrible (no offense). First of all, a good therapist should leave enough time for you to collect yourself and pull yourself back together at a end of a session (especially if you are going back to work). Of course, it's not ALWAYS practical, but not leaving time should only happen rarely when you are in midst of a break-through and cutting things would be counter-productive. Your defenses exist for a reason, and having them in working order when you head out the door is good.

    She also sounds really unprepared. Many therapists are perceivers (some are INFPs, in fact), but sounds like she wasn't even taking two minutes to look over her notes before each session. Having to remind your therapist about who someone is or a previous conversation doesn't seem unreasonable in itself, though. I'm sure they hear about lots of people third-hand, and really they are primarily concerned about what those people mean to you. Making a chart was actually a pretty clever way to deal with that issue... sorry it didn't work. She should definitely have been taking notes, especially when she saw that you were bothered by her not remembering.

    When you were talking about being hounded for missing sessions, I was first taking it with a grain of salt. Often people miss sessions because the therapy is approaching some threatening material, so the therapist would be remiss not to follow up on that. While therapists are human, too, sounds like the hounding therapist has entirely lost objectivity.

    And finally... not paying attention to what meds you are already on is horrible and could be life threatening. It's a problem in medicine in general, but sounds like she didn't even do a basic review before putting you on something new.

    Anyway, I'm appalled and sorry to hear you've had such negative experiences. I've worked with a couple of therapists, and they were both significantly better than what you described.

  3. #33
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    2,054

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    But Economica, you said this guy, aside from being annoying and not moving along once you'd reflected that you were following, pointed out to you a symptom of your disease, do you realize? or has anyone else said? -- unrealistic goals/perfectionism, higher expectations of yourself than is reasonable -- that's a part of narcissism, isn't it?
    For sure, narcissists project a Grandiose Self that is unreasonable, and I know I suffer a lot on account of being shamefully aware that my current work reality, respectable as it is, does not live up to my fantasies of achievement (see this blog post for elaboration). However, the motivation I was trying to convey to the therapist was more like:

    Quote Originally Posted by Economica to her therapist
    Even though it is in my enlightened self-interest to treat my loved ones right (so I can enjoy healthy relationships with individuals who are my equals) and to act with integrity (so I can stand to look myself in the mirror), I find myself a slave to the pursuit of short-term ego gain from betraying love and integrity. Time and again I hurt others and disappoint myself. It is terrifying not to feel in control and frustrating not to understand why. I sometimes find myself wishing my repression were still fully functional that I might go back to denying the facts. What is the use of continuing to take this beating from reality? Will I ever come out on top? Who is John Galt?
    (Err... Sorry, Ayn Rand's name has come up a lot lately. )

    Then I gave some examples of situations where I had acted against what I knew to be my own long-term self-interest. And then the therapist insistently rationalized those examples. I won't recount the examples I gave him; you'll just have to take my word for it that he was justifying clearly destructive behavior. I got the impression that he was simply unable to entertain the notion that this polite, pleasant, self-aware young woman coming to him for help was a dangerous individual to get close to.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    Ah, now I get it. I hate it when they don't believe you.

  5. #35
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    6,050

    Default

    I don't see psychoanalytic approaches as very useful. If I were a psychiatrist or psychologist, I would want to approach nearly every problem by starting with brain function, and then working up to a more abstract level to include cognitive behavioral therapy. One big focus of CBT is to bring automatic, nonconscious thoughts into conscious awareness where they can be evaluated rationally before they affect us. This approach seemed to work well with my self-administered therapy anyway.

  6. #36
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4sop
    Socionics
    IEE
    Posts
    1,505

    Default

    I had a good experience but I am too proud to credit her with how much I have improved and changed mentally and emotionally. I am very analytical on my own and take great pride in figuring myself out and connecting dots and etc. She helped me by guiding me to explore the past and she gave strong opinions/judgment that helped. I had a very hard time admitting to the fact that my mother was emotionally abusive to me even though vaguely I knew that. So she said very clearly that my mother is jealous of the opportunities that I have now and etc and etc. But she didn't go overboard, she was my voice of reason and she helped me a lot. Okay, yes, she helped me a lot but a large part of therapy is also self-analysis and cooperation with your guider.

  7. #37
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    6w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    ILI Ni
    Posts
    1,092

    Default

    I went to see a therapist when I was 16.

    It was absolutely horrible.

    My parents sent me there because I was pushing back and they didn't like it. I was seeing a boy they didn't like. They rarely allowed me to see friends, never allowed company over, were not sympathetic to the problems I thought I had and told me to shut up and suck it up when I was depressed. So I started sneaking out at night to have some semblence of a social life and talked to anyone who would listen about my family situation, which was a huge no-no to them. Talking to others about family business was absolutely not allowed. Probably because they didn't want the social workers called.

    They were using therapy as a sort of punishment to say there was something wrong with me.

