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  1. #11
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    That sounds obnoxious and very short-sighted. You don't want everyone in your environment gunning for you or to tie your situation to only one person's coat tail.

    Better to be nice to as many people as you can, especially your equals and inferiors because they are the ones who can make or break you and your superiors see you as an inferior even if you are a nice pet ATM.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #12
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Well to me it's not necessarily about how qualified this person is because skills can be learned and this person is learning. They're hired now and it's been nearly a year and nothing catastrophic has happened.

    What bothers me is the exploitation that's now occurring and the divisiveness in an already strained relationships. And the person knows that they are liked and it feels like they rub it in the faces of those who the Bosses feel more neutral towards. It can be in little repeated comments like "Jane and I..." (Jane being the boss) "already discussed this and we think..." when that person has no more authority than anyone else. It's an air of Us vs. Them attitude this person is reinforcing (when they've done nothing to be "them" other than being well-liked) and I'm wondering how much of a conscious process this is very them just moving along taking advantage of the situation as things occur with much forethought.
    I would guess it is conscious, but can't know for certain.

    What I found in really competitive environments is that the games played make a number of people both favored and disfavored depending on the momentary context. I taught at a small college where they would play this game in which at a given moment they would make each person feel like someone else was favored. They made a fellow female colleague feel quite invalidated about my accomplishments, but when talking to me they made sure I knew there was someone else they preferred for any given assignment. I know I appeared to be the golden child to certain people, but I wasn't even close to it. They did the exact same thing to me.

    Any interaction that is not based on skill and reasonable decision making is frustrating to me.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
    (from Blue Velvet)

  3. #13
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Growing up people tended to like me for no reason, I wasn't outgoing and kept to myself, didn't suck up. Though in highschool and middleschool I was told by lot of teachers that I was refreshingly honest and it was a nice change. Even in highschool when I was high or drunk every day teachers still loved me.(though that year I also got the best grades, I guess I was paranoid that if I gave up they would figure something was up so I actually did school work ) My mom loves me, mostly because she knows that if she asks me to do something for her I will.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  4. #14
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Favorited child. I didn't get to understand that until the age of 27, by the time I had lived on my own for 6 years.

    My father used physical punishment as an education method, and my brothers were super shitty, so I failed to understand that for my entire childhood. I guess I was my mother's favorite. I had no plan of gaining my mother's approval, I just liked to talk with her about everything under the sun. She had wisdom, insight, intelligence - understanding, we could talk about everything related to Big Topics.

    I didn't know there were small topics after a while of living on my own.

    I've sometimes been the most vocal student, the student who's been given the most opportunities to speak, but it's been only fair and no favoritism.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
    Widdles in your cream.
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    Favourite child; unintentional. I was told this the other week. With my older brother (ESTP) turning out to be "such a huge disappointment", all bets are on me.

    This makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, to have my parents demand so much out of me just because the first batch had turned out wrong. But at the same time, I don't want to let them down. I feel under pressure to achieve good grades for my degree, which is a good thing, of course. But what happens if I make a bonafide effort and still fail to attain what they want from me? They always put it down to, "You have the potential, but you never put in the effort; you're just being lazy". If that's their conclusion to ever mediocre achievement in my life, and ever failure, I find it easier to figure out why I freeze up out of anticipating performance failure.

  6. #16
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I've always been favorited for no reason. When I was a baby, I looked like a gerber baby. Only child, but the favorite of aunts and uncles amongst all the cousins. The happy, friendly kid with the good grades and always saying cute things that made people laugh.

    Teacher's pet, boss' pet. That's sometimes intentional as I think that life is much easier that way.

    In highschool I was voted, "The best friend." I had a billion friends but wasn't necissarily "the most popular" because that required some looks and money, fashion and scandal. Plus I was friends with dorks and populars alike.

    I'm not so much favorited anymore because I'm getting older and have opinions, not as much of a people pleaser and I don't care as much. This wasn't intentional, just natural. Though I know a couple of professors have a soft spot in their heart for me, and my boss loves me, and i'm still generally likeable, i'm not necissarily the star anymore.

  7. #17
    Senior Member avolkiteshvara's Avatar
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    Give me the knife.................paleaseeeee

  8. #18
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    Golden child? Hardly. If anything, I was the one who was treated unfairly.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    There's a thread here about people sucking up to gain favor. I'm wondering about people who may or may not suck up but realize either way that they are in a favored position in a particular situation.

    Maybe you're a favorite student, favorite child, favorite employee, favorite friend. However you got there, you have now arrived.

    If it hasn't been through means of your own undertaking, i.e. you just happened to be the recipient of someone liking you and the person who likes you is in a position to make your life easier, how do you respond to people being jealous or envious of your favor? Are envious feelings ever justified in such a situation?

    People may not want to be honest about this part, but do you ever use your favored position to your advantage, especially if that position was not earned through traditional means such as hard work and dedication? If so, how do you use it?

    Sounds alot like my brother. I think he's an e s/N t/F p. I know you didn't ask, but when in Rome.

  10. #20
    S Saiyan God Mace's Avatar
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    WOOOWWWWWW. Now, this is a good question.

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