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  1. #1
    Ginkgo
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    Default My Problems with Psychologists

    This is probably the last thread I'm going to start, at least for now. Thank you all for your assistance.

    Ever since childhood, I have had perplexing conflicts with my counselors, psychologists, and teachers.

    This rebellious mindset was probably born when my parents made the decision for me to see a counselor. I thought they were being foolish and hypocritical by not looking at themselves. I knew they were projecting their problems and misfortunes on me, using me as a scapegoat. And as far as I was concerned, it prevented them from maturing and growing out of their depressed rut. Unfortunately, whenever I explained this to them, they shut their ears and refused to listen.

    I even had problems in academia because I was incredibly judgmental of my teachers and friends. Despite my success with grades, my teachers would tell me to "stop being spoon fed", to which I retorted, "Then stop spoon feeding me...". I never manipulated them or anything, so I'm sure they just wanted me to fulfill my fullest potential. However, once again, we have this same problem of my authority figures not being able to see my perspective.

    Half a year ago, my mother brought me to an academic adviser because she wanted to convince me to go to a particular college. Whenever I explained her motives to her, she refused to acknowledge them.

    So, when I started speaking to this counselor, I could immediately tell that he was trying to manipulate me. He was touching on issues about my personality that nobody knows, and that he claimed to have just "picked up" by seeing me twice beforehand. I then realized that my mother must have given him some of my files prior to the appointment.

    So, every time he would make an appeal to me, I would subtly object to it in a perfectly convincing way. In the back of my mind, I was laughing hysterically at his confusion and frustration to my responses. Then I asked him if he had taken any Psychology classes in college. He responded positively, and then he knew that I was playing mind games with him the whole 30 minutes we were there.

    Meanwhile, my ESFP mother sat there completely oblivious to what was happening.

    I'm sure to some of you, I sound like an evil asshole by now.

    However, my purpose in making this post was not to illustrate how much of a douche I am. On the contrary, I want to stop this behavior of mine because it is impeding my progress. I want some input from someone else. And, ironically, I want to become a counselor myself.

    Even now, I pay a 6 dollar co-pay just to go to a professional psychologist and confuse him.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tyrant's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what to tell you, but I suppose I have a similar problem. My mother often talks about how I don't exhibit "normal" behavior and how "I need to see somebody." It's nonsense to me specifically because whenever she suggests such a thing whatever I've said is completely logical. Of course when I ask what evidence point to this, she usually presents jokes taken largely out of context.

    Hell, I remember going to the doctor a few weeks ago, and within about 5 minutes of interaction, he reasons that I should see a counselor.
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  3. #3
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrant View Post
    Hell, I remember going to the doctor a few weeks ago, and within about 5 minutes of interaction, he reasons that I should see counselor.
    I have this problem too. I remember going to see a psychiatrist who gave me a 5 minute survey which concluded I had ADD. He hardly even observed me.

    The survey had seemingly irrelevant questions like "Do you scratch your feet at night?" and "Do you have any pets at home?"

  4. #4
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Being forced to get help often results in rebelling against it.

    You should just treat everyone differently who is a psychologist or a counselor, you might actually get something out of it. Why expect EVERY counselor to be that way based on a few examples? Don't let the bad apple ruin the bunch. They are just doing their job, and if you just mess with them then it will be naturally inaccurate, since you are purposefully not being accurate with your representation of yourself and your answers to their questions.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  5. #5
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    My friend, Winona, interprets my motivation very accurately. However she then tells whoever I am with what my present motivation is.

    Sometimes my present motivation is vanity or insecurity and to have this broadcast to those around me is embarrassing.

    There are two striking things about Winona. The first is that she is very accurate in describing motivation. And the second is that she doesn't realise she is making a social faux pas.

    I am fond of Winona and I think she like me. And I value her accurate description of my motivation. But I can see she is socially excluded because of her faux pas.

    Winona does spend some time with her psychiatrist and the psychiatrist has diagnosed Winona with a mental illness.

    And Winona seems to think that if a psychiatrist can describe her motivation to the world, then she will reply in kind and describe the motivation of those around her to the world.

    Winona is in a power relationship with her psychiatrist where the psychiatrist has the power and she has none. Naturally this is unpleasant for her, so to compensate Winona identifies with the psychiatrist and does to other people what the psychiatrist does to her.

    So Winona is showing us the relationship with her psychiatrist. And it is show not tell. In other words her behaviour is a metaphor for her relationship with her psychiatrist. And what is interesting is that neither Winona nor her psychiatrist know this.

    Unfortunately her psychiatrist is simply deaf to behavioural metaphor.

    And interestingly I run into the same problem here, with many deaf to metaphor. In fact many actively dislike metaphor and ask me to speak to them literally. And this is because they come from a literal culture in which metaphor is a pejorative word.

    And so in being literal minded they are only following their cultural imperative.

    We all want to be good, and the way to be good is to follow whatever our cultural imperative happens to be. Unfortunately some cultural imperatives are simply limiting. And that is why a tertiary education aims to transcend the cultural we bring with us from primary and secondary education.

    But like many patients, Winona wants to reverse the power roles and become a psychiatrist herself. And my heart breaks for her.

  6. #6
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    My friend, Winona, interprets my motivation very accurately. However she then tells whoever I am with what my present motivation is.

    Sometimes my present motivation is vanity or insecurity and to have this broadcast to those around me is embarrassing.

    There are two striking things about Winona. The first is that she is very accurate in describing motivation. And the second is that she doesn't realise she is making a social faux pas.

    I am fond of Winona and I think she like me. And I value her accurate description of my motivation. But I can see she is socially excluded because of her faux pas.

    Winona does spend some time with her psychiatrist and the psychiatrist has diagnosed Winona with a mental illness.

    And Winona seems to think that if a psychiatrist can describe her motivation to the world as a mental illness, then she will reply in kind and describe the motivation of those around her to the world.

    Winona is in a power relationship with her psychiatrist where the psychiatrist has the power and she has none. Naturally this is unpleasant for her, so to compensate Winona identifies with the psychiatrist and does to other people what the psychiatrist does to her.

    And like many patients Winona wants to reverse the roles and become a psychiatrist herself.

    And my heart breaks for her.
    I don't have this behavior in public unless someone pushes me to it, or if it is really needed. I am aware that it is antisocial.

    However, you are right when you say it is a power struggle. It is so frustrating... I feel powerless most of the time.

    I honestly don't try to lead my psychologist on. The superficiality of the whole agenda is overwhelmingly obvious to me.

    Maybe we could just execute some additional ice-breaker exercises to reinforce trust?

  7. #7
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    Maybe we could just execute some additional ice-breaker exercises to reinforce trust?
    A relationship with a psychologist is inherently unequal.

    Essentially the psychologist plays the role of parent while you play the role of child.

    And because this relationship is open to abuse, the psychologist follows a strict code of conduct.

    And naturally you are expected to play the role of a child.

    These roles can be helpful as they give the patient the opportunity to grow up again in a benign environment.

    However if you try to overthrow or subvert the power of the psychologist, the environment turns toxic.

    No doubt you come from a culture that was shaped by revolution and the overthrow of authority, so perhaps you are carrying out your cultural imperative in the office of your psychologist.

  8. #8
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post

    No doubt you come from a culture that was shaped by revolution and the overthrow of authority, so perhaps you are carrying out your cultural imperative in the office of your psychologist.
    Perhaps, but this is a dangerous generalization. Many humans, by nature, tend to be apposed to authority.

    But aside from that, I should stop, you are right.

  9. #9
    Don't Judge Me! Haphazard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mystic Tater View Post
    I have this problem too. I remember going to see a psychiatrist who gave me a 5 minute survey which concluded I had ADD. He hardly even observed me.
    A psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD because I found the chair in the office particularly bouncy and bounced my butt on it a few times.

    No seriously. They were incredibly bouncy.

    And there were ads for ADHD medication all over the walls, on the clocks, on the stress balls, and on the pens.

    Those chairs were that bouncy on purpose. I am sure of this.
    -Carefully taking sips from the Fire Hose of Knowledge

  10. #10
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Haphazard View Post
    A psychiatrist diagnosed me with ADHD because I found the chair in the office particularly bouncy and bounced my butt on it a few times.

    No seriously. They were incredibly bouncy.

    And there were ads for ADHD medication all over the walls, on the clocks, on the stress balls, and on the pens.

    Those chairs were that bouncy on purpose. I am sure of this.
    Seriously, it's all a conspiracy to make you pay for placebos.

    Where is a tin foil hat when you need one?

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