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  1. #51
    Retired Member Wonkavision's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post

    You, my dear sir, have the insight of himself!

    *dips almondfeet in chocolate river*
    Greatest compliment EVER.

    (Wait---LOL--I hope that was a compliment! )

    EDIT:

    Also.....I really would have preferred:

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    I'M OUTTA HERE.

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    TAKE CARE.

    PEACE OUT!!!


  2. #52
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    Also, next to insecurity, exhaustion from extraverting also plays a huge role.
    Do you consider that maybe the E might feel exhausted from introverting? That is, from trying to bottle up their natural urge to externalize, for fear of your disapproving, impatient, silent frowns?

    I know that in the past, when I was part of a committee that was dominated by introverts, I used to leave meetings feeling so unbelievably frustrated, miserable and even angry, so pent-up and just exhausted too, I used to actually literally need to go to the pub and sink a few beers to get over it - if I couldn't do that, I'd feel as though I were actually depressed all day, sometimes longer.
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

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  3. #53
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    I am pretty good talking in one-on-one situations, even if I don't know the person, but in groups, I will just listen to everything rather than talk.

  4. #54
    Une Femme est une femme paperoceans's Avatar
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    Talk about just about anything in pops in your head (as long as it's interesting). Like I randomly talk to strangers while I am waiting in line if they're wearing something that I like, I simply compliment them and ask where they got it (and if it was on sale!). This may be hard to believe, but humans like being complimented (bad joke, yes/yes?). Like recently I saw a woman carrying a Marc Jacobs bag that I've been eying for a while; I looked at her and smiled: "OMG is that a Marc Jacobs bag?"

    She smiles because I acknowledged her designer bag, etc. ego! And we have a small talk. She tells me about a sale, etc. and then when she's done at the counter she lingers for a while. We talk about god knows what and then she says goodbye and runs off with her two kids to some movie. It's VERY simple.

    Or if you're in a classroom, mention that it is sooo hot and tell them some elaborate story about how your hair caught on fire or something ridiculous that happened to you. Actually TALKING about something forces them to have something meaningful to say back. I never say anything regarding a yes or no answer. Those are just dead ends (unless I am trying to end conversation).

    Yesterday I asked the girl who I have been chatting to in German class (I think she's an introvert) what her major was. She tells me anthropology, I mention blah blah. Go on from there. It's definitely easier to get girls talking, but with guys I just say something ridiculous or funny. I think it's all about being ~comfortable and confident.

    Or simply smile at someone. If you acknowledge someone they would usually say something to you eventually.

    But then again, I think that I have some type of ~gift. I usually find someone who is an introvert and turn them into an extrovert. You need to find someone who breaks you out of your shell, gives you that ounce of confidence

  5. #55
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    Greatest compliment EVER.

    (Wait---LOL--I hope that was a compliment! )

    EDIT:

    Also.....I really would have preferred:

    It was.

    But he didn't have teh G0ggL3s!

    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    Do you consider that maybe the E might feel exhausted from introverting? That is, from trying to bottle up their natural urge to externalize, for fear of your disapproving, impatient, silent frowns?
    Isn't that what I implied by saying you had a point? That each preference has an effect on the other...

    I don't do disapproving silent smiles btw...I try to be as frank as possible about needing to recharge. I'm certainly not going to judge you as a person for being an extravert (duh, we both need our energy). Sometimes (as in you're in my face after I told you I need some alone time - I have an estP brother who loves to do that), though, I will tell you the effect of your behaviour on me is very painful and to please fuck off*. :p I never hold it against him as I know it's just the result of the way he is and the way I am combined...next time I see him, it's just jokes like old times (unless he really crosses the line)...plus you peoples are fun times!

    I do great with EPs outside of my home (they tend to also respect boundaries more - and I guess I make more of an effort), but an immature one relying on his family only for feedback inside my recharging hole can be a challenge (for both of us)...it's like he sucks the energy right out of us at times. I keep suggesting he goes out and finds friends because I feel that we can't give him enough feedback and I feel for him when I ask him to go away, but he doesn't want to. It's starting to become a vicious circle.

