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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    From my experience I think telling someone "I'm complicated" is usually a presumptuous thing to say. Or even pompous. Like saying "I'm special.
    Agreed. Usually I think women who are often overlooked or treated as sex objects use "I'm complicated" to rationalize why they make choices in their relationships.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Cerpin_Taxt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CzeCze View Post
    From my experience I think telling someone "I'm complicated" is usually a presumptuous thing to say. Or even pompous. Like saying "I'm special. I'm different from everyone else. I'm so special and so different that a normal boring unspecial person such as yourself could NEVER hope to understand me. So I'm not even going to bother. You're not worth it and that's how complicated I am".

    It sounds really high school to me, which is fine if you are still in adolescence because when you are in adolescence you are supposed to be basically emerging from your consciousness coccoon and realizing yourself and the world around you.

    But, yes EVERYONE is complicated. Everyone is unique, different, special, etc. in their own individual, unique, different, special way. Even people who are direct and transparent about their immediate feelings and desires and seem like such simple people have complicated non-straight line idiosyncracies. That's why being human is so fun.

    So in my POV it's unnecessary to say "I'm complicated" unless you are trying to make it a point to make it known you think you are different from everyone else and normal people can't understand you. Which again, is why I think it usually smacks of some kind of self-importance.

    I agree with another poster. "it's complicated" referring to a situation I can underestand. Meaning it's too much trouble or takes too much time than you care to spend to get into it.
    Your just jealous because you don't have layers like I do.

    I'm just gonna throw this out there, you can make of it what you will; but did ever occur to anyone that people who say 'I'm complicated' may well actually be complicated...it's just a theory and I cant explain it any better then that because well I'm complicated, so bugger off.
    One by one, over the months, the other bulbs burn out, and are gone. The first few of these hit Byron hard. He's still a new arrival, still hasn't accepted his immortality. But on through the burning hours he starts to learn about the transience of others: learns that loving them while they're here becomes easier, and also more intenseóto love as if each design-hour will be the last.

    Thomas Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow

    I can't go on, I'll go on.

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  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cerpin_Taxt View Post
    Your just jealous because you don't have layers like I do.
    Most women who have lots of layers usually tend not to advertise it straight away.

  4. #34
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I'm not really sure what people mean when they say this. I heard it again last night by a friend of mine and I puzzled a bit. Usually when someone makes this comment I find they're making an excuse for behavior that is misleading and contradictory. This is not indicative of complexity to me.

    I consider myself transparent person, which means I don't try to hide or obscure the mechanics of who I am. When people say they're "complex" what do they mean? Is saying "I'm complicated" suppose to pass for self-awareness and introspection? Is it saying that I'm a deep and thoughtful person, or is is a warning that they're really self-involved?

    That phrase is almost beginning to sound hackneyed like "I'm an out of the box thinker." No one really knows what that means, but nearly everyone thinks they do it.
    It is a friendly way to give you an excuse.
    A way of diplomacy.

  5. #35
    Junior Member ama's Avatar
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    Usually people who say "I'm complicated" aren't really that different from anyone else; they just think they are. I've only heard the phrase being said by moody kids in high school, and they seemed to be looking for attention. If someone really IS layered, "complicated" and "deep," they are probably wise enough to realize no one else gives a crap, and won't say that kind of thing.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #36
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    Besides the negative aspects, the words "I'm complicated" could also be used in a joking manner.

    ...I know because I've used it in that context before quite a few times. xD

    Example:

    Person: Why must you always blahblahblahblah?
    Firey: I'm complicated. xP ...Nah, just joking.

    ^ Sure, it's stupidly simple, but it works.

    "I'm complicated" can be used to dodge demands for an explaination of your character. Someone could ask what reasons you had for carrying out a certain action or for saying something and you could just say that you're complicated: eg, "I'm just weird that way, and it's all so messed up so I don't need to explain."

    The manner in which someone says "I'm complicated" also matters. It's okay if a person uses the term as a joke. The trouble is when someone uses the term and really means it in a: "I'm spehshul, so complicated that pitiful mortals cannot understand me, so I can look down on everyone else." sort of way.

    Yep.

  7. #37
    Rubber Nipple Salesperson ladypinkington's Avatar
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    I'm a simple woman with complicated needs and my husband is a complicated man with simple needs.
    Me and hubby made an RPG Nutrition Game
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  8. #38
    Senior Member TenebrousReflection's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    I'm not really sure what people mean when they say this. I heard it again last night by a friend of mine and I puzzled a bit. Usually when someone makes this comment I find they're making an excuse for behavior that is misleading and contradictory. This is not indicative of complexity to me.
    I'm not sure how often I use that phrase in a self-referential way, but I do sometimes view myself that way (usually when I'm trying to find a way to articulate my thoughts for others). In context to myself, I would say it because, I really don't think like most people and to get people to understand me, it requires a lot of explanation as to how I arrived at my beliefs and why I feel as I do about certain matters. Looking at how I think is like looking at a complex if then else loop structure but instead of logic being the decision factor, feeling usually is so that takes even more effort to articulate into words and try to explain to others. This is further complicated by bringing in intuition inspired beliefs that even I can't explain to myself (I've learned to accept "it just is, don't question it" as an excuse to myself but its a lot more difficult to explain to others that I believe something with no reasoning behind it). When I do try to explain my internal thoughts to others, I do often get confused looks and it takes a lot of step by step explanation of my thought process and convoluted reasoning to get the message to them in terms they will understand (and even then I'm not so sure they are not faking understanding to shut me up). Rather than telling someone I'm complicated, I'm more likely to evaluate if they might be able to understand my thoughts and if not, just keep quiet unless directly questioned.

  9. #39
    Senior Member chatoyer's Avatar
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    Default I agree with CzeCze

    I've come to think of the self-referential statement "I'm complicated" negatively. It just seems like a pride thing, often uttered by NFs who are obsessed with identity, or Ns in general, feeling marginalized by all the Ss. And I'm guilty of it!

    The height of this thinking for me was in college. I'm still initially attracted to the morally ambiguous, the artsy, the unconventional, the nonconformist, the well-traveled, the super-educated.

    But now, as I gain more life experience, I'm really paying attention to and valuing people's character more........and there's beauty in being simple, doing the right thing.

    I just went to a funeral of a man in his 60's who was called simple & ordinary by many standards--he lived an ordinary life, married his high school sweetheart, enjoyed good food, provided well for his family, cherished his guy friends that he played golf with often, went to church regularly . But he was extraordinary in that he was a man of great character--he was loved by so many people from all areas of his life--work, home, church, organizations.

    I really admire that. And I think a lot of Ns can be critical of the SJs & the SPs who just do things, good things, we get caught up in how they could do it better, or that the organization is less than perfect, & we do nothing! It's easy to be a critic & not held responsible for our human, less than perfect actions.

    /sorry mild rant-

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post

    I really admire that. And I think a lot of Ns can be critical of the SJs & the SPs who just do things, good things, we get caught up in how they could do it better, or that the organization is less than perfect, & we do nothing! It's easy to be a critic & not held responsible for our human, less than perfect actions.

    /sorry mild rant-
    I agree it's easy to be a critic. I'm a critic but I also think I'm a doer! I'm a winner!

    Hahahaha. Seriously though, there is nothing worse than an apathetic critic...wait, that sounds like a contradiction in terms. But many of us are guilty of doing it at one point, some more than others. For some it's a state of being!

    I don't understand why people are criticized for being of good character and old-fashioned or just literal. Almost above all else I value HONESTY and AUTHENTICITY. I prefer authenticity to originality, because frankly, 'originality' is subjective and frankly not everyone can be 'Original' with a capital O, nor should they. And I prefer honest kindness to smart-ass cutting remarks, no matter how witty they are.

    I think it's funny because it's easy to couch this tension in terms of youth vs. maturity, rebellion vs. establishment. It reminds me how surprised I was when I learned how the traditional young white educated middle class American hippie or counterculturalist is also FUCKING FILTHY and don't get me started on the typical activist male -- can we say womanizer?

    It's just hilarious to me how people who hang their hat on being so better than so different from than the establishment actually propogate and excercise the same things they criticize or else so clearly are just indulging in their own weaknesses and vices and then trying to make it sound noble by tacking a 'higher cause' to it. Not necessarily "I'm complicated" but "I'm COMPLEX, I'm new, I'm different, I'm a rebel, etc." No dude, you are LLLAAAAZZZZYY and exactly same as what you propose to hate you just have a different dress code.

    Oh, how this makes me laugh.

    I do respect and acknowledge the extremely small percentage of social justice workers, anarchists, radicals, etc. who really THINK and WORK outside the box to change society and institutions for the better. But this is a SMALL percentage of the much larger world of disaffected and posturing self-defined 'counterculture' types. I think there is a much larger and also more socially accepted and condoned contigent of 'traditionalists' especially religious affiliations who are more about comforting the sick and feeding the hungry than necessarily fixing the root of the problems of hunger and poverty nor are they really concered with 'changing the world' but god bless their kindness!

    How was this related to the OP? It's funny how far off course you can find yourself 3 pages later when you start getting 1/2 a degree off course...

    But um, let me bring it back to "I'm complicated" -- I don't think everyone who does this is fishing for compliments or is being pretentious. I think some people have really thought about it, or realize what a wide gap there is between them and the 'norms' of other people and they themselves are confused. So "I'm complicated" can just mean, "from my observation, I'm very different from other people and I don't quite get it either why that is, so that's my answer".

    Wow, even I forget what my point was. Let's keep on track people! Hahahaha...

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