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Thread: Control

  1. #1
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Default Control

    Do you ever fear being out of control/losing self control?

    Have you ever experienced a time when you were entirely at the whim of something other than yourself? What was it like for you?

    How much of your successes\failures do you attribute to your own efforts and how much to luck/chaos?

    Do you fear or hate the concept of destiny?

    What do you think when you see someone else lose self-control?

    Do you ever feel a desire to control others?

    Do you see the universe as chaotic or ordered?

    Edit: Also, how do you think the J and P axis affects our sense of (or desire for) internal and external control?
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    Do you ever fear being out of control/losing self control?
    I am afraid of being controlled or bound to others, but I am not afraid that I will lose my self control as it's one of my few virtues

    Have you ever experienced a time when you were entirely at the whim of something other than yourself? What was it like for you?
    I haven't been entirely at the whim of something other than myself since I was a very young child, which I can't remember. The only exception would be a few brief experiments with mind altering substances. At the time, it was like the thoughtful, conscientious part of me was dulled to the point that I was unable to prevent myself from just being...stupid. Being sedated to that point made me easily influenced by others, but I still had not lost all of my self control, just some.

    How much of your successes\failures do you attribute to your own efforts and how much to luck/chaos?
    When I succeed or fail because of my own actions, I attribute that to myself. However, bad things happen, in which case I usually respond "That's just how it goes sometimes".

    Do you fear or hate the concept of destiny?
    It'd be pretty nice if everything was all planned out and rolling neatly along its little tracks.

    What do you think when you see someone else lose self-control?
    I think they're a danger to themselves and others, and I try to distance myself from them.

    Do you ever feel a desire to control others?
    Not particularly. Most things that I want to obtain would be more satisfying if they were obtained by my own hard work. It would be like winning, but having cheated. Not that great. So if I experience a desire for someone to do something, it's pretty rare and only momentary.

    Do you see the universe as chaotic or ordered?
    I think it's both. There's a sort of structure to the chaos. Things are predictable, but not 100% guaranteed.
    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

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    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Do you ever fear being out of control/losing self control?

    Have you ever experienced a time when you were entirely at the whim of something other than yourself? What was it like for you?

    How much of your successes\failures do you attribute to your own efforts and how much to luck/chaos?

    Do you fear or hate the concept of destiny?

    What do you think when you see someone else lose self-control?

    Do you ever feel a desire to control others?

    Do you see the universe as chaotic or ordered?
    i'd rather control than be controlled but...hate the idea of that too.
    i can give in to the moment...and lose control...if it is my decision to do so...but...can't be put in the position where that decision is out of my hands.

    don't like to see people lose control...unless it's like ^^ that way.

    i like the idea of things having purpose...but i like thinking it's our own purpose that we control.

    i think i've mostly been lucky...or unlucky...as the case may be...listening or not listening to myself..which would mean...lack of effort too.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

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    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppy View Post
    I think it's both. There's a sort of structure to the chaos. Things are predictable, but not 100% guaranteed.
    I like that answer.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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    Default The Recipe

    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Do you ever fear being out of control/losing self control?
    I can feel it coming on.

    It is not unlike that last moment before an orgasm.

    But unlike that moment before an orgasm, it is a brief moment of overwhelming fear.

    It is a bit like catching a very large wave in the surf. There is a moment where you can slide off the back or commit yourself to the ride of your life.

    But instead of catching a wave or having an orgasm, I turn off that part of my brain that knows what is coming next.

    So no wonder I feel overwhelming fear, for not knowing what is coming next, I reasonably fear the unknown. And all animals fear the unknown.

    But once I am through to the other side, everything comes as a surprise.

    So everything is fresh and new. Each leaf, each sunbeam, each movement, each feeling and thought. Each moment is precious and passes into the next moment. Until I have had my fill, and I come back to you, refreshed and relaxed.

    By being brave enough to turn off that part of my brain that knows what is coming next, I let go of control for a while and everything becomes a surprise party.

    A little bit of a shock at first but completely delicious.

    All you need is the recipe.

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    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Great post Victor, when I was writing the thread I thought of the feeling when you misstime your drop into a wave (or the wave closes out) and you are caught rolling in the froth and the surge of the wave, with no sense of up or down and no power to stop your tumble towards shore, the initial loss of control is frightful but I always seem to pop up more contented afterwards.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Great post Victor, when I was writing the thread I thought of the feeling when you misstime your drop into a wave (or the wave closes out) and you are caught rolling in the froth and the surge of the wave, with no sense of up or down and no power to stop your tumble towards shore, the initial loss of control is frightful but I always seem to pop up more contented afterwards.
    Yes, catching a wave is the outer expression of losing control, while turning off that part of my brain that knows what is coming next, is the inner expression of losing control.

    And it is important not to confuse the two.

    For the point is the inner expression.

    The outer expression is merely to help us understand the inner expression.

    For if we get stuck at the outer expression we are literal minded.

    But if the outer expression leads us to the inner expression, we are free to fly.

  8. #8
    half-nut member briochick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quinlan View Post
    Do you ever fear being out of control/losing self control?

