cafe and usehername and several others have posted lots of useful advice.
At some point you have to take control of your own happiness if you want to have any.
That means planning and then doing things in an attempt better your future, instead of making excuses about how you were raised or what you've been told before. You're 21, that IS NOT TOO OLD TO LEARN. Seriously. Unless you take steps to improve your future (to whatever degree you desire) now you will be sitting in the same stagnant hole in 5, 10, 20 years that you're looking around at now. What will get you out of the hole, complaining about the view and how you got there, or figuring out a way out and then walking out of it? You're bright enough to figure that one out.
I don't like how I was raised either. My solution was to get a job, move out, and deal with my parents infrequently, on my own terms instead of letting them dictate my life. You're more than old enough, and capable enough to do that, if you truly want to. You learn the necessary life skills that you want to learn by putting yourself in a position where you have to learn them, or suffer for it.