User Tag List

First 34567 Last

Results 41 to 50 of 88

  1. #41
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    7w8
    Socionics
    ENTj
    Posts
    5,908

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Well, it's not really rural, it's kind of... well, suburban. There are malls a few miles away that I could get to, that might be worth looking into. There's a city, it's just not as accessible for me because I'd have to take a trip to go into it, and I'm uncomfortable running around getting into things alone, especially with my mother advising me against it. If I could get an interview at a mall before I went, though... yeah, that would work.
    Well, that seems okay then. There should be public transport if it's just a few miles, right? Then you should try to go there and just ask for it (usually, they have something outside saying that they're looking for apprentieces and the like). I have a friend that did that, he is not extremely ambitious (nothing wrong with that, I'm not either), and he's happy with his job about just advising customers about what to buy, taking care of payments, etc. if you are lucky that can actually pay more than 90% of "research" positions that require PhDs and similar stuff. If you are anxious about going there and asking, drink some (not much, just a bit to deaden the anxiety) alchool beforehand. It's not "nice", but if it can lead to a better result just for once, I think it can be done.
    That type of job sometimes also gives you social interaction with some non-tech people, which it seems like you are a bit in need of.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  2. #42
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    468 sx/sp
    Socionics
    EII None
    Posts
    4,383

    Default

    I spent 10 years trying to get a Bachelor's degree because I couldn't find anything I was passionate about. My parents were determined my ass was getting a degree in SOMETHING. Eventually, we figured out that with just a few more courses, I could get a BS in Education, and teach English. I had a night job, from midnight to 8 am, doing medical records transcription (basically, typing) in a mental hospital, to help out with expenses. When I finally got out of school and started teaching, I hated it. The 2nd summer I was off, I got an office job, and realized I was back in my element -- with nobody looking at me and nobody expecting too terribly much. Which allowed me to blossom. (We don't like the limelight...) I stuck with the office work, and now I've been doing it 25 years. And I make so much money you would not believe me if I told you the number.

    Do what doesn't bug you. That's hard enough to find. Nevermind this grand passion for some occupation that they speak of. if you keep doing it long enough, you will get good at it, and you will get promoted.

    I'm exactly like you, except 52 years old. I just want enough money for a small space to call my own, and my privacy. I never had and never will have any grand ambition.

    It's completely doable. Get the first job you can get and go from there. Just start. It doesn't have to be The Thing -- just some thing. Get one job, then get another, etc.

  3. #43
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    8,828

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    I spent 10 years trying to get a Bachelor's degree because I couldn't find anything I was passionate about. My parents were determined my ass was getting a degree in SOMETHING. Eventually, we figured out that with just a few more courses, I could get a BS in Education, and teach English. I had a night job, from midnight to 8 am, doing medical records transcription (basically, typing) in a mental hospital, to help out with expenses. When I finally got out of school and started teaching, I hated it. The 2nd summer I was off, I got an office job, and realized I was back in my element -- with nobody looking at me and nobody expecting too terribly much. Which allowed me to blossom. (We don't like the limelight...) I stuck with the office work, and now I've been doing it 25 years. And I make so much money you would not believe me if I told you the number.

    Do what doesn't bug you. That's hard enough to find. Nevermind this grand passion for some occupation that they speak of. if you keep doing it long enough, you will get good at it, and you will get promoted.

    I'm exactly like you, except 52 years old. I just want enough money for a small space to call my own, and my privacy. I never had and never will have any grand ambition.

    It's completely doable. Get the first job you can get and go from there. Just start. It doesn't have to be The Thing -- just some thing. Get one job, then get another, etc.
    I kind of imagine that happening if I try to get a degree. I've been interested in office work, but the main things blocking me are that office work seems like it would be something EVERYONE wants to get into, and maybe something that they want more experience for. Technically, I do have 2 months of experience with office work from working with my Dad, but I left on such bad terms that I don't think he'll give me a reference. I liked the work, I just didn't like the way he was always changing everything up once a week. He would always change the filing systems, move things around, etc. Even though he wasn't the one who did the filing. Really annoying. Even Karen and the other people he worked with didn't like it, but were afraid to say anything.

