I think there's two different things going on in terms of thinking processes...
1. T vs F
2. N vs S
Your wife's (and my) system of thinking (N) is different than your's (S). So the "making them think before they react" might simply due to a process of translating what you've said in "S language" into something understandable by the "N system". Therefore a T vs F comparison here has an extra step in between.
*scratches head* Do you know of any ESFP or ISFP? Perhaps a thought flow comparison with them will be easier to handle.