    Have you ever experienced a time when you were entirely at the whim of something other than yourself? What was it like for you?

    How much of your successes\failures do you attribute to your own efforts and how much to luck/chaos?

    Do you fear or hate the concept of destiny?

    What do you think when you see someone else lose self-control?

    Do you ever feel a desire to control others?

    Do you see the universe as chaotic or ordered?

    Edit: Also, how do you think the J and P axis affects our sense of (or desire for) internal and external control?
    1. I used to but don't anymore.

    2. A someone, and yes, and it was pretty traumatic. I'd rather not think about it.

    3. Most of it I attribute to something other than myself. I tend to feel like good stuff falls in my lap and bad stuff is caused by me.

    4. No to either. I consider that like fearing or hating gravity-just silly.

    5. Generally I'm both disgusted and fascinated

    6. No. I desire to fix others.

    7. erm...both.

    8. I would assume, based off my experience, that Js desire (and will force) much more control, but I certainly believe there are exceptions and the desire for control is probably based largely off of nurture rather than nature.
    Last edited by briochick; 09-03-2009 at 11:05 PM. Reason: forgot something
    -Brio

    "I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life; I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."
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  9. #9
    AKA Nunki Polaris's Avatar
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    Do you ever fear being out of control/losing self control?

    I constantly police myself; every little movement and every tiny word that passes my lips is executed with the utmost care. To lose control, as from anger, would destroy that presence of mind and possibly reveal my flaws. I fear that, yes.


    Have you ever experienced a time when you were entirely at the whim of something other than yourself? What was it like for you?

    No, and I don't believe I'll ever be. So long as I can draw a breath, a tiny amount of freedom remains, even if that freedom is only to brace myself for whatever awaits.


    How much of your successes\failures do you attribute to your own efforts and how much to luck/chaos?

    I attribute none of my successes to luck. If I get lucky, it's a matter of chance, not anything I've done myself. It is true, though, that good fortune can act as a springboard to achievement; I would say it's even necessary. As far as failure, I see little difference between a failure on my part and plain bad luck. If I fail, I'm unlucky, and if I'm unlucky, I fail.


    Do you fear or hate the concept of destiny?

    I hate destiny when it leads men to ignore their freedom. Since destiny has no special place in my own worldview, it causes me no personal discomfort.


    What do you think when you see someone else lose self-control?

    In the case of anger, I consider the person to lack self-discipline; in the case of grief, I admire the person's depth of feeling; and in the case of joy, I see the person as undisciplined but amusing and probably harmless.


    Do you ever feel a desire to control others?

    Sometimes, but for the most part my philosophy is to live and let live. I feel that a person should do whatever they want, so long as they hurt no one else.


    Do you see the universe as chaotic or ordered?

    Most of the time I'm scarcely even aware of the universe, except as a thin screen that reflects my beliefs back at me. When my focus is more externalized and less conceptual, all that exists for me is the order of my surroundings. Even the chaotic things are ordered in their own disorderly fashion.
    [ Ni > Ti > Fe > Fi > Ne > Te > Si > Se ][ 4w5 sp/sx ][ RLOAI ][ IEI-Ni ]

  10. #10
    Senior Thread Terminator Aerithria's Avatar
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    Do you ever fear being out of control/losing self control?
    Absolutely. I hate the idea that I might lose control of my mind/actions, due to illness, drugs, or whatever. This is partly why I don't use mind-altering substances.

    Have you ever experienced a time when you were entirely at the whim of something other than yourself? What was it like for you?
    Not while awake.

    How much of your successes/failures do you attribute to your own efforts and how much to luck/chaos?
    There have been a few times where I've just gotten lucky, but from my recollection it seems as though most things happen due to my efforts, whether actively or passively.

    Do you fear or hate the concept of destiny?
    I dislike the concept, though I'm not sure I'd say I fear it. If everything's planned out, then any effort I take makes no difference. Either I'll succeed or I won't, and if I'm meant to, it'll happen either way, and same for if I'm not. I'm much more comfortable with the idea that things happen on their own, because then what I do actually matters.

    What do you think when you see someone else lose self-control?
    I often wonder what leads to that sort of behaviour. I'm very curious as to what a person has to be thinking in order to let themselves lose control. However, I tend to not be around these people, out of some paranoid fear that their behaviour might inadvertently influence me to do the same in the future.

    Do you ever feel a desire to control others?
    Not particularly. If I have the right for control, then so do they. If I need compliance, I'd rather find someone who already thinks similarly to how I do than waste the effort to coerce them into agreeing.

    Do you see the universe as chaotic or ordered?
    In isolation, every system we uncover appears to have a natural form of organization. The more systems that interact together, the more chaotic everything gets. So both, I guess.

    Also, how do you think the J and P axis affects our sense of (or desire for) internal and external control?
    P functions are very chaotic in general, whereas J functions are structured. So a person with Pe is more comfortable with chaos because they always have an internal sense of organization to balance it, whereas a person with Pi is much more likely to take control externally, because it's the only way to balance the disorganization that takes place internally. At least, that's my view.
    [insert funny quote/saying/etc.]

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