    I ended up leaving for two reasons. The first was that after a while, he began treating me like I was in high school again and I couldn't take it because it was bringing back bad memories of being trapped.

    The second one was, that one of the family members (my uncle) he had working for him... had his wife and kid come over and do work for free. I was bothered by this both because it was unprofessional and exploitative that he was bringing them in to do work without pay, and because their work was inferior in quality. On top of that, his wife was extremely annoying and picked on me about every little thing from wrinkles in a shirt, to not throwing away a Kleenex after a single use (while it was still in my hand).

    I have to say, after having worked in an environment where they changed the rules and layout every other week just to suit the bosses whims, I'm beginning to develop an appreciation for SJs... I think that environment really lacked an SJ presence. I actually got to see how stressful it would be if every piece of shiny new technology that could potentially improve things got pushed on us the moment it was released.

    Anyway... I know that I need to get a job, any job at this point. I just wish I knew how to get one. It feels like the Borg just told me that I needed to be assimilated or destroyed, but refused to help me with it. Instead, they expect me to be able to pass a test where I reconfigure their cube-shaped ship into a sphere without mental augmentation, AND manage to insert components in myself in all the right places to be assimilated without any directions. You know what I mean?

  4. #44
    Senior Member SciVo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    924
    Posts
    244

    Default

    Yes, but I've discovered that it isn't brain self-surgery: mostly people want to hire people that they know and like, since that is most likely to create the least unpleasant working environment. (The less the hiring manager has to interact with the peons, the less that matters.) I forget what country you're in (sorry), but you could look into volunteer opportunities. If in the U.S., that includes charitable organizations such as a food bank network, and you could also maybe work with your state government's Human Services department through Volunteers of America. You'd be surprised at the amount of valuable work experience that's there for the asking.
    INFP ~ Fi/Ne/Ni/Te ~ 9-2-4 sp/so

  5. #45
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Apply for SSI, move into subsidized housing for people with disabilities. Apply for food stamps. You have a low expectation for standard of living so you could make it on that if you don't drink or smoke.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  6. #46
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    4w5
    Posts
    8,828

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SciVo View Post
    Yes, but I've discovered that it isn't brain self-surgery: mostly people want to hire people that they know and like, since that is most likely to create the least unpleasant working environment. (The less the hiring manager has to interact with the peons, the less that matters.) I forget what country you're in (sorry), but you could look into volunteer opportunities. If in the U.S., that includes charitable organizations such as a food bank network, and you could also maybe work with your state government's Human Services department through Volunteers of America. You'd be surprised at the amount of valuable work experience that's there for the asking.
    Well, if I can find something like that, I guess I'll give it a try...

    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    Apply for SSI, move into subsidized housing for people with disabilities. Apply for food stamps. You have a low expectation for standard of living so you could make it on that if you don't drink or smoke.
    I'm not eligible. I checked.

    I mean, people take one look at me and think I don't need any help. I'm (physically) male, white, 21, somewhat intelligent, and have no disabilities. They think I should have it made, and quite honestly I should... if I were even halfway normal, I probably would. They demand and expect a whole lot from me that they don't even explain or justify.

    It's too bad being an N dominant isn't considered a disability. It really should be... I think not being able to process things like a normal person is quite a disability in a society that depends on that perspective for people to function within it.

  7. #47
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    MBTI
    iNtJ
    Enneagram
    152 so/sx
    Socionics
    INTp Ni
    Posts
    801

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SciVo View Post
    If in the U.S., that includes charitable organizations such as a food bank network, and you could also maybe work with your state government's Human Services department through Volunteers of America. You'd be surprised at the amount of valuable work experience that's there for the asking.


    How about being a social worker (particularly, a semi-volunteer for those without a B.S degree) in general? My ISTJ aunt worked to serve the financially disadvantaged for years and years, and she enjoyed every minute of her job.

    Social Workers
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
    SLOAN: rCoa|I|
    Functional Preferences: Ni, Te/Fi, Ti, Se, Fe, Si, Ne


    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  8. #48
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I'm not eligible. I checked.

