Introducing blind spot, Case Santtu.
Ok. I'll tell where I'm seeking a blind spot of mine. I'll write my case with many words, but I'll write much more concise to discuss it.
I'm quite motivated by reward. Still, I was very lazy in my childhood, but I managed to concentrate for the necessary time for mostly anything I needed to concentrate for. So I managed my life without being too organized. I managed most my life being essentially P.
I had troubles, and I had to organize. I noticed I had talent for it - but, I had talent for being spontaneous, I had talent for being organized. My organization was more directed to my understanding of some system, not as much to administrating it. I have been an utterly terrible adminstrator of anything for most of my life, until now.
Given all this information, I present this problem: I've long ago decided to go for a rewarding job, which I'm well capable of, talent-wise. Ok. 2 years ago. I've drawn countless plans, pictures and such showing that I'd better start working. I do work, I'm trusted upon, I can work. I do work. Sometimes I'm suspected as a workaholic. Some think I'm a hedonist.
I don't think I find satisfaction with the amount of progress and the amount free time I have available for me.
At the end of the day, I satisfy for less that I'd be capable of having. I don't do the work I intended to, not even the work I was looking forward to do.
I'm striving to be an engineer, it consultant (been that), system administrator (been that), top salesman (been that), but somehow I often act as if it didn't mean a damn, although when I dream of it, it sometimes feels good.
What's my blind spot?
And hell, I don't know what it is. I just guess there's a blind spot involved. What do you want to ask of me?
Edit: Btw. I had some satisfaction in those jobs, but I didn't work hard enough to keep them. I hate if my company forces me to work too hard. I've looked for greener grass on the other side.