skylights
i love
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2010
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this is really interesting...
this would seem to depend on how the manager felt about you socializing... if he didn't like it and wanted it to stop, then it would be pretty indirect in communicating that, but seems quite direct about assigning tasks. if he doesn't mind then it's simply direct.
same thing, though here negative opinion of socializing is more clear. this one i'd say is completely indirect though, quite literally, because he's not saying anything that directs you in any way.
still a bit indirect, but very prompting. i don't know if it's direct as much as simply blunt. like, you could say, "would you mind changing your gloves again?" and that would be less blunt, but more direct, because you're telling her what to do.
most direct. the reasons why she wants you to do this is not clear but what she wants you to do is.
lol, this is a really good point, and i think it answers the questions above too. what one person tries to communicate and what the other person receives can be totally different things. my mom (ESFJ) is actually more direct than my dad (INTP) but mom is more tactful than dad. which is to say, i think mom is better at getting across what she wants to get across - getting the results she wants (i forget who mentioned results before, but like that), but dad uses language that more obviously conveys his opinion.
Scene 1
When I worked at Starbucks and when it was slow us baristas would sit around talk. If we still had unfinished duties to do the manager would eventually start assigning us tasks around the store (effectively ending our chat sessions) but did not say anything to us about our socializing.
this would seem to depend on how the manager felt about you socializing... if he didn't like it and wanted it to stop, then it would be pretty indirect in communicating that, but seems quite direct about assigning tasks. if he doesn't mind then it's simply direct.
Scene 2
When I worked at Victoria's Secret I so enjoyed one of my coworkers there. Basically we'd come to work just to talk and hang out. We'd typically choose some low customer interaction task and chit chat while we were working. Once our manager came up to us in full conversational thrall and said, "My! Aren't you two chatty Cathys!"
same thing, though here negative opinion of socializing is more clear. this one i'd say is completely indirect though, quite literally, because he's not saying anything that directs you in any way.
Scene 3
Recently I went to get blood drawn, the lab tech put on gloves and opened every drawer in the area looking for something and even left the room and I heard her rifling through drawers in the other room. She came back to me smiled and said "OK, ready!" I waited to see if she was going to change gloves again but when she picked up my arm I said "Are you going to change your gloves?"
still a bit indirect, but very prompting. i don't know if it's direct as much as simply blunt. like, you could say, "would you mind changing your gloves again?" and that would be less blunt, but more direct, because you're telling her what to do.
Scenario 4 (stole this one)
Imagine you've just hired a new consultant whose job is to help you improve your communication. The first time you meet with her, she hands you an article and says, "Sit down and read this article I've written. Think about it carefully. Then I want to talk to you about it."
most direct. the reasons why she wants you to do this is not clear but what she wants you to do is.
I wonder if directness is related to a person's ability to pick up on hints, innuendos, and reading between the lines. Think about alternate versions of each scenario as well, i.e. being perceived as bossy, authoritarian, micromanaging, passive, etc.
Also, this ties into calling people passive-aggressive as well. I sometimes think one person's passive-aggressiveness is another's blunt force trauma. One person will accuse another of being passive-aggressive, while the accusee will assert they were being direct. Once again, I think it depends on how a person defines direct and how much directness is necessary for them to pick up on what others are saying.
Direct to what kind of point? Someone can be direct as all get out, but if their focus is not the same focus as the other guy, the other guy isn't going to call them direct. The other guy might even think the "direct" person is hedging or hiding. Like, an INTJ might say, "Get out of my house!" and the other guy complains, "No, tell me directly, what do you feel about me! Why won't you be direct!"
lol, this is a really good point, and i think it answers the questions above too. what one person tries to communicate and what the other person receives can be totally different things. my mom (ESFJ) is actually more direct than my dad (INTP) but mom is more tactful than dad. which is to say, i think mom is better at getting across what she wants to get across - getting the results she wants (i forget who mentioned results before, but like that), but dad uses language that more obviously conveys his opinion.