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  1. #11
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post

    And interestingly, they don't feel the same thing as the normal.

    So sympathy, which means feeling the same as, it not much use to the gifted or to those of low IQ.

    And it is by positive disintegration that the gifted are able to move from sympathy to empathy.

    While for the normal, sympathy works.

    And the normal, in spite of what they say, can't see the distinction between sympathy and empathy.
    How can you say that they don't "feel the same thing as the normal"?
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  2. #12
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victor View Post
    So you might say the gifted see a brighter, clearer picture.
    So you can see the gifted don't see the same thing as the normal.
    And interestingly, they don't feel the same thing as the normal.

    So sympathy, which means feeling the same as, it not much use to the gifted or to those of low IQ.

    And it is by positive disintegration that the gifted are able to move from sympathy to empathy.
    So what is your personal narrative in regards to positive disintegration? It sounds like you have one but haven't yet described it, focusing instead on a broad conceptual level.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

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  3. #13
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    Hmm... I think the IQ is not what Dabrowski meant. The OE means that when you get (emotionally) hit, it hurts more than with normal people. You will have more motivation to go through the process. The IQ might have an effect to the success of the integration, though. Maybe its like a labyrinth of thoughts that you need to pass. The intelligent person finds a way more easily.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It took a long time for me to realize not everyone had that drive and some either don't see it or they're just happy where they are.
    Yes, this seems very strange for me too...

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    How can you say that they don't "feel the same thing as the normal"?
    Their feeling are more intense. I'm sure they still have the same basic emotions.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    How can you say that they don't "feel the same thing as the normal"?
    How can I say it?

    From personal experience - from belonging to a gifted group for five years - and from the literature.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    So what is your personal narrative in regards to positive disintegration? It sounds like you have one but haven't yet described it, focusing instead on a broad conceptual level.
    Yeah, I feel more comfortable on the broad conceptual level.

    I need to protect myself emotionally so I share my personal experience with my gifted group.

    In the gifted group my experience is normal - here it is exotic.

    Here my emotional experience arouses unconscious emotional defences. And after a while it becomes tiresome dealing with the emotional defences of others for no good purpose.

    I recognise the broad conceptual level does keep me emotionally distant from you.

    And this is the price I pay for emotionally protecting myself.

  7. #17
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    If you have high OE, why don't you go disintegrate? Would get rid of those defenses.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    Their feeling are more intense. I'm sure they still have the same basic emotions.
    It is the intensity and quickness of the emotion - like quicksilver.

    When I am talking to a gifted person, it is like flowing water. But when I am talking to a normal person it is like treacle.

    Also you must realise there is tremendous pressure to conform. If you are normal, you don't notice the pressure at all. It's like your internal pressure is the same as the external social pressure, and so there is nothing to feel. It is invisible to you.

    I think I would have to say that the emotions are not the same.

    Or I might say, the emotions in a gifted group are the same, and the emotions in a normal group are the same.

    But the emotions in a gifted group and the emotions in a normal group are different.

    And of course when normal parents have a gifted child, it is no wonder