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  1. #1
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    Default post-abortion stress

    i might be asking for it, and i'm certainly putting myself on the line here, but please bear with me. it's been a tough week.
    this week, had everything gone normally, i would have given birth to my first child. i had an abortion earlier this year (my birthday, ironically) and lapse occasionally into grief. i've always been fiercely pro-choice, but it can be a different issue when it applies to you personally.

    i haven't told many people, though none of my close friends can really relate. and statistically, i probably know some older women who could relate, but they haven't shared..

    just wondering, would anyone care to speak out about their experiences? i'm not looking for judgment, though thanks in advance. seems most of the "resources" online are religion-based and condemn abortion. legitimate, but not what i'm looking for. thanks.
    "Develop interest in life as you see it...the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." -- H. Miller
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  2. #2
    Senior Member syckkz's Avatar
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    Well, I know I ain't a female. But I remember talking to my dad's wife at the time about her abortion, and she was in very deep depression about it.. even years later after it had happened she had a hard time talking about it.

    I think that when you lose something like that especially as a woman with those instincts you start to wonder.. what if? I know that a lot of women do have really bad depression and sadness after this happens.. It would be normal to feel those ways you know

    Again, this is just what I've experienced
    Always be sincere, whether you mean it or not.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Your avatar suddenly has clarity.

    May I ask, what is the most prominent thought in your head, the one that seems to be on 'repeat', specifically, regarding this issue?

  4. #4
    triple nerd score poppy's Avatar
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    I don't have any experience with this Demi, but I can only imagine it must be a very emotional experience.

    "There's no need to be embarrassed about it, Mr. Spock. It happens to the birds and the bees!"

  5. #5
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    I'm not a women, but I couldn't help but do a google search and found a very active support forum for people with post-abortion issues. So just in case you haven't found it, here: passboards.org

  6. #6
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    You're very courageous to put yourself out here like this, although I know you also are hoping to receive some strength in return.

    i can't say that I have been through what you have. However, if I had had an abortion, I can imagine a host of feelings about it (usually imagining and playing out various possibilities in my mind, the roads not traveled; wondering if I had done the right thing and whether I should have gone a different route; wondering how people might view me; etc.) Very complicated, very painful, and no easy way to resolve those feelings other than internally learning to accept the decision.

    If someone here has some experiences they'd like to share but don't feel comfortable posting openly, e-mail or PMs are a good alternative.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #7
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    This is in the context of a woman (self-proclaimed ENTJ) who had two abortions for the sake of her career, and the take home message from her experiences at the end is career-related...

    But she shares her candid experiences with choosing the abortions, and her experiences at the doctor's, and many people commented with their own experiences. FWIW.

    Probably not what you're looking for specifically, but grief shared is halved.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  8. #8
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    ^ thanks for all the responses
    i have been on the passboards forum briefly, but haven't clicked with anyone or anything. it's a strangely designed forum, and kind of a weird atmosphere. plus, they don't seem to limit signature sizes, and i'm tired of scrolling through blinking hearts and kitties, etc.

    jennifer's right, PMs might be better here.

    thanks again, you're all wonderful!
    "Develop interest in life as you see it...the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." -- H. Miller
    -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
    Johari the good..
    Nohari.. the bad, and the ugly

    I'm a FiNe SiTe to see!

  9. #9
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    I have gone all cold reading this.

    16th September 2005. I will never forget the day. I did it because i didn't want to have another child and it got in the way of my future plans (how selfish).
    I never spoke about the guilt (at the time) to anyone including my husband. I was so ashamed even though i knew i did the right thing.
    At some point i talked to my mum and she told me she had also had an abortion in the past. There were a lot of tears that day. It took some of the weight off my shoulders.
    It does pop up occasionally even now. I can't change the past though so i just take accountability and tell myself everything happens for a reason.

    I saw a psychic in March this year for certain reasons. She mentioned my 3 children, i told her i only had 2. She said 2 boys and a girl (i knew i was carrying a girl). She told me to let go of the guilt as she (the little girl) understands.
    Now each to their own, some people believe in that, some don't.
    That helped me though no end.


    EDIT - If you want to have a chat, PM me OK.
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  10. #10
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