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  1. #11
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Well I do categorize people in some way but my natural way is different from yours (Santuu). It's more like: makes my day better-makes my day worse. Gives me a lousy mood-makes me have fun. Is happy-is unhappy. Has a positive outlook on life-has a negative outlook on life. If a person fits all the negative criteria at any given time...well, I'll likely avoid hanging out with him/her. Sometimes though my criteria can be "weird"...for example there are some people that I know that are introverted and have a bit of a dark humor/seem not to talk much, but I like hanging out with them anyway, so there is no objective standard for my judgement, it's more an instinctual impression. I have a friend that is a bit like type #1 in your list, my girlfriend always asks me how can I be friends with him; I don't know, I just like his dumb jokes, his negativity is sometimes funny to my eyes, and I suppose he also enjoys the fact that I like it since he calls me to go out. On the other hand there are some guys that are really successful in their lives but that I consider as dumber than me, slow, just hard-working for nothing, not physically fit - in that case I will treat them like dirt and consider them inferior...but I don't feel guilty for it. I don't know how it works in my mind, really.

    If I categorize people in terms of better/worse, I do it only a really specific task, like I know some of my friends are faster than me, some others have more endurance, etc. so for example if I want to go for a long hike I will likely ask my friends that have a good endurance and like/are good at that type of activity.

    Competitive element? I don't think about it in my day-to-day life, I only become competitive when I'm in the processo of a race, test, or whatever. And I don't like it, because I feel like I lose friends whenever I am competitive (I have an on-off switch, nothing inbetween, cannot be modulated).
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #12
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Think about it this way:

    People yes, deserve equal opportunity, but not everyone will get equal results. You can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

    You can't save everyone. Their attitudes are often permanently toxic and can corrupt you from being productive yourself and ultimately harm you if you dig too deeply into them. You've just got to learn to quit at some point if it's not your job to keep going (psychologist, pastor, etc.).

    These people are not worse than I am, per se, because perhaps they have grown up in conditions that are conducive to the kind of self-destructive behavior you say, but I can recognize them as a bad influence on me. Therefore, I do not associate with them.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  3. #13
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    I score people similarly, but I generally assume it has to do with my own fear of not measuring up and that it will go away as I become a more evolved and whole person. On that same note; I think society as a whole, an entity to itself (both eastern and western) with it's lack of heart and constant pragmatism, does this to everyone. It asks "what can you give me? what value do you have? why shouldn't I let you die?"
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
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  4. #14
    morose bourgeoisie
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    I don't catagorize people in that way. For instance, if a person is not as adept a musician as I, I don't globally think of them as defective, beneath me, or 'bad'. I think the desire to do so is based on the demands of your ego, and those are usually something to be overcome or desposed of, imo.

  5. #15
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    Couldn't a person be egalitarian where laws are concerned, but also know that people aren't created equal in regards to looks/intelligence/resources?

  6. #16
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    Think about it this way:

    People yes, deserve equal opportunity, but not everyone will get equal results. You can bring a horse to water but you can't make him drink.

    You can't save everyone. Their attitudes are often permanently toxic and can corrupt you from being productive yourself and ultimately harm you if you dig too deeply into them. You've just got to learn to quit at some point if it's not your job to keep going (psychologist, pastor, etc.).

    These people are not worse than I am, per se, because perhaps they have grown up in conditions that are conducive to the kind of self-destructive behavior you say, but I can recognize them as a bad influence on me. Therefore, I do not associate with them.
    Gosh, you're so like wonderfully precocious. And I think I've told you that.

    I didn't interpret the OP as believing I have more worth than another human being. I thought about it in terms as trying to have a realistic assessment of another person and if in that assessment you can tell something's not quite right. I've worked with people like Santtu described and they will twist you into their net and if you don't play along with them you're an enemy.

    I encountered a similar problem although I still don't know what to make of it. I've been told by two people that my boss is a high-functioning autistic. I have never known if it's true or a really nasty rumor but I could tell within my first three months of working with her something was really off. And for a long time, I thought I was very slow at learning my job because the way she did things I couldn't understand why they were (and are) done the way they were but she insisted the procedures made sense. It was after a coworker saw a heated exchange between my boss and I that she told me what she knew. Another person told me as well nearly a year after that, but it may have come from the same source so I'm not sure if it's true. And I would never go up to my boss and ask "Are you autistic?"

    If it is true, I think had I known upfront that she was I may have declined to work with her. It's created many communication problems and a stressful work environment. Most people avoid her in my department, but the division and deputy directors love/use her because she works like a mule. Because she's such a good worker, they overlook the problems she's had with others. I'm the longest person to stay in my position, which is now three years. She's not a bad person, but I would prefer not to have to work so closely with someone who has these types of issues. So I would disagree somewhat with the lack of social development not being an issue because it depends on what your relationship is to that person.

    So that's my example of a "better than, worse than" transaction that I would rank myself as "above."
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
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  7. #17
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    But ranking others as "better" or "worse" is purely subjective based upon what your standards are. What is great to one person might be intolerable to another. Even people who are disabled or lack conventional strengths may have mad skills in some area that you lack. You're going to hate my leftest point of view, but yeah, people are just different - and the older I get, the more I see that people I might have labeled "less than" at one point in my life actually are just different from what my expectations are, or they surprisingly shine in some area that I don't.

    For example, a nervous person would drive you up the wall. You see them as weak or something. I see people who are hyper-logical, over-driven, and lacking empathy as "less than" sometimes. You might think those are the best people. I think they're some of the worst.

    It's all relative.

    The only one that I strongly agree upon is just someone who continually, continually avoids doing anything to help themselves to a ridiculous extreme. But then again, that could be perception too - what takes only moderate effort for a priveleged person to acheive may take huge, monumental effort for a disabled or otherwise disadvantaged person to overcome.

    I could go on and on about my personal preferences, but I think you'll get what I'm driving at. Hopefully.

  8. #18
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Well, if you're referring to my post I would prefer not to work closely (and when I say closely I mean she's my boss) with a person with such issues.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Well, if you're referring to my post I would prefer not to work closely (and when I say closely I mean she's my boss) with a person with such issues.
    Actually I was mainly referring to the OP and just touching on different posts I have seen.

    I understand you not wanting to work with that person. I hate working with people who have OCD.

    I was just saying mainly that what one person finds intolerable another might be able to deal with, depending on their preferences and personality.

    And even if I don't think someone is necessarily "less than" it doesn't mean I necessarily want them around me either! I can think someone is as "good" as me as a human being, but just not want to be around someone like that, for sure. I will avoid the hell out of people who cause me grief.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    I don't view people as better or worse.

    I see people as unique individuals with their own gifts.
    There's a reason Neuroscience has taught us: No two human brains are exactly alike.

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