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  1. #81
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    cafe and usehername and several others have posted lots of useful advice.

    At some point you have to take control of your own happiness if you want to have any.

    That means planning and then doing things in an attempt better your future, instead of making excuses about how you were raised or what you've been told before. You're 21, that IS NOT TOO OLD TO LEARN. Seriously. Unless you take steps to improve your future (to whatever degree you desire) now you will be sitting in the same stagnant hole in 5, 10, 20 years that you're looking around at now. What will get you out of the hole, complaining about the view and how you got there, or figuring out a way out and then walking out of it? You're bright enough to figure that one out.

    I don't like how I was raised either. My solution was to get a job, move out, and deal with my parents infrequently, on my own terms instead of letting them dictate my life. You're more than old enough, and capable enough to do that, if you truly want to. You learn the necessary life skills that you want to learn by putting yourself in a position where you have to learn them, or suffer for it.
    -end of thread-

  2. #82
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    Pinocchio is astoundingly gullible and given to telling lies until his nose grew so long that he couldn't turn without banging it into something.
    I hope that we xsfps aren't always seen as gullible liars!
    I'm somewhat off topic but...
    ... it's OK to take action, even impulsive action. You learn from your mistakes. If you never do anything, never take any risks, you're not going to grow as a person.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    This is why I loathe Pinocchio - the Disney version anyway. I always identify with Jiminy Cricket and associate my XSFP mom and people like her with Pinocchio.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  3. #83
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Walking Tourist View Post
    Pinocchio is astoundingly gullible and given to telling lies until his nose grew so long that he couldn't turn without banging it into something.
    I hope that we xsfps aren't always seen as gullible liars!
    I'm somewhat off topic but...
    ... it's OK to take action, even impulsive action. You learn from your mistakes. If you never do anything, never take any risks, you're not going to grow as a person.
    That's just my mom. She is exceptionally unable to learn from experience and completely incapable of learning any other way. Certainly SFPs do not have the corner on that market. Sorry for the implication.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  4. #84
    HAHHAHHAH! INTJ123's Avatar
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    I think I know of a good job for you, Pharmacy technician. Nice introverted environment with plenty of old people for you to talk to and they will be desperate for a conversation. Pay is decent and the work is easy for a lazy person like you. Also, I think you only need a high school diploma, but getting a certification would probably increase your chances. The only thing about this job that pushed me away is the ethics of it, if you don't mind the thought that the products/drugs you are pushing might be doing more harm than good than it might be the perfect job for you. Most people think drugs are good though so I doubt you would mind.

    and old people love infj's.

  5. #85
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    You are right. SFPs are far from alone in being like that. That's probably why scammers and con artists have such success before they get too greedy and get caught.
    My mom, on the other hand, is very skeptical of everything all of the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    That's just my mom. She is exceptionally unable to learn from experience and completely incapable of learning any other way. Certainly SFPs do not have the corner on that market. Sorry for the implication.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  6. #86
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
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    Hey guys, there's a reason why I focused on positive action plans. It's pretty clear that Athenian200 already has enough self-esteem issues and analysis paralysis without loading any more on her, thanks.

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Okay, I tend to respond badly when people tell me to "just do," because in my experience just doing tends to result in punishment. Plus, I hear on television and from my mother all the time about how many things can go wrong if you "just do" without planning things out. It's very strongly discouraged. Even my early experiences in Elementary school taught me that you get punished for action, not for inaction.

    So essentially, my first instinct is to suspect that you want to get me in trouble, because you have something to gain from doing so, or else you just don't know any better than to get yourself and other people in trouble. I have a tendency to equate doing without understanding (and living in the moment) with "evil," and a lot of things that people call "evil," "stupid," "reckless," and "shallow" fall into that category.

    Where is the error in my assumptions and thought process? I think there must be one, but I can't find it...
    Life insurance salespeople are given an optimism test. Most people are easily discouraged by failure; this makes evolutionary sense, because if three* people are eaten by predators on the path to a particular spring, then there's a survival advantage to finding a different source of water. Yet, about a third of people imagine much more control over random events than they actually have.

    Thus, evolution says that it's often fitter to stop worrying and just do it already, because lots of things in life are more like independent rolls of the dice than like a path being stalked by a predator. There are many different reasons why nine people in a row could reject a life insurance pitch, and so it's actually logical for those salespeople to be just as confident on the tenth call as on the first.

    You don't need to be irrationally (yet adaptively) optimistic like the ideal salesperson. You just need to open yourself up to the possibility of success and be willing to take that one first leap of faith, and then trust that each dead end will point the way to a different path to try (because everything that you think and do changes you). That's why I often suggest volunteer work to people who are stuck: it might turn out to be the wrong direction, but if nothing else it will achieve the one thing that you most need right now, which is to be moving at all.

    * Once is a happenstance, twice is a coincidence, thrice is a pattern. Not a scientific law, but a good heuristic for daily life.

    Quote Originally Posted by INTJ123 View Post
    I think I know of a good job for you, Pharmacy technician. Nice introverted environment with plenty of old people for you to talk to and they will be desperate for a conversation. Pay is decent and the work is easy for a lazy person like you. Also, I think you only need a high school diploma, but getting a certification would probably increase your chances.
    You can probably find a community college certificate program that will sufficiently prepare you for the state certification exam for about $2000 or so. Requires decent math skills, so pays fairly well for the low responsibility. Something to look into for sure.
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

  7. #87
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    i only read the first 2 posts . . . but OMG . . . INFJs I lOVE YOU!!!!

  8. #88
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    athenian200 . . . you are a natural born "innate" taoist . . . are you into taoism? i get you . . . even though i am enfp.

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