Just thinking about this a bit more in relation to my own communication style...
Pretty much all of my communication is between equals (I am self employed and only work with my husband so don't have the superior/subordinate thing).
In most cases I don't like to force people to do things, I think this is one of the reasons I value a more subtle style of communication. I prefer to let someone know what I would like, but phrase it in a way so they can choose not to do this without feeling like they're being rude. I would much prefer someone not do something than do it just because they felt that they had to.
Autonomy and choice are very important to me. And just as I don't want to be trampled on, I also wouldn't want to impinge on someone else's autonomy
I agree, communication feels like an art form to me as well. It's like an intricate dance, with subtle shades, as you say.I too often prefer subtleness in communication directed at me as long as the message is clear and not vague and ambiguous (unless as an exception when I choose it to be not clear for whatever reasons). Communication with me feels like a art form or science and directness and indirectness and the subtle shades in between are a palate. As raindancing infers learning who the person (i.e. personality type) you are communicating facilitates the intake and outtake of communication.
For me, it's the personalized nature of communication that makes it interesting and compelling. You have to adjust your dance for each person and each situation in the moment; accurately communicate while maintaining the perfect balance.