    My therapist was a moron.

    My parents always insisted on family sessions. I was never alone with my therapist. My mother was always there. Even my sister was there sometimes. I was never free to talk, meaning that I could never tell my therapist what was actually going on in my house. The woman was too stupid to catch on to the power play that was going on. She always told me to feel free to say anything I wanted because we were in a safe space, but that was not a safe damn space. I still had to go home with those people and I was either yelled at or given the silent treatment for the things I told the therapist if they didn't like what I said. When I did get one whole session alone with the woman, her questions were very confrontational and accusatory, meaning she'd already bought into the skewed perspective of my parents, making her useless to me.

    The therapist enrolled me into a teen therapy group she ran, and my mother always berated me before I got there and when I got out she would ask me things like "So, what horrible things have you told them about your mother this time?"

    I couldn't even talk in the group. I felt too uncomfortable and self-conscious being emotionally open with a bunch of strangers.

    They tried to put me on anti-depressants. I refused, saying that I didn't have a damn chemical imbalance, my family just sucked. Of course, I was belittled by my parents for being difficult and not doing what the therapist told me.

    In retrospect, I should have asked the psychiatrist who would have prescribed the medication to be my therapist. She caught on to the way I clammed up with my mother in the room and asked her to leave so we could talk. But, I was 16 and didn't know I could do that.

    Really, it was all treated more like an intervention than real therapy. It was a very them vs me attitude.

    I know that real therapy in a real safe environment is a wonderful thing, but my experience was just traumatic.

  8. #38
    Senior Member sofmarhof's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    327

    Default

    The one time I went to a therapist, I couldn't get past how obviously her training showed in the way she conducted a conversation. As in she had clearly been taught to talk in a very specific and unnatural way. Actually, my psych major sister, who has not even trained to be a therapist, has shown this tendency since she became a psych major. She's my best friend but I cannot go to her for advice.

  9. #39
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    18,537

    Default

    Apparently rapport is necessary for successful therapy. So if rapport is not established by one therapist, it is sensible to try another.

  10. #40
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    36

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by proximo View Post
    That sounds extremely familiar. I don't know what they hope to achieve with that kind of crap. I suppose it all sounds very PC and that they're afraid to be accused of railroading you or putting words into your mouth. Some of them don't want to be in a position where you can say they "made" you do or say things you didn't want to or feel ready for; I suspect that's what's behind that approach, a lot of the time.

    I mean, it might work for someone who's in tune with their feelings and stuff like that, who can think in advance and plan things like that. But I can't see any T being able to do that very well at all - especially not early on in the treatment - and I can't imagine it suiting a P either.

    A counsellor I know tells me that sometimes people pitch up, knowing they just need help, but their brain's a total mess and they don't have a clue where to start - that's why they came to her. She says it's her job, with people like that, to help them figure out what's eating them and why. It seems some therapists take it for granted that everyone knows what's bothering them for starters, and that they just want help with techniques of solving it.
    Along similar lines my therapist used to ask me what I hoped to get out of therapy or why I was there. That used to piss me right off. What a massive waste of my time and money asking why I was there. If I've had 10 sessions and your asking why I've come to see you then that leaves me thinking we are obvioulsy not getting anywhere so yeah why am I here wasting my money with you? I've ended therapy over that question.

    Now if they asked me what had bothered me in the last week or month that might have been helpful. They might actually be doing their job then ie getting the required info out of me instead leading me astray with a question I can't answer. It also pisses me off when they can't remember what we spoke about at the last session. Then they say to me your not talking enough. I'm an introvert. And I'm a T. I'm not going to change personalities to fit in with psychotherapy. They should know that. This is where they should say, do you prefer to communicate in writing? how would you feel about keeping a journal? Obviously thats not hard to work out since more than one person here has thought of that. OK.... breathing now. Just *laughs*.

    Having vented I did have a really good therapist once. Although I eventually hit a brick wall due to, ugh , developing some feelings which then meant I withheld information. I should of just said how I felt but thats too hard.

    Anyway he obviously read his notes. It was great to have someone to talk to who gave me what I paid for 'listening to me objectively and keeping my interests at heart'. He helped me understand myself better and I felt understood and not judged. He could of done some things better however I value what I've taken away from those sessions because they are valuable life skills and he sped up my progress. He actually managed to get me to ramble about some subconscious thoughts I wasn't aware I was having until they just slipped out which to me is proof he was good at his job. I miss having a person like that in my life. Took some bad therapists to find him though.

Similar Threads

  1. [MBTItm] NFP's - What are you experiences with ISTJ?
    By Santosha in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 01-30-2012, 03:59 PM
  2. FJs: What are your relationships like with other FJs?
    By proteanmix in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 11-10-2008, 03:08 PM
  3. Replies: 20
    Last Post: 04-28-2007, 06:40 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO