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  1. #41
    Senior Member Synapse's Avatar
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    Yes. Been on both ends.

    A girl I was friends with took her life because she couldn't deal with her nightmare mother, her mother was abusive and treated her badly. Made me understand her desperation to wanting out having been born into such a family not unlike my parallel.

    A friend of a friend took his life too. I talked to that friend and said at the time I think about it all the time but won't since its in conflict with who I am. Some 15 years of wanting to, many attempts without telling anyone, and having to face a nightmare father daily helped. Voluntarily sought help often without getting any help, pills included. I'm amazed I pulled through actually.

    Five years ago I said if I live long enough life has got to balance, if I only live long enough and it is finally. At the end of the day I had to learn that the thoughts were a medical state that professionals continued to undiagnose me for so I went alternative. And learned the extent to why I was feeling like this besides a dysfunctional life. Its taken a long while to have a positive peer group and working away from my family. I can understand completely why people do this. And know it is the bodies response to a deficit from other than serotonin 9 times out of 10, the serotonin being leached out from disruption.

    The people that are the most serious will almost never tell you and just do it. The people that aren't will say things that will indicate their distress. Men are more final about this then women since its a hormonal thing. Ironically having underactive thyroids stopped me from taking my life since I lacked initiative. Am I glad I lived long enough, depends, I guess I chose to live since I'm still here so I must be glad.

  2. #42
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    My cousin.

    He had ADD and dyslexia, he wasn't diagnosed when he was at school so didn't receive the right kind of help or attention and got mixed up in drugs. He was 21.

  3. #43

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    I had a good friend who tried a couple of times. Both times, I helped him out. When I look back now, I'm surprised how much I took it in my stride.

  4. #44
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    I think it is a sickness....

    Suicidal Tendencies Suicide's an Alternative Lyrics:

    Sick of people - no ones real
    Sick of chicks - they're all bitches
    Sick of you - you're to hip
    Sick of life - it sucks

    Suicide's an alternative

    Sick of trying - what's the point
    Sick of talking - no one listens
    Sick of listening - its all lies
    Sick of thinking - just end up confused
    Sick of moving - never get nowhere
    Sick of myself - don't wanna live
    Sick and tired - and no one cares
    Sick of life - it sucks

    Sick of politics - for the rich
    Sick of power - only oppresses
    Sick of government - full of tyrants
    Sick of school - total brainwash
    Sick of music - top 40 sucks
    Sick of myself - don't wanna live
    Sick and tired - and no one cares
    Sick of life - it sucks

    Suicide's an alternative
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  5. #45
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Yeah, I have known one at least...actually, the first guy I dated. We only went out for a couple of months, there weren't deep feelings involved (on either side, I think) and I'd lost contact with him for a couple of years, so it certainly had nothing to do with me. And in a way it didn't touch my life deeply but it was certainly a blow. I was very, very shocked and saddened. He'd had serious depression issues, I was already aware of that. I think a lot of things hadn't worked out too well in his life, there was a history of physical abuse in his childhood, etc and it all became too much. But in a way, I never really knew him that well (though he opened up a fair amount when we dated) so hard to say.

    I've known families who've lost someone to suicide, too, but I think he was probably the only one I knew personally. Partly due to that experience, and to having had at least a couple of close friends who have been suicidal, I am much less judgmental about it than I used to be. It is a terrible thing to do but people who choose it have generally reached a point of such sadness, and are not well, and judging doesn't help anyone.
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  6. #46
    Ghost Monkey Soul Vizconde's Avatar
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    ^ Wow, you must have been a dreadful first date.
    I redact everything I have written or will write on this forum prior to, subsequent with and or after the fact of its writing. For entertainment purposes only and not to be taken seriously nor literally.

    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    Spamtar - a strange combination of boorish drunkeness and erudite discussions, or what I call "an Irish academic"

  7. #47
    Was E.laur Laurie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    If that's the case, I think it's just as selfish for other people to expect a person to continue living just so that they won't have to deal with the loss...
    Jennifer, I have to address this. My father (ISTJ) always told us that suicide is selfish. I never really understood it but I have had down times where I thought about it - I ended up getting depression meds. I don't want to leave the people in my life to deal with how hard life is, while actually dealing with my suicide too. Thinking about it being selfish can really get the thoughts off how bad YOUR life is and focus on the people you would be hurting if you did something. It's really not about someone else being selfish to keep you around. It's refocusing your thoughts off yourself.
    /OT

    One of my brother's youth group leaders he was VERY close to committed suicide years later. My brother was very messed up about it for a long time. I'm sure this guy didn't think anyone cared, but I saw what it did to my brother.

  8. #48
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ayoitsStepho View Post
    I don't mean to offend, I'm only sharing my experience with my situation with myself. How I realised I was being selfish and not thinking about others. How the only thing running through my head was me and how I'd be done wrong. I'm not talking about anyone else, I'm talking about me.

    I do not want to offend I understand all of that. I just hope you understand I wasn't trying to say that people are selfish. I was just trying to say I was selfish.
    I'm not offended at you personally, but I felt a strong need to clarify what you said... because you DIDN'T say you were selfish, you made a very broad statement saying everyone who considered or committed suicide was selfish:

    ...Its true...even after what I did, I've come to the point in my life, where I realise that suicide is a selfish act. You worries about yourself and the only thing on your mind is you and YOUR problems. Even I know that there are times where you just wanna be so selfish in all that because we feel we have a right...but from what I've learned, when you take the the view off of yourself and put it on others, you start to view life differently.
    If you don't meant to make such a broad statement and mean to talk about yourself, it's better to use the pronoun "I" rather than "you" and "we" and say that "suicide is a selfish act." You pretty clearly stated it was selfish, and I think that only applies to some of the situations.

    Thanks for clarifying what you meant.

    Quote Originally Posted by krunchtime View Post
    ... The commonality is that both denies, rather than address and/or resolve the issues or problems.
    Yup, that is really it. The problem never gets addressed, both sides (the suicider and the people around him or her) are trying to get what they feel they need or want without really considering the feelings and needs of others.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #49
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Jennifer, I have to address this. My father (ISTJ) always told us that suicide is selfish. I never really understood it but I have had down times where I thought about it - I ended up getting depression meds. I don't want to leave the people in my life to deal with how hard life is, while actually dealing with my suicide too. Thinking about it being selfish can really get the thoughts off how bad YOUR life is and focus on the people you would be hurting if you did something. It's really not about someone else being selfish to keep you around. It's refocusing your thoughts off yourself.
    /OT

    One of my brother's youth group leaders he was VERY close to committed suicide years later. My brother was very messed up about it for a long time. I'm sure this guy didn't think anyone cared, but I saw what it did to my brother.
    The bold portion struck me. I had a suicidal family member during my college years, but fortunately he never went through with it. The thinking patterns that lead to suicidal thoughts can focus inward until everything disappears except for that inner pain. Often the increased personal pain is accompanied by a dismissal of others' pain, even when the person is incredibly kind-hearted by nature. Part of this is probably related to chemical imbalances and physiology that can be potentially measured and corrected, but sometimes working on healthy thinking patterns can also help realign the body and emotions.

    It was a helpless feeling trying to communicate with someone who had that level of depression for so long. I have no idea if anything I did helped or not. He told me on an almost daily basis that nothing I did helped, and yet he sought me out almost daily to talk. That depression consumed much of my life since it took a lot of my emotional energy. I don't regret it though, since he was family. One of the worst nights of my life I got a call from the guys' dean saying his suicide note was found. I didn't have a car, but remembered one way he said he wanted to die at a location downtown. I ran into the parking lot and begged a ride off the first person I saw. For some reason she starting yelling at me how I should have gotten him help. She didn't really know either of us. It turned out he was in the library studying. For some strange reason, when there is suffering or crises, people have to place blame and punish. I've never entirely understood that since there are so many things that happen outside anyone's control.

    There is a way that depression fragments a sense of reality and can completely eliminate any sense of empathy. Depending on the context, a suicide can absolutely destroy other people's lives. The responsibility of that can be placed wherever people choose, but that action can produce that result of destruction for others as well. Because of the types of illness internally that can produce it, it is different from selfish behavior, but it does parallel it in that same sort of blindness to everything except self even in the kindest and most caring of people.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

    I want to be just like my mother, even if she is bat-shit crazy.

  10. #50
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    ^ Wow, you must have been a dreadful first date.
    errrrrrgggghhh...that was a bit tasteless.
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