I have a fascination with bloody and macabre art, partly because I can not dare stare at gore and blood for too long without being repulsed and paralyzed. I, like Haphazard, will have to cite my overactive imagination as the culprit. It's not full blown blood phobia in that I don't come close to fainting. Another quirk is that, for instance, if the art showcases some flesh wounds, or I just see them in everyday life, my hands automatically check the corresponding areas on my own body. If I see a wound in the eye I can spend some time checking with my hands if my own eyes are still there and healthy, mostly by touching the eyelids. Just thinking about it made me interrupt my posting and touch my eyes...ugh. Or, for instance, I'm watching a match in the current Euro 2008, and if a player's ends up receiving a bloody injury or wound... same thing.
A friend of mine, Arturo, a medical student took me into the operating theatre to watch a live, eye operation.
I turned up at the hospital and went into pre-op with Arturo. Naturally they thought I was another medical student.
We all scrubbed up together and put on our gowns and masks and went into the operating theatre.
I had never seen an operation before so I didn't know how I would react to the blood but to my surprise I was quite sanguine during the whole operation.
Although there was a moment when the anesthetist asked me to go out into the corridor and get some more gas.
I didn't know which cylinder to get but luckily I chose the right one.
I must admit, it was quite an experience but I was pleased to discover I don't faint at the sight of blood.
And, oh yes, the really odd thing was that although the eye was right out of the socket and blood all over the face, the surgeons talked about the horse races during the whole operation. Luckily the patient couldn't hear a word.
Aside from a ridilculous fear about being stabbed in the eye, my biggest fear at moment is of having a heart attack.
I can't think about hearts, see hearts or feel a heartbeat without starting to panic. The biggest problem about this is that I can't get away from it for physical reasons, and I can never ever be in a completely comfortable situation. In fact in bed is when the phobia manifests itself to the greatest height.
My skewed rationale that created the fear is I supposed one day that maybe if you thought about it enough you can give yourself a heart attack based purely on will power. So I started worrying that because I was worrying I would give myself one, and it's been like that ever since.
Why do we always come here?
I guess we'll never know.
It's like a kind of torture,
To have to watch this show.
I have an extreme fear of being skewered in the armpits by ancient tribal communities or the occult. At night i cannot sleep unless my arms are folded or unless i tuck blankets in such a way that my arms are at my sides in cocoon-like fashion.
It all started with incessant tickling that, to me, is not fun, and is extremely painful. I would laugh when tickled, but coupled with the maniacal laughter i expressed would be this sort of deathly fear and pain that lingered under the surface and i couldn't express. I am guilty of tickling my brother and he has also mentioned pain, perhaps a genetic predisposition to tickling sensitivity?
Anyways it started to become a fear when, at my grandparents house, me my brother and my cousin were all wrestling, fighting, tickling, what young kids do, in front of the TV, it was national geographic or the dc and it showed these tribes that took schiskabob-like things and punctured their bodies, even their tongues! That image is in my mind to this day as vivid as the present images i experience... This was experienced while i was being tickled, perhaps classical conditioning? That night was the first night i remember feeling afraid of my armpits being violated while i slept by sharp skewers, held by savages or things of this nature.
I don't know, but I, to this day fear armpit puncturing or swarms of ticks and other critters assaulting them and burrowing into my lungs or heart or something...Ugh, irrational i know but, feelings trump thought in this one, that is why phobias are so fascinating i guess.
Last edited by BridgeCable; 06-21-2008 at 12:03 PM.
Reason: forgot an s