    I mean, people take one look at me and think I don't need any help. I'm (physically) male, white, 21, somewhat intelligent, and have no disabilities. They think I should have it made, and quite honestly I should... if I were even halfway normal, I probably would. They demand and expect a whole lot from me that they don't even explain or justify.

    It's too bad being an N dominant isn't considered a disability. It really should be... I think not being able to process things like a normal person is quite a disability in a society that depends on that perspective for people to function within it.
    Are you getting any treatment for the social anxiety and depression and been checked for Asperger's? I think it's possible you have more going on than just being very N dominant. You can become functional with those or similar conditions, but it takes support.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  9. #49

    Default

    Athenian, I came late to this thread, but you may be aware that I was in a similar position as you for a long while. I apologize if what I say has been said before.

    I would advise, for right now, to forget about finding your "passions." Just do things that you like (whether or not it is job related) and the things necessary to survive by yourself. You are still young. I know people well into their 50s who never found what they were passionate about.

    Think of the surviving-on-your-own part like school. Give yourself "assignments" and know if they don't get done, then your freedom to survive on your own is in jeopardy. CCNA work may not be something you like quite as much as in the past, but you seem conscientious enough to hold down the position once you become certified.

    The fact is that some people find their contentment outside their work for the vast majority of their lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    In my own case, I may never actually become a physicist, but the class, the reading, the related hobbies, tutoring, and making my QM Vlog keep me relatively happy, while I work a job that I am not enthused about, and am relatively competent at.

    If you ever do think you figured out your passion then don't hesitate to pursue it.

    But finding arenas where we have adequate skill, adequate interest, and where there exists an adequate market is what allows us to survive on our own.

    It would be wonderful if all those "adequate"s were "exemplary"s. But I think it is a rarity for people to actually find those arenas...not that we should stop looking, but we need to do what we need to do in the mean time.

    Accept the past. Live for the present. Look forward to the future.
    Robot Fusion
    "As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." John Wheeler
    "[A] scientist looking at nonscientific problems is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman
    "[P]etabytes of [] data is not the same thing as understanding emergent mechanisms and structures." Jim Crutchfield

  10. #50
    Your time is gonna come. Oom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    IsfP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Socionics
    INTp
    Posts
    511

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ygolo View Post
    Athenian, I came late to this thread, but you may be aware that I was in a similar position as you for a long while. I apologize if what I say has been said before.

    I would advise, for right now, to forget about finding your "passions." Just do things that you like (whether or not it is job related) and the things necessary to survive by yourself. You are still young. I know people well into their 50s who never found what they were passionate about.

    Think of the surviving-on-your-own part like school. Give yourself "assignments" and know if they don't get done, then your freedom to survive on your own is in jeopardy. CCNA work may not be something you like quite as much as in the past, but you seem conscientious enough to hold down the position once you become certified.

    The fact is that some people find their contentment outside their work for the vast majority of their lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

    In my own case, I may never actually become a physicist, but the class, the reading, the related hobbies, tutoring, and making my QM Vlog keep me relatively happy, while I work a job that I am not enthused about, and am relatively competent at.

    If you ever do think you figured out your passion then don't hesitate to pursue it.

    But finding arenas where we have adequate skill, adequate interest, and where there exists an adequate market is what allows us to survive on our own.

    It would be wonderful if all those "adequate"s were "exemplary"s. But I think it is a rarity for people to actually find those arenas...not that we should stop looking, but we need to do what we need to do in the mean time.


    Great advice, for me anyways. I think that your right. People that are genuinely happy with what career they've chosen are not in the majority. We the majority need to find something outside the arena of work to make us feel satisfied and fulfilled.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] You don't do anything for me!
    By 21% in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 10-10-2012, 02:33 PM
  2. Her boyfriend, he don't know; anything, about her
    By Zangetshumody in forum The Fluff Zone
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02-11-2012, 12:45 PM
  3. Quotes and sayings that don't make sense
    By Oaky in forum The Bonfire
    Replies: 110
    Last Post: 02-23-2011, 01:41 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO