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Thread: Bioclock

  1. #11
    Nips away your dignity Array Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    9 sp/sx


    You have the possibility to make children and you're deliberatly ignoring it. Obviously, it is going to raise a few questions in your head every now and then. Especially to an N.

    What would it be like?
    Am I missing out?
    Will I regret this descision?
    Should I really pass on this oppertunity?
    Oh well, I love my life so I best not think about it too much.

    But trust me, that suppose you decide to have children for those reason, in a few years you'll be:

    What would it be like if I had no children?
    Did I deprave myself of an oppertunity and lifestyle?
    Should I regret having children?
    Should I have passed up on the oppertunity?
    Oh well, I love the buggers, so I best not think about it too much.

    Choice is yours, your life is your life, reason to regret is non existant. Choose your path and accept it.

  2. #12
    Queen hunter Array Virtual ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    135 so/sp


    Say to me what you want but I think you are resisting something that is pretty much inevitable. (just a thought)

  3. #13
    Senior Member Array WoodsWoman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007


    Do you feel this way only when you are around those pregnant friends? If so make it a point to hang out with parents of teenager - it'll cure you. *grin*

    Also consider that you have a strong 10 year relationship - a kid would change that dramatically - not necessarily to make it worse, but very very different. My late husband and I would catch each others eye and say, "Thank God we don't have any..."

    No, I don't have any kids, and I never had the itch. So take it for what it's worth.

  4. #14
    darkened dreams Array labyrinthine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    4 sx/sp
    INFp None


    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    Ever since I turned 27 I've been having flashes...where I'm more able to appreciate the joy children seem to exude. Where I feel more like taking care of them. Where I'm no longer annoyed or panicky when someone asks me to watch their child or when a child asks me for my help or talks to me. In fact, I find myself endeared.
    You're only 27? Age is not an issue for you yet as far as I've ever known or heard. Once you pass 40 then statistically the chances of getting pregnant or dealing with physical problems increase. I wasn't even married until 28 and every doctor I ever went to basically said I had ten years of good opportunity to have a child.

    I'm 39 and have not yet had children, but did try from time to time. I really love children and do have some sense of loss, but I work with children and put a lot of energy into that, so that can be fulfilling in place of having one's own children. At this point I might not have the energy to be a mom full-time. If you don't end up having children, but the desire increases as your physical ability to get pregnant decreases, it is a useful solution to work with kids every day as part of your job.
    The first man to raise a fist is the man who's run out of ideas. H.G. WELLS
    The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. FEYNMAN

    If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.SCULLY

  5. #15
    IRL is not real Array Cimarron's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    5w6 sp/so


    Quote Originally Posted by WoodsWoman View Post
    Do you feel this way only when you are around those pregnant friends? If so make it a point to hang out with parents of teenager - it'll cure you. *grin*
    Hehe, or the flip side, have you thought about babysitting for someone you know? I guess you don't know anyone who's had kids yet. Theoretically, it would give you an outlet to care for kids, but without the steel-solid commitment.
    You can't spell "justice" without ISTJ.

  6. #16


    I understand these things that you're feeling, Amargith. I have a co-worker who is pregnant, and that gets me thinking from time to time.

    Just this morning I saw an infant in a stroller, and I just kept looking at its little feet and tiny toes. There is something about that just sucks you in!

    But then I remember a 40-something friend of mine and her two kids, who she adores, and honestly, I just can't see me having the patience for them full-time. I need my recharge time, my hide-in-the-bedroom time, and I know that wouldn't be fair to kids.

    My mom admits to having me because she wanted someone to love her unconditionally...kind of like having a cat (and I know you know about kitties!). But you know, my mom is one of those people who truly should not have had children. She's very into herself, and she doesn't know how to relate to or comfort her children. Strange thing is that she tests IxFP. For me, she's a big indication that I should not have children.

    You know what I'm thinking of doing? Perhaps I will adopt at a later age...say at 50. Maybe by that time, I will feel that I got all of my selfishness out of my system and have more wisdom and life experience to share with the child. But who knows...

  7. #17
    So tired... Array Amargith's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    4dw sx/so
    IEx None


    I wanna thank everyone who posted here. I do appreciate all the replies. The temporary insanity has passed, yet again (I posted this thread when I heard a friend of mine was having twins!! ). For now, I'm more than happy to not have any children of my own. But the more I think of it, the more I'm ok with not resisting that urge anymore (except for my pride..which is very hurt by the fact that we declared for years not to be interested in kids ).

    I know it won't be for the next few years, if at all. But I do wonder..if I am able to reach all the goals I have in mind for the next five is possible that I am finally ready for it. Worries for later though, thank god

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