I don't love anything... thus, nothing makes sense.

[Ginkgo]

Purpose cannot come from Self.

Purpose must come from others. This is what 'love' is.

Of course, you cannot find purpose if you don't go out and look for it.

At which point, Purpose must come from Self.

Interesting paradox.

You said that all you want is basic survival needs. However, you are also interested in self-realization because you are on this web site. I think you should be treated for depression.

 

[the state i am in]

i think usehername gives fantastic advice.

i get down in the dumps when i feel cut-off from others. i need some enps to get me going, at times, and then i feel immediately recharged. we get so focused, so zoomed in on specific details/relationships, it's easy for us to become fixated and stop flowing freely.

taking risks is the biggest challenge for infjs. without them you gain very little. finding people who will bring out the best in you and support you is the first and foremost priority in the life of an infj. you seriously evolve soooo much faster when this happens. you don't just have motivation and meaning, you have to make it by making individual choices along the way. accepting that you are driven by something very different than most people is great, but there's more out there to wake up your Fe and make you feel more whole (read: connected).

we need to talk and get our opinions out of us so that we can see them. we need to use extraverted judgment to recognize context, to navigate and find our way. without having something external to lead us we are lost. such is life as an ij. when we get that, our attention to detail and ability to arrange and synthesize extremely complex information makes us brilliant and helpful to others. it's a lot easier to feel good about yourself when you are able to positively impact others, when meaning comes from your action and externalization and ARTICULATION/expression in the world. bc our introverted judgment is unconscious and difficult to control unless we are performing at peak efficiency.

also, like seemingly all the infjs here, i flip flop like a motherfucker. i just started a masters program and have regretted it four or five times, then i take a nap or have my s.o. smack some sense into me, then i'm happy again. the idea of a research paper in english seems utterly pointless to me, the idea of "producing knowledge" sounds embarrassingly naive. but with that said, i'm still reading whitman and dickinson (which, maybe not at the moment, but i DO want to do). i'm still taking a class in rhetoric that, while not as perfect and challenging as i would like, gives me a forum to arrange and articulate my absolute BEST ideas. i'm still working towards a degree that will improve my job prospects in the future, if i have to make some moves (which may or may not be necessary). i'm still bettering myself in teh social sense, forcing myself to be a little more disciplined (read: stressed) than i like for peak happiness, but fuck it, it's time to get something done. prove to myself and others that i have something to show them that they could never see on their own. and i'm still exploring somehting near and dear to me i would put off without more external structure such as this.

 

[cafe]

You love security, independence, solitude, and leisure time. Ain't nuthin' wrong with that. Or if there is, we've got the same problem.

 

[Lethe]

we need to use extraverted judgment to recognize context, to navigate and find our way. without having something external to lead us we are lost. such is life as an ij. when we get that, our attention to detail and ability to arrange and synthesize extremely complex information makes us brilliant and helpful to others.

This completely describes my personality right down to the core. I work faster and better when I am placed into an external structure, particularly with competition. The reason why I rely so much on my organization skills and deadlines is that it helps me process my decisions and implement them right into action.

I lack a rigid internal order (my Ni perceptions and insights are laying everywhere!), and I often feel increasingly scatter-brained in a highly flexible environment.

Please. Just shoot me now.

I need an external goal to function properly. Even if it's vague.

 

[the state i am in]

This completely describes my personality right down to the core. I work faster and better when I am placed into an external structure, particularly with competition. The reason why I rely so much on my organization skills and deadlines is that it helps me process my decisions and implement them right into action.

this is what makes us chart-the-course vs in-charge. we don't go blindly charging in with action, instead we lead with Ni. but we desire/need to create structure around ourselves to make us work at peak performance. and we are skilled at recognizing the quality of environments that will do that for us.

I lack a rigid internal order (my Ni perceptions and insights are laying everywhere!), and I often feel increasingly scatter-brained in a highly flexible environment.

I need an external goal to function properly.

now imagine switching Te with Fe. does this increase your sympathy for infjs? who just want to create harmony, beautiful feelings, aesthetic richness, ethical purity, and moment-to-moment holistic perfection? wtf kind of goal is THAT supposed to be? where to fucking begin???? (and who spend their time JUDGING their goals soooo much rather than using their judgment within the framework of a goal to accomplish something regardless? it is so much easier for Te to set a goal and go, to use the constraints productively, than Fe, which leads me to sometimes wallow in judging the wrong questions for way too long and not beginning on something (read: anything!))

and yes, Ni is a fucking mess. i have to write things down immediately or it may take anywhere from 1 to 1001 days before the shipped package arrives to the right doorstep. it really does just sift, bc it travels along such finely detailed paths that it takes a while to become properly integrated within the larger framework, altho, once that happens, it gets extremely difficult to remember what is down there and where we put specific things.

 

[Litvyak]

I have no wish to be, and I have no wish to do. I just want to survive. That's it.

It's either that

1) you're lying to yourself, or
2) this thread is totally meaningless, since you've accepted a situation you do not wish to change.

I'd say it's number 1. Correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[Lethe]

now imagine switching Te with Fe. does this increase your sympathy for infjs? who just want to create harmony, beautiful feelings, aesthetic richness, ethical purity, and moment-to-moment holistic perfection? wtf kind of goal is THAT supposed to be? where to fucking begin???? (and who spend their time JUDGING their goals soooo much rather than using their judgment within the framework of a goal to accomplish something regardless? it is so much easier for Te to set a goal and go, to use the constraints productively, than Fe, which leads me to sometimes wallow in judging the wrong questions for way too long and not beginning on something (read: anything!))

Hmmmm, I'll look into this more. I haven't thought enough about it, but these abilities seem to be very well-suited for creating social harmony. It is indeed pointing out the obvious, and I agree with your prior statement that there is a place in this world for an INFJ's preferences. What is commonly thought of as ambition (Te & Fi) in this society, leaves out many of whom do not meet these standards. They must now redefine this value for themselves. In essence, they are paving a private road: the path least taken. Jennifer has excellent tips on that.

Preferring Te did help me assimilate into the 'mainstream' culture, while having other quirks (re: Ni) created some lengthy conflicts during my encounters in a Si-dom institution. [My Fi also frequently clashed with my family's Fe leanings.] I was always told how I should think and feel, and it lead me to reject my own instincts early on in life. So I basically focused on meeting the requirements, then created numerous strategies without a real internal guide. This worked until my Ni & Fi needs grew stronger as the outside situations became more complex, and demanded more energy. I knew right then I simply could not keep living this way, after I finally broke down at the age of 15.

It was a long and heart-breaking journey to discover myself. Not many people (including my immediate family) supported this option, and they never ceased to vocalize their objection when I needed external guidance the most. [What happened? Why are you suddenly being lazy and disorganized? Why are you not working? What's with your attitude?] Again and again, I had to 're-negotiate' my most delicate issues, while desperately wishing to preserve and explore my own world, in solitude, for once.

So I sympathize with anyone undertaking this experience. It's not simple breaking the common trends when you have little support, especially if you are uncertain that you may not be able to use your extroverted judgment the way you desire. "Permanent stagnation", comes to mind. Where's the finish-line? And what does it mean? How do I fit into the picture?

and yes, Ni is a fucking mess. i have to write things down immediately or it may take anywhere from 1 to 1001 days before the shipped package arrives to the right doorstep. it really does just sift, bc it travels along such finely detailed paths that it takes a while to become properly integrated within the larger framework, altho, once that happens, it gets extremely difficult to remember what is down there and where we put specific things.

Double the frustration.

Triple the mess.

I also get bombarded with endless visions at once and without Te to control the data, my Ni will immediately soak in all those ideas until there's nothing left. The issue I have with sharing my insights is that I genuinely dislike having other people narrow down my thoughts for me. (I'm outwardly judgmental, yet inwardly flexible.) I love keeping hundreds of internal options open just in case I need them for the future, so I could mentally adapt as my goals demand of me.

this is what makes us chart-the-course vs in-charge. we don't go blindly charging in with action, instead we lead with Ni. but we desire/need to create structure around ourselves to make us work at peak performance. and we are skilled at recognizing the quality of environments that will do that for us.

And the trick is to recognize how that habit affects us. I never realized how much I depended on those structures to get through on a daily basis, until recently. I'm still learning more about my version of introverted intuition, such as why I tend to see things backwards from the ending to the beginning, or why I'm incredibly open-minded.

Kalach mentioned the interaction styles in another thread; it's been a major blessing in solving the many unknowns.

I suppose, after all that self-discovery and years of forcing myself into the wrong mindsets (ISTJ, ISFJ, ENFP), I cannot imagine being anyone else. Sure, this will not affect my ambitious, decisive persona, but knowing that you could see and do things your way, and still meet your definition of success is refreshing.

 

[poppy]

Hmmmm, I'll look into this more. I haven't thought enough about it, but these abilities seem to be very well-suited for creating social harmony. It is indeed pointing out the obvious, and I agree with your prior statement that there is a place in this world for an INFJ's preferences. What is commonly thought of as ambition in this society includes Te and Fi, and for those who do not meet these standards must redefine this value. In essence, they are paving a private road: the path least taken. Jennifer has excellent tips on that.

Preferring Te did help me assimilate into the 'mainstream' culture, while having other quirks (re: Ni) created some lengthy conflicts during encounters in a Si-dom institution. [My Fi, in addition, frequently clashed with my family's Fe leanings.] I was always told how I should think and feel, and it lead me to reject my own instincts early on in life. So I basically focused on meeting the requirements, then created numerous strategies without a real internal guide. This worked until my Ni & Fi needs grew stronger as the outside situations became more complex, and demanded more energy. I knew right then I simply could not keep living this way, after I finally broke down at the age of 15.

It was a long and heart-breaking journey to discover myself. Not many people (including my immediate family) supported this option, and they never ceased to vocalize their objection when I needed external guidance the most. [What happened? Why are you suddenly being lazy and disorganized? Why are you not working? What's with your attitude?] Again and again, I had to 're-negotiate' my most delicate issues, while desperately wishing to preserve and explore my own world, in solitude, for once.

So I sympathize with anyone undertaking this experience. It's not simple breaking the common trends when you have little support, especially if you are uncertain that you may not be able to use your extroverted judgment the way you desire. "Permanent stagnation", comes to mind. Where's the finish-line? And what does it mean? How do I fit into the picture?



Double the frustration.

Triple the mess.

I also get bombarded with endless visions at once and without Te to control the data, my Ni will immediately soak in all those ideas until there's nothing left. The issue I have with sharing my insights is that I genuinely dislike having other people narrow down my thoughts for me. (I'm outwardly judgmental, yet inwardly flexible.) I love keeping hundreds of internal options open just in case I need them for the future, so I could mentally adapt as my goals demand of me.



And the trick is to consciously recognize that quality. I never realized how much I depended on those structures to get through on a daily basis! I'm still learning more about my version of introverted intuition, such as why I tend to see things backwards from the ending to the beginning.

Kalach mentioned the interaction styles in another thread; it's been a major blessing in solving the many unknowns.

I suppose, after all that self-discovery and years of forcing myself into the wrong mindsets (ISTJ, ISFJ, ENFP), I cannot imagine being anyone else. Sure, this will not affect my ambitious, decisive persona, but knowing that you could see and do things your way, and still meet your definition of success is refreshing.

I'm not alone!



EDIT: Also, Athenian, I can completely relate to your OP.

 

[cascadeco]

Ahh....sigh. This topic has plagued me for pretty much my entire life. Needless to say, Athenian, I can relate 100% to your OP as it relates to career/making a living/surviving in this world. It's been the giant thorn - no, much bigger than a thorn - in my side for my entire life. It's an ongoing theme for me, and I believe it will be for life, but I will say I have different perspectives on all of it now, and feel I worked through a lot of the stuff about 5 yrs ago -- at least, worked through it to the extent that it does not weigh me down now like it did then, and I was able to move from cynicism and minor depression into a healthier outlook about all of it.

Others have written a lot about all of this already, and I think there's a lot of excellent info already in the thread. Just wanted to hop in quickly and say I understand the various dilemmas. It can be a hard thing to come to terms with, and to wrap your head around.

 

[Kyrielle]

we need to talk and get our opinions out of us so that we can see them. we need to use extraverted judgment to recognize context, to navigate and find our way. without having something external to lead us we are lost. such is life as an ij.

Absolutely. Which is, in part, why doing things without some sort of structure, is extremely difficult for me. If you game me a round peg and a square hole and gave me a deadline by which point that peg better be through hole or else you will be displeased, you can bet your arse it'd be through that hole by the time the deadline came around.

But if you gave me a round peg, a square hole, all the time in the world to try to fit the peg through the hole, and told me the task was of little importance to you, that whole task would sit and gather dust for a long time until I felt curious enough to try to solve the puzzle myself.



And yes, Athenian, I've been where you are and I share similar views about my life right now. I just want to get a regular, steady job, get a place to live, and make it without anyone else's financial help right now. That's all I want. Until I have done this, I won't feel prepared to persue any bigger thing that interests me. Have to get warmed up, first. Other people are more suited to jumping in head-first and anyone in their way needs to look out!

People like us, we have to take baby steps into reality. It's really easy to get complacent. And if we're not all that accustomed to handling the rest of real life (because for whatever reason, we have never had to--sheltered childhood, very supportive family, natural disposition to hide one's head in the sand when faced with something uncomfortable), then the whole process can seem rather daunting and pointless. So I encuorage you to take baby steps first. If the book club meets only once a month, go once a month. You might meet people there who you connect with, and then you can meet more often. If you seem to enjoy the technology group, meet with them. Even if you're just talking about technical stuff the entire time, you are still learning valueable interpersonal cues while in the process of participating in discussion. If there is anything you enjoy (you don't have to love it, just derive some mild enjoyment from it), try to do something related to it. You don't have to have a big passion, and you absolutely do not have to commit yourself in the long-term. If you see something that looks remotely interesting, try it just to see what it's like.

You don't have to make a big leap all at once. Just take small steps and ease your way into things. Maybe you'll find that once you get going, you'll not want to stop.

 

[Fluffywolf]

If you love yourself, quite a lot of the other stuff comes naturally.

 

[Athenian200]

Well, the thing is... after thinking about it, I'm just frustrated with the way reality seems to be laid out for me.

I do see a need to go out and do something. The problem is that I just don't "get it." I don't know what it is, but it seems like whenever I go to places with a bunch of people, it seems like the entire structure has already arranged itself without including me in a major way, and a place just seems to appear in it for me to participate in a minimal, simplistic way.

I end up finding this unsatisfying, but don't see any opportunity to do things any differently, and if I try, I end up being ignored or rebuffed back into my place. It's like there's... too much structure in the wrong places, and too little structure in the right places.

The best way to describe it is that the way people connect to each other seems to make little or no sense to me. I have a very good abstract understanding of it from reading, and a very simple practical understanding of it (enough to interact with teachers, ask people for the time, and pay clerks in a store). The problem is that when I look at more casual interactions, there seem to be no reasonable patterns.

A bunch of the time, the kids just happen to have known each other since elementary school, or they're family, and that's why they're so comfortable with each other. There really are an alarming number of people who never seem to go beyond their childhood friends, their ties to family, and the dating pool.

Which is probably why it's so hard to find information on making friends... quite a few people, especially Introverted ones like me, simply don't do it and end up finding everyone they need to find through their family circle. The thing is, I don't want to be that kind of person anymore, but I've spent so much time BEING that kind of person that I don't know how to be any other way. The frustrating thing is, that if I didn't have a need that went against what my family was okay with, I probably wouldn't be considering this at all.

I'm aware that making a new friend out of a stranger involves the ability to come across as casual, but I struggle with that because I tend to appear focused, which often causes people to react to me in a manner more reminiscent of how they'd respond to being approached by a police officer or inspector than a friend. Well, not everyone, I suppose (a very few actually approach ME and seem comfortable, yet those are so few and far between enough that I can't rely on that), but enough that I'm concerned about it.

The main thing I want to figure out, is how to tell ahead of time which kind of people are open to being spoken to by strangers, and which kinds might freak out and feel threatened if someone talks to them. I really don't want to get in trouble or make people think I'm a creep... sigh. This is why I wish I had learned some of these skills earlier, when I was a kid and people expected me to screw up and learn from it... not NOW when people expect me to get serious, know what I'm doing, and take full responsibility for other people's reactions to me.

It's extremely debilitating, the weight of knowing that I'm an adult and I'm totally accountable for how other people perceive and respond to me, that ignorance isn't an acceptable excuse anymore. I don't understand how anyone can have a cheerful attitude or ever want to take any risks once they REALLY understand that...

Another thing that I find irritating is that most people seem far more comfortable with an activity focus than a focus on people themselves, and find that this is enough to facilitate connections between themselves and others. But it doesn't work well for me, because when I find myself in such situations, I seem to end up focusing totally on the assigned activity and not feeling any connection the people I interacted with during it.

I end up needing a kind of odd focus... a need to deal with people personally, but yet in a less intimate way than in a romantic relationship. Not many people seem to be able to understand that level of connection, or if they do they only seem to offer it to family members or old friends. I just don't appreciate or understand the things most people connect to each other over, or even feel the very way they connect within me. I end up having to fake it, which makes me resent my "friends" so much that I don't want to be around them anymore than I have to.

There are just... too many roadblocks for me, and it doesn't seem like I've been given a fair shot at getting experience interacting with people in the manner I'd like. I feel like I was cheated out of something I should have gotten with the help of my parents at an earlier age, and that now that I'm on my own it's too late to make up for it and I'm kind of stuck.

On some level, I feel that it would be a tremendous help if I had one friend already who would just sort of... show me the ropes, so to speak. Put things in perspective as I go through the situation so I can get a feel for things. Maybe even introduce me to people so I can get the ball rolling without coming in as an intruder/outsider. But I don't have that...

 

[SciVo]

I'm aware that making a new friend out of a stranger involves the ability to come across as casual, but I struggle with that because I tend to appear focused, which often causes people to react to me in a manner more reminiscent of how they'd respond to being approached by a police officer or inspector than a friend. Well, not everyone, I suppose (a very few actually approach ME and seem comfortable, yet those are so few and far between enough that I can't rely on that), but enough that I'm concerned about it.

The main thing I want to figure out, is how to tell ahead of time which kind of people are open to being spoken to by strangers, and which kinds might freak out and feel threatened if someone talks to them. I really don't want to get in trouble or make people think I'm a creep... sigh. This is why I wish I had learned some of these skills earlier, when I was a kid and people expected me to screw up and learn from it... not NOW when people expect me to get serious, know what I'm doing, and take full responsibility for other people's reactions to me.

I'm not sure how to describe the signals of receptiveness, but I can tell you how I became good at giving and receiving them. In early adolescence I let my instincts teach me lots of things, by imagining various scenarios with my back to a mirror and then turning around to see my facial expressions and body language. That way, I learned how to recognize feelings in other people and display them purposefully myself. However, I learned the appearances intuitively and holistically, not by sharp observation of the individual components, so I can't put it into words. The same learning technique might work for you, though.

Another thing that I find irritating is that most people seem far more comfortable with an activity focus than a focus on people themselves, and find that this is enough to facilitate connections between themselves and others. But it doesn't work well for me, because when I find myself in such situations, I seem to end up focusing totally on the assigned activity and not feeling any connection the people I interacted with during it.

I end up needing a kind of odd focus... a need to deal with people personally, but yet in a less intimate way than in a romantic relationship. Not many people seem to be able to understand that level of connection, or if they do they only seem to offer it to family members or old friends. I just don't appreciate or understand the things most people connect to each other over, or even feel the very way they connect within me. I end up having to fake it, which makes me resent my "friends" so much that I don't want to be around them anymore than I have to.

There are not many clubs devoted to deep, intensely personal conversations, except for group therapy. Outside of a confidential setting, it takes time and shared experiences to develop the requisite trust for the vulnerability that accompanies emotional intimacy.

 

[Athenian200]

I'm not sure how to describe the signals of receptiveness, but I can tell you how I became good at giving and receiving them. In early adolescence I let my instincts teach me lots of things, by imagining various scenarios with my back to a mirror and then turning around to see my facial expressions and body language. That way, I learned how to recognize feelings in other people and display them purposefully myself. However, I learned the appearances intuitively and holistically, not by sharp observation of the individual components, so I can't put it into words. The same learning technique might work for you, though.

Ah, thanks. Might be worth looking into.

There are not many clubs devoted to deep, intensely personal conversations, except for group therapy. Outside of a confidential setting, it takes time and shared experiences to develop the requisite trust for the vulnerability that accompanies emotional intimacy.

I suppose I find that confusing because of the fact that I don't value shared experiences much... sigh.

I really, really don't appreciate human nature. It seems too confining and ridiculous.

 

[SciVo]

I can't believe I'm saying this, but have you considered playing a MMORPG such as Everquest II or World of Warcraft? I lost a great deal of time to those kind of games, but it was not a complete loss. I gained respect for the bonding that occurs during an intense experience where you're relying on someone else, without actually having my life endangered by real combat. That experience then gave me a metaphor that enabled me to understand the value of shared experiences in trust-building, which helped me scale the importance of trust in my mental model of emotional intimacy, which helped me measure the importance of discretion by the difference in how much people share in confidential settings.

 

[ajblaise]

Why not just research the fastest growing occupations that only require 2 or so years of school or training and start narrowing down what you want to go for? There are lots of introvert friendly positions out there that don't require extreme dedication. Most workers aren't especially passionate about what they do, it's not a requirement.

If it's a job you want, do you really have any other choice?

Occupational Outlook Handbook, 2008-09 Edition
Tomorrow's Jobs

 

[Athenian200]

Why not just research the fastest growing occupations that only require 2 or so years of school or training and start narrowing down what you want to go for? There are lots of introvert friendly positions out there that don't require extreme dedication. Most workers aren't especially passionate about what they do, it's not a requirement.

If it's a job you want, do you really have any other choice?

Occupational Outlook Handbook, 2008-09 Edition
Tomorrow's Jobs

Oh, god. They're not even including a high school diploma level anymore. I can't believe they're trying to force me to go to school, I can't HANDLE school at this level. I can't deal with the amount of studying required to pass an SAT, and I struggle too much with math to even take most first-year college courses.

I'm just going to have to take whatever I can get, I can't deal with anymore school. I just can't.

 

[FDG]

I don't exactly know how's the situation in the US, but here in malls/commercial centres they're almost always looking for clerks/waiters. That seems to be a job suitable for your preferences, since it's sufficiently stable and not excessively demanding. Idk tho I got the impression you live in a fairly rural area which would make finding a mall slightly harder perhaps. In that case often wood cutters/laborers and farmers look for apprentieces, I've done that for some time and it was one of the most rewarding jobs I've experienced. I agree that I think often seems like the request for education has shoot up for no real reason at all.

 

[Venom]

Athenian do you think that this is a consequence of Ni at work and weak Fi ?

assuming Athenian agrees:


Proof that all people use all functions. Humans cant function without feelings. Even spock has to have a "feeling" about why the hell he gets out of bed in the morning.

Ive also noticed that INFJs are way more prone to this than say ENTJs or INTPs (people who supposedly have low feeling). I think its because many INFJs develope an unhealthy mistrust of Fe.....thus the 4th position Fe/Fi of EXTJ and IXTP tends to be stronger than the Fe of some of the NiTi INFJs.

The point is, NiTi is extremely unhealthy. No one can live like that. I think you should just do, and then see what makes you react. When you react, it will awaken you to personal beliefs you have suppressed. Its kind of like saying your indifferent and then flipping a coin, only to then get really upset about how the coin decided for you. Thats what you need! you need some F.

 

[Athenian200]

I don't exactly know how's the situation in the US, but here in malls/commercial centres they're almost always looking for clerks/waiters. That seems to be a job suitable for your preferences, since it's sufficiently stable and not excessively demanding. Idk tho I got the impression you live in a fairly rural area which would make finding a mall slightly harder perhaps. In that case often wood cutters/laborers and farmers look for apprentieces, I've done that for some time and it was one of the most rewarding jobs I've experienced. I agree that I think often seems like the request for education has shoot up for no real reason at all.

Well, it's not really rural, it's kind of... well, suburban. There are malls a few miles away that I could get to, that might be worth looking into. There's a city, it's just not as accessible for me because I'd have to take a trip to go into it, and I'm uncomfortable running around getting into things alone, especially with my mother advising me against it. If I could get an interview at a mall before I went, though... yeah, that would work.

assuming Athenian agrees:


Proof that all people use all functions. Humans cant function without feelings. Even spock has to have a "feeling" about why the hell he gets out of bed in the morning.

Ive also noticed that INFJs are way more prone to this than say ENTJs or INTPs (people who supposedly have low feeling). I think its because many INFJs develope an unhealthy mistrust of Fe.....thus the 4th position Fe/Fi of EXTJ and IXTP tends to be stronger than the Fe of some of the NiTi INFJs.

The point is, NiTi is extremely unhealthy. No one can live like that. I think you should just do, and then see what makes you react. When you react, it will awaken you to personal beliefs you have suppressed. Its kind of like saying your indifferent and then flipping a coin, only to then get really upset about how the coin decided for you. Thats what you need! you need some F.

I don't think I need Fi. I think I'm too smart to need Fi, no offense. I'm not crazy enough to embrace THAT. People keep trying to pull it out of me, and it just won't come. It's not how I operate. I do think I need more Fe, though. I just need to find a way to cultivate it... maybe I should try to find situations that will allow me to take advantage of my Fe. That's probably the solution, though I've been afraid of it. It's just that I've been taught not to trust people, and it's hard to figure out how to start now. Well... I guess I could always try to use some kind of research studies to convince my mother that I need more social interaction than I'm getting. Maybe that would work.

Listening to my own feelings doesn't get me very far, because usually what I hear when I do is, "I'm lonely and I want people to pay attention to me!" Which doesn't really help me very much, because there's very little I can do about that right now (though I'm trying to get into a position to address it).