Therapy has not worked out for me because
*I don't like taking an hour off from work and going to talk about stuff that gets me all worked up and then ding ding, the hour is over, and I have to act like nothing happened.
*One therapist hounded me, calling me up at work, when I occasionally had to cancel, not understanding that sometimes work stuff would come up and there was nothing I could do about it. I realized and accused him that it was because he missed me, and he admitted it. He got attached to me. That made me angry. The last thing I needed just then was another person making emotional demands.
*Someone else mentioned having to repeat yourself, the therapist very obviously not remembering the last conversation or last few conversations...I tried to solve this with another therapist by making a notebook with pictures of everyone I am close to or related to, like, a picture of my mom, and underneath it said "Mom," a picture of my boyfriend, and underneath it said Joe, Boyfriend. She still would ask me, "Now who is this you're talking about?" The last time she did it, I asked her if she would please review the notes I gave her. She said they were in another file. I said you keep one file on me on your lap and you have another file on me somewhere else? Where is it? Why do you keep two files? ... she didn't have another file. It didn't seem too much to ask for her to take 30 seconds and scan her notes before I came in. I prepared for her but I didn't feel she prepared for me.
*Bad meds management -- I brought in my prescription bottles so she could copy straight off the labels and there would be no confusion. She later prescribed other stuff on top of that. I was so spacey I couldn't remember anything 30 seconds after it was said to me. I complained to her and she said to stay with it. I was obedient for two more weeks, finally I stopped taking what she had prescribed. When I told her I'd discontinued taking that med, she lectured me that she was in charge of medicines and she was the one who should say when to stop and start, etc. But in that conversation it came out that she had not realized I was already taking a similar medication when I came to her. She said she didn't remember that because she didn't prescribe it (my primary care physician did). Again, she didn't look at my chart/file before she made the prescription.
Basically, it's too much work. Really all I wanted was someone I could speak to in complete confidence who would give me a little sympathy, and something to help me stay on an even keel while I got through the changes I had to go through.
This reminds me of the time my stepfather and I were walking on rocks out into the ocean, and the rocks felt a little slippery to me and I asked for his hand. He grabbed my whole wrist. I really just wanted my fingertips in his hand. Therapy seems like that to me. It's this big pain in the ass/rigamarole when all I need is virtually nothing.
But Economica, you said this guy, aside from being annoying and not moving along once you'd reflected that you were following, pointed out to you a symptom of your disease, do you realize? or has anyone else said? -- unrealistic goals/perfectionism, higher expectations of yourself than is reasonable -- that's a part of narcissism, isn't it?
ETA: Jesus, this is a long post, sorry.