Remind me to quote Charles Manson to illustrate a point.
Haha. Well in the case of this thread, that might be a good idea. All I know is that I have no interest in holding hands and singing kumbya with the likes of either. And that's not to say they don't deserve lots of cuddles.....from someone else.
There is a thinking stuff from which all things are made, and which, in its original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe.
Unlike Jennifer, I don't think you have provided sufficient evidence for anyone to make a conclusion about your situation, other than that you are incompatible with this person. I would have thought being "controlling" was an admirable quality in a supervisor.
You admitted in your first post that accusations of mental illness could just be "a really nasty rumour".
Yes, you are right I did say that. I mentioned it possibly being a nasty rumor because I have heard no confirmation/denial from her and I did not want to assume. I don't assume someone has a mental illness because I don't get along with them. Give me some credit please.:rolli: I would actually prefer her to be autistic so I can have a reason why she behaves as she does instead of believing that she's just an asshole because the sun shines.
...it supports your assertion that this person is impossible to get along with.
Oh, she is difficult. People have left the department because of her. She's been mentioned as a cause for leaving in exit interviews. I've gone to HR and they say they are well aware of the problem. But most people deal with it through leaving, avoiding, and accommodating, not by actually saying anything to her.
I can imagine that you would be a very difficult person to supervise. Your tone can frequently be read as patronizing, condescending, hostile and you are giving to hyperbolic flourishes - though you may not see any of this yourself.
Didn't you say this to me nearly verbatim last week? When you besmirch my character, please do so originally. I don't mind being psychoanalyzed, but I'd like to hear some new stuff to promptly disregard from you.
Here's this thing I learned about called reframing.
What I'm going to do is I'm going to reframe her as a unhealthy INTP (not really I'm pretty sure she's INFP but for the purposes of this post I'll call her INTP). That way, all her outbursts and toxic behavior can be chalked up to "inferior Fe." And you can call my unsubstantiated complaints inferior Ti or just being plain ol' Fe. Because laying this at the feet of the most likely cause, that she may really have some mental disorder, is offensive to you. But if it's just normal INTP behavior, to be a jerk, then all is well. So I'll give you something within your sphere of knowledge and understanding so you can have your aha moment.
You also said you had a heated exchange with your boss, which suggests you are insubordinate.
I say this not to be inflammatory, but just to stress that one's perceptions are merely that.
We've had several heated exchanges. And how did you guess how much I being called insubordinate! More reframing: For a Fe-dom to be continually insubordinate, it's a very freeing experience. Screw being agreeable. Must be like an INTP actually giving a damn. Give me the social skills of an INTP and the world unfurls in front of me! (<----Hyperbolic Flourish, in case you don't know).
Alright, I spent the last 15 minutes of my lunch responding to you and I've got to get back to doing some work. If I feel like going back and forth with you, I'll do it after quittin time.
Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship. Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts Social Penetration Theory 1 Social Penetration Theory 2 Social Penetration Theory 3