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  1. #1
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Default Easy Decisions vs. Hard Decisions

    Okay, my mother recently complained that I don't like to make decisions and always try to force someone else to make them. But then I pointed out some exceptions, and she realized it only applies to certain kinds of decisions. We found there were specific categories of decisions that I'm not as good at.

    Easy decisions:

    1. Technical Decisions. I'm apparently good at making decisions as far as what kind of software to use, what kind of hardware to install in a computer. I'm also good at figuring out what kind of cable is needed to hook something up, what kind of telephone service to order, getting tech support over the phone, etc.

    2. Monetary Decisions. I'm good at prioritizing bills that need to be paid, cutting out trivial things, managing money, etc.

    3. Life Decisions. I'm good at making big decisions, like where I want to live, whether I want to go to school, what I want to do in school, what kind of jobs I'm most interested in, etc.

    Hard decisions:

    1. Interpersonal Decisions. I usually make these, but tend to find them annoying, change them at the last minute more than I should, and/or make incredibly lazy/sloppy decisions that minimize the amount of focus I have to spend on this area. I seem to make somewhat better decisions here when family isn't involved, though.

    2. Trivial Decisions. I'm not good at making decisions like what I want to eat, what I want to wear, personal hygiene, etc. I tend to try and pressure my mother or other people into making these decisions for me so I can work within that structure. I do like these things decided, though.

    3. Minute Decisions. I'm not good at making the little decisions that follow big decisions. I tend to sort of expect things to fall into place, don't like to think about the details after I've already made a decision.

    The one about food is especially funny.

    Mom: Are you hungry?
    Me: I could be hungry. How long has it been since I ate?
    Mom: About 5 hours.
    Me: How long do I usually wait in between meals?
    Mom: About 5 hours.
    Me: I guess I'm hungry, then.
    Mom: Where do you want something to eat from?
    Me: Where do YOU want something to eat from?
    Mom: I don't care, I already ate. Pick something!
    Me: Well, where did I eat the previous two days?
    Mom: At restaurants X and Y.
    Me: What's the closest restaurant other than X and Y?
    Mom: Z.
    Me: Well, go to Z.
    Mom: What do you want from there?
    Me: The same thing I usually get, obviously.
    Mom: But there's more than one thing you usually get!
    Me: Well, get me the one I didn't get last time I went, then.
    Mom: Sigh. Okay, bye.

    Insert a lot more mutual whining and complaining about each other, and you pretty much have what happens when I'm asked about what I want to eat. You don't even what to know what happens when I have to decide about what we're going to eat when we eat in.

    So, anyway, what is it that makes hard decisions hard, and easy decisions easy?

  2. #2
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    Default

    wow I am terrible at life decisions and good at minute decisions, maybe that's a J/P divide? but the rest sound about right though I wouldn't say I was absolutely terrible at making trivial decisions, but defiently below average and wouldn't say i was wonderful at tech and monetary decisions but maybe average on those.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  3. #3
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Default

    Easy:

    1. Technical: I dont see the point in decision making, regarding technical. the faster the better

    2. Monetary: well, lets just lay the cover of silence over that one

    3. Life: uhouhuh, Life, what is life ? Is life what we think it is ? Is it not ? Are we alive ? Are we not ?

    Hard:

    4. Interpersonal: I like to comment on that with a video:

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzMY8Nw3hPU"].[/YOUTUBE]

    5. Trivial: In my opinion there are no trivial decisions and I am actually offended by the question.

    6. Minute: ya those suck. I always want to try out a new pizza, if I order one. So I tend to order two, to have one as a failsafe. I always end up with liking salami +double cheese the most but what the heck if you dont try you will never die happy

    ...


    That was for you no.1, how did I do ?

    And tho it doesnt fit I still add a jumpstyle song

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9pZKp4WhiM"]xD[/YOUTUBE]
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  4. #4
    Senior Member BlahBlahNounBlah's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    6. Minute: ya those suck. I always want to try out a new pizza, if I order one. So I tend to order two, to have one as a failsafe. I always end up with liking salami +double cheese the most but what the heck if you dont try you will never die happy

    I do this. Sometimes I think it's dumb, but then I decide everything's dumb so therefore nothing's dumb. Then I eat the pizza.

  5. #5
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Default

    I love making decisions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    So, anyway, what is it that makes hard decisions hard, and easy decisions easy?
    Why decisions are...

    Hard:
    - Perfectionism
    - Thinking over doing
    - Over-researching; excessive preparations
    - Taking too long to make a decision, by now their anxiety has intensified
    - Forgetting about implementation & the upkeep
    - Over-focusing on the wrong angle
    - Poor strategy and tactics
    - Conflict between interests
    - Uncertainty of short-term & long-term goals
    - Two equally positive or negative decisions
    - High-stake risks
    - Low self-trust
    - Inability to try new things: not building upon their experiences
    - Low interest
    - Feeling under-prepared
    - Uncomfortable with failures: better 'safe' than sorry
    - Not trying enough -- progress is not made without attempts
    - Lack of prioritization in activities & goals
    - Low resources for management -- not enough information, time, skills, etc.
    - Weak 'safety nets' for worse-case scenarios
    - Misc. emotional disturbances
    - And so on...

    Easy:
    - Right environment/structure
    - All interests arrive at the same point
    - Certainty of values
    - Certainty about short-term and long-term goals
    - Understanding of the self: motivation & limits
    - Great strategy and tactics for coping
    - Sufficient negotiation with personal disputes
    - Balancing thinking with acting
    - Feeling ready to take on the challenges
    - Believes he/she could handle the consequences
    - Interest in the activity
    - Willing to learn in the process of doing
    - Having enough resources
    - Experience... or confidence

    *There's some food for thought. And excuse my lack of organization in this post because I only have a few spare minutes.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  6. #6
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    wait why is minute hard for people? I mean like at a pizza place get one then try the other one next time. I mean minute don't usually effect your whole life, unlike life ones (which is probably why I find those hard to make)
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  7. #7
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    wait why is minute hard for people? I mean like at a pizza place get one then try the other one next time. I mean minute don't usually effect your whole life, unlike life ones (which is probably why I find those hard to make)
    Pure discomfort with 'thoughtless' choices?

    Whatever it is, someone needs a little introspection to figure out why they're mentally resisting those decisions.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  8. #8
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    which ones? the minute ones? or the life ones?
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  9. #9
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    any decision that has a lot of options...i can't even find a cellphone!

    i hate decisions...i like the process of researching options...but i hate deciding.

    but then i can be totally spontaneous and make decisions really quick...i can't tell why i do one over the other...i really can't...but i have a feeling if someone called me and asked me to hop on a plane with them and be gone for a week...i'd say...sure...let me figure out how to do that...go ahead and book the flight....but it might take me several weeks to pick a freakin phone!
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  10. #10
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prplchknz View Post
    which ones? the minute ones? or the life ones?
    For the life-decisions folks, it's the minute decisions.

    Perhaps it's not having enough time to think it over, or working with a lesser 'crisis' goal that discourages them. If they miss the bills, then they would undergo immediate repercussions for their actions. Switching the tables around, if a person forgets about eating, they'd still last for hours. The firm deadlines are practically non-existent.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
    SLOAN: rCoa|I|
    Functional Preferences: Ni, Te/Fi, Ti, Se, Fe, Si, Ne


    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

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