Wait! Are you admitting you have poor interpersonal skills or something? Now that's worthy of a
One man's poverty is another man's wealth.
I don't have any problem with what you've said here, but I think you may have glossed over the fact that I said my boss is more more than likely a high-functioning autistic. My whole point was this is not "typical" miscommunication issues and hence my evaluation of the situation. I can deal with differences in communication styles, but when a person's thinking and communication is clouded by a developmental disability wouldn't you say that qualifies as extenuating circumstances that change the typical modes of communication?
Are you asking me to justify your assessment of her as an inferior person to you? I don't see how that helps either of you. I don't see that it matters whether it's typical or not. And it seems to me that her developmental disability is mere hearsay. You have said that her supervisors are pleased with her work, so her "disability" isn't proving to be much of a disability. In any event, the principle still applies. But I don't think we are ever going to agree on this.
Originally Posted by Ivy
Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.
Are you asking me to justify your assessment of her as an inferior person to you?
I was waiting for that convenient twisting of words you do so well.
...But I don't think we are ever going to agree on this.
Yeah, you're right. Not much more to say.
Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship. Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts Social Penetration Theory 1 Social Penetration Theory 2 Social Penetration Theory 3
I'm happy for the discussion that has started. So far, many views have been expressed.
-Many people feel it's natural for anyone to have an instinctual idea of someone/something as "better" or "worse"
-Many have expressed doubt if such a habit is useful for evaluating people objectively
-F/T, as well as J/P have been both suspected and denied as factors to explain this tendency
-People generally value their subjective right to evaluate people
-At least one person noted the idea that attributes may be evaluated as better and worse
-Many people expressed the idea that we have multiple skills and attributes, and we are probably higher on some of them and lower than some of them compared to any given person.
-Many people applied the idea of better/worse to deciding whether to associate with said person.
-Being on a same developmental level is seen as a positive factor of compatibility.
-A minority opinion holds that even the attributes deemed as "bad" by the majority are just an alternative, and not bad or good per se
-There was an idea that "better and worse" is just a shorthand for deciding whether to use it or not, as applied to objects in general. Thus it is more of an pragmatic rather than a moral evaluation.
-The need to handle the specific situations with the disabled and disadvantaged was acknowledged.
-In one opinion, the concept of bad and good was applied to transaction, as opposed to persons.
-Many people expressed worry for this kind of ordering scheme, fearing it exhibits elitism, discrimination or prejudice by arbitrary factors
These are just my interpretations of the discussion. Might have missed some.
Edit: No, I don't think the truth is as simple as just a list of the opinions being said. I guess I just did this to make a note for myself to follow the discussion.
I don't know what causes the thinking described in the OP, but it's pretty foreign to me.
The few times I do evaluate a person's attributes by rank it is probably a fairly specific skill set I have in mind, so most people would be in the "doesn't qualify" category. I'm not sure what it would be like to try to constantly rank everyone as better/worse in every way. That would take too much effort from me that I'd rather spend in other ways.
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Yes, I have thought about this a lot recently, too.
It was brought on by hanging with a few metric tonnes of SPs of bad grade.
I'm not hanging out with them anymore, since they don't have any sense of right and wrong, appreciation or of loyalty.
Besides that, most of them are acting in a way that is not fit for adults.
And they drink too much.
I always looked out for them. Organized stuff. Even came over with ****ing soup, ciggarettes and coke a few times when a particular ESTP was ill a few times.
Besides that, I showed loyalty in a few tight spots and took their sides in arguments even while not really, really agreeing with them.
That's just fragments. I went far beyond the call of duty for at least two of them, and the rest I treated friendly.
What did I get in return? Lots of effort and a few good parties and being let down by those idiots.
Be sure that I will never, ever again override my prejudices and my gut feeling.
I normally just know if someone is good or bad, in these cases... Well, I just chose not to listen to it because it was convenient.
Now i'm definitely grading people. I don't think much of most people I meet.
They all seem to have a big flaw here, a big flaw there...
I notice and pay attention to character flaws a hell of a lot more nowadays.
But, i'd say about 10% of everyone I meet are decent in most regards.
I don't think about it consciously, but there are a few things that must check out.
Morals and loyalty
Being fair and nice towards the people that deserve it
Showing appreciation enough for efforts
Intelligence and wit
Emotional warmth for the people who deserve it
If a person does not have those. Not my friend. Maybe acquaintance... Never more.
Big surprise that both of my best friends are ENFJs?
In all, most everyone I hang out with or like a lot falls under xNxJ.
Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come