    Lots of pros too, though, he's an entertainer, really shakes it up...

    Do you want to be a KitKat?

    *It is unfair in a way that it seems more acceptable to dismiss someone for recharging purposes than it is to hold someone hostage for it. However, my dismissing doesn't block you from recharging (elsewhere), whereas your holding hostage does block me.

  6. #56
    Senior Member substitute's Avatar
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    firstly I wasn't addressing all my previous post to you dude, just what you said sparked off the more general points I made.

    secondly, if someone tells me they'd rather not chat right now and just fancy a bit of peace - no problemo. I go elsewhere; I'm never short of places to go or people to see. It's when they just sit and stare at me, or make those faces that seem to say "you're wrong and stupid, but not worth correcting or engaging with" - whether that is what they're thinking or not, it's what my insecurity tends to make of what they give me, perhaps.

    thirdly, I was talking about a committee meeting, which is surely supposed to be about people airing their opinions! surely it's the one place where you shouldn't be expected to keep all your thoughts to yourself!!! that's what made that one so unbearable - it wasn't just on a personal level, but I felt like the very nature of the majority of committee members prevented the committee from being able to fulfill its function!!

    fourthly (more generally, not to you per se, but the other stuff was also aimed generally too), etiquette and manners and all that is generally supposed to be for the purpose of making people considerate towards the needs of the people around them, putting others first. if everyone is making an effort towards that, then I think you tend to meet in the middle at an acceptable point, where everyone's able to relax, yet responsibly, so as not to encroach upon others beyond their comfort point. I think though, that a lot of the kind of individualism that's encouraged in popular culture ends up reversing that process - instead, I sometimes find myself in group situations where everyone's thinking about "what I need for me right now" and trying to make sure they get it, so in fact putting themselves first, and it ends up with nobody really being happy and everyone feeling encroached upon.

    As an addendum, SP's tend not to number etiquette as one of their strongest points, in my experience of them It's not that they don't want to be considerate, it's more that you need to whack them in the head with a sledgehammer to get your point across, because polite and subtle hints don't tend to get you very far
    Ils se d�merdent, les mecs: trop bon, trop con..................................MY BLOG!

    "When it all comes down to dust
    I will kill you if I must
    I will help you if I can" - Leonard Cohen

  7. #57
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by substitute View Post
    firstly I wasn't addressing all my previous post to you dude, just what you said sparked off the more general points I made.

    secondly, if someone tells me they'd rather not chat right now and just fancy a bit of peace - no problemo. I go elsewhere; I'm never short of places to go or people to see. It's when they just sit and stare at me, or make those faces that seem to say "you're wrong and stupid, but not worth correcting or engaging with" - whether that is what they're thinking or not, it's what my insecurity tends to make of what they give me, perhaps.

    thirdly, I was talking about a committee meeting, which is surely supposed to be about people airing their opinions! surely it's the one place where you shouldn't be expected to keep all your thoughts to yourself!!! that's what made that one so unbearable - it wasn't just on a personal level, but I felt like the very nature of the majority of committee members prevented the committee from being able to fulfill its function!!

    fourthly (more generally, not to you per se, but the other stuff was also aimed generally too), etiquette and manners and all that is generally supposed to be for the purpose of making people considerate towards the needs of the people around them, putting others first. if everyone is making an effort towards that, then I think you tend to meet in the middle at an acceptable point, where everyone's able to relax, yet responsibly, so as not to encroach upon others beyond their comfort point. I think though, that a lot of the kind of individualism that's encouraged in popular culture ends up reversing that process - instead, I sometimes find myself in group situations where everyone's thinking about "what I need for me right now" and trying to make sure they get it, so in fact putting themselves first, and it ends up with nobody really being happy and everyone feeling encroached upon.

    As an addendum, SP's tend not to number etiquette as one of their strongest points, in my experience of them It's not that they don't want to be considerate, it's more that you need to whack them in the head with a sledgehammer to get your point across, because polite and subtle hints don't tend to get you very far
    You don't want to be a KitKat, that's disturbing.

    I'm female.

    I missed the committee meeting edit, but I know *exactly* how you feel about that. I'm very vocal during meetings/classes, I offer my opinions and am there for brainstorming, but often leave very frustrated because I have the idea that people just *won't* cooperate - I suspect it's the Te, and the Ni gives me good brainstorm material. I've felt very alone because noone could/would interact with my opinions, only - like you say - look at me suspiciosuly. Maybe part of their thing is feeling that everything you say has to be *right*, whatever that is, or simply not caring. This is bigger than I-E IMO...fucked-up office culture much? Well, anyway, sounds like I know how you feel with the staring thing.

    Don't worry I do sledgehammer pretty well.

  8. #58
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    i wish i could be as extraverted with everyone regardless of whatever vibe i pick up from them....sometimes...i just got nothin....but usually....i relate to someone on some level and instantly know what kind of questions to ask...or i feel at ease being jokey with them...i think i'm most comfortable just talking to them like i've known them for awhile...like the way i would a good friend...you know teasing them about something...or making some jokey comment...but...mostly it's about being comfortable enough not to filter.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  9. #59
    Senior Member Snow Turtle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cenomite View Post
    I don't think I have any specific things I try and do besides what I already said. Even if you're introverted, you should be able to use what I said about myself to help you out somewhat if you decide that it's good advice. You, being an introvert, probably know better than me how to talk to introverts specifically.

    There aren't any specific extroverted traits that I can give you, I just naturally talk to people because it's what makes me happy and gives me energy. Any traits or ways I develop are just natural effects of that and are directly linked and dependant on my personalty. I can't really describe em, and even if I could I'm not sure that they would be the same detached from their environment (my personality).
    That's the primary reason that you talk?

    On the topic. I have this problem interacting with introverts. It's certainly quite odd since we know we both get on well with each other, there's a sense of familarity and friendship but we hardly ever talk. It's just really bizzare...

    The extraverts definitely draw out much more conversations from me, or useless "Wah" or acting silly comments. Think about 60-70% of my interaction with my closest friends are of this sort... "Muahaha Kirby owned you!". Occasionally I'll have the deeper conversations with people but it's rather limited, you sort of reach a point where it's...

    Dreams - Check
    Future - Check
    Past - Check
    Anime - Check
    Hobbies - Check
    Values - Check
    Subject - Check

    After a while all that seems to remain is the same ol' stuff and most people (at least me) don't really want to be repeating things over and over again. It sort of connects with my personality... I'm one to talk when I want to share information or learn something from other people or about others. I find it difficult to talk for the sake of maintaining a flowing conversation and it's very apparant in my voice.

    You know it when I sound like a Q&A robot.

    Do extraverts talk to collect information? As I feel that's my primary reason when talking. Guess one thing that I am aware of is that I can get so caught up in my own thoughts, and data that I forget about the other person, talking to them just becomes a case of gathering facts from them (thinking of people in terms of a social psychology data sort of way).

    Perhaps people can detect that sort of thing...? You're holding a survey and collecting data on general people, rather than the focusing on learning about the actual individual? Hmm, my best conversations always come from when I'm actually interested in learning about someone to really get to know them, rather than wanting to hold a conversation. It's not data collection in a generalised manner but specific.

    I've asked this before in the past and I didn't get much of a decent answer...

    Why are extraverted people actually interested in learning about other people? What's the point of the data? Or was the focus never about the data?

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wonkavision View Post
    I've developed Introversion to a point where I'm practically an "ambivert", and I get along best with Introverts who have developed Extraversion.
    What a truly wonderful thing to hear, especially from an extravert! I've known introverts with well-developed extroverted abilities and I think they're the best conversationalists -- very thoughtful and really interesting. On the other hand, I've also known some introverts who just like to hear themselves talk -- nothing is worse. At least egotistical extraverts know they have an audience; egotistical introverts are their own audience -- they don't seem to have a clue why you're there. Probably the best conversationalists have well developed introversion and extroversion, no matter which is their best function.

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