hey elaur i've heard you mention that before...so you started seeing how your emotions/ thoughts were expressed on your face? that's interesting...was that the point of it...or what?
No point, really, just a creative outlet. Most of the theory of it is that you want to be forced to take a pic every day, and you are always there with you. I was in a very active crazy group with mostly good photographers so it made it really fun.
From my earliest memory, right up untilI was about...13...14, I didn't associate with my face, hardly at all, I'd try to remember it and would only vaguely recollect having brown hair and glasses. I'd have to look in a mirror, and be surprised at the person I saw, that it was 'me'. The big mind f*ck was when I realised I had mannerisms, THAT was ODD. I don't reall know how to put it into words...
How weird to hear someone else talking about this. It's funny, the thought never crossed my mind that other people would have had a similar experience.
Probably up to a similar age of 14 or so, I also had the lack of identity with my physical self. I would forget what I looked liked, and then when I looked in the mirror it would be a shock, almost like I was looking at a stranger. I remember deliberately making an expression with my face, and watching the response in the mirror... it felt uncomfortable, almost like I was spying on someone else.
Particularly through the puberty time period, I would be shocked at how different my face looked each time I saw it in the mirror.. it would be this older person looking back, not me at all.
I would sometimes wonder how I could be so unaware of my appearance, since I brushed my teeth morning and evening in front a mirror. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I must not actually pay any attention to it during those periods and that my attention must only be drawn to my reflection occasionally, maybe not often enough to make the changing image seem like the same person?
I ended up having pretty bad self image problems throughout my teenage years, but my INTP husband really helped me get over that... acceptance without regard to physical appearance, I think.
Now when I look in the mirror... I guess I recognize the face more than I did when I was younger, but it still feels like something quite separate. I can recognize that it is my face, but it's not me.
“Can a man of perception respect himself at all?”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
the object of identification (called subject, actually) on one stage becomes the object of perception on the next higher stage.
so to become aware of your body, you must die as a bodily entity, dis-identify with it, must not remain in "identity with your physical self", you have to transcend it, thereby identify with your psychic self/subject (which is the next stage). the psychic subject "has" a body, "owns" a body, calls it "MY body", you are not really your body, but "in a way" you are, because it's yours. but it's and IT isn't it. an object.
in the meanwhile you can be identified with psychic images, that reflect your physical face, that are automatically associated with the face. you can imagine looking like that actor, when you do that face, or this cartoon figure when you do that other face. then you can die to that identification as well. you are not brad pitt, LOL
i absolutely identify with my face, every part of it is completely me. and i could draw a pretty accurate self-portrait without a mirror, i'm sure.
faces are really interesting to me, i mean a physical manifestation of your self? how great is that?
i really go in for the idea of a complete meshing of body and mind. i mean, your body acts on these intangible thoughts and feelings and impulses from your mind, but your mind also relies on your body to gather information to stimulate it. it is such an awesome give and take.
also i like to look at my reflection. a lot.
you know, in mirrors, car windows, somebody's sunglasses. whatever.
Originally Posted by lamp
Additionally, my left eye has much better vision than the right. So I physically feel like my face is deformed: from my visual perspective, the area around my right eye feels shrunken and the area around my left feels like it protrudes a bit. My 'center of vision' feels like it is slightly left and forward of where it 'should' be.
that's really cool, i have never thought of my face/body in remotely that way. i like it, it's very intriuging.
i have bad vision also, but when i look in a mirror i feel like my eyes have a very strong impression. i have never thought about actually feeling my bad vision in my eyes. i am thinking about it now, and if anything my eyes feel very powerful , because they are the main way i take in information, i am a very visually oriented guy.