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  1. #11
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I think i understand what you are saying .. or i could be totally off the mark.

    I am very much at the 'accepting all that is' part, however, i do momentarily drop like last night in bed and i lost it. Pure guilt trip. i fixed that by going to the gym today and beating the hell out of the rowing machine. Lol.

    I know everything happens for a reason, but like yourself, i am unaware of my path in life at this present time. It's like everything is passing me by and i am somewhat scared to make a move in case it's the wrong one.

    I was reading a book recently and it spoke of Deja vu. Apparently, it happens because our subconscious is remembering our blueprint that we chose before we came here. Maybe it's new age nonsense or just maybe it could be fact.
    If it's true, then i am where i am meant to be.

    Apologies, if i misunderstood you.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  2. #12
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fluffywolf View Post
    I do desire to evolve, it's why I made this topic.

    And yes, I also know regret can work the other way around. Holding people back. The 'spectrum' is bigger than the two 'options' I mentioned in the OP. But still I don't feel in a rush. Because I am happy, I don't feel pushed to evolve. I don't feel any undeniable need to change. Just the desire to not fall into the same pattern for long periods of time.
    Oh, I may be wrong, but I don't think constant evolution/growth is possible. I think everyone has their 'lulls', and although I can appreciate your two ends of the spectrum (although don't know that I would have chosen acceptance/regret as the forces behind a persons' type of movement/growth), either end, and everything in between, can fall victim to the same lulls.

    Personally, yeah, I can relate to what you're talking about, about feeling happy, and maybe there being an aspect of guilt for feeling happy, and being annoyed with yourself for being motionless and for not doing anything whatsoever except existing in your stable little world of happiness. But I'm also getting to the point where I am ceasing to be bothered so much by that -- because I know it won't last forever. :-) My next point of 'evolution' will occur when it occurs, when the time is right....when things have reached critical mass, and when I'm to the point where I am no longer happy/content with my situation....and I'll then have to push forward and grow and make changes. Constant change/growth? If you didn't have the lulls, you wouldn't even have time to reflect that you did in fact grow or you are currently motionless! It's when the scale tips towards your being more annoyed/bothered with your current life than content/happy with it, that you'll make changes!
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #13
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Oh, I may be wrong, but I don't think constant evolution/growth is possible. I think everyone has their 'lulls', and although I can appreciate your two ends of the spectrum (although don't know that I would have chosen acceptance/regret as the forces behind a persons' type of movement/growth), either end, and everything in between, can fall victim to the same lulls.

    Personally, yeah, I can relate to what you're talking about, about feeling happy, and maybe there being an aspect of guilt for feeling happy, and being annoyed with yourself for being motionless and for not doing anything whatsoever except existing in your stable little world of happiness. But I'm also getting to the point where I am ceasing to be bothered so much by that -- because I know it won't last forever. :-) My next point of 'evolution' will occur when it occurs, when the time is right....when things have reached critical mass, and when I'm to the point where I am no longer happy/content with my situation....and I'll then have to push forward and grow and make changes. Constant change/growth? If you didn't have the lulls, you wouldn't even have time to reflect that you did in fact grow or you are currently motionless! It's when the scale tips towards your being more annoyed/bothered with your current life than content/happy with it, that you'll make changes!
    Oi, that's a pretty healthy look on it. And I think I unconsciously relate to this as well. I just have days where I feel like I'm bursting with energy but I don't really have anything going on to release that energy. I suppose you're right that stale moments are inevitably neccesary in order to recognize growth, and to understand the importance of growth.

    I suppose it's just not going fast enough to my liking.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  4. #14
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    My approach to life is: "everything I've done so far sucks totally, but I couldn't have done it differently otherwise I would have, so I will just try to do better at the next opportunity". Thankfully, I have been "gifted" with a lot of useless energy, so it's hard for me to sit still, although I personally don't approve the feeling of "regret"; unless you've killed somebody, or something similar.

    I also try to tackle completely new hobbies that I deem interesting if I see that what I'm currently doing is stale. Sometimes a change of perspective can spur initiative, analysis and creativity.

    To be honest, though, I don't know if my approach is right, because I tend to focus too much on somewhat self-imposed ideals rather than what would be OK to do in comparison to others. So sometimes I find myself being alone in my quest for the perfect performance.
    ENTj 7-3-8 sx/sp

  5. #15
    Kraken down on piracy Lux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Constant change/growth? If you didn't have the lulls, you wouldn't even have time to reflect that you did in fact grow or you are currently motionless! It's when the scale tips towards your being more annoyed/bothered with your current life than content/happy with it, that you'll make changes!
    ^ I agree.

    I'm also the kind of person that get's comfortable in the stagnant stage of happiness. I can't make myself regret the past but I always try to learn from it. I'm happy, I like being happy but I understand what you're saying, I try not to stay "floating" for too long. To combat that I attempt something out of my comfort zone in order to remove the stagnation. It works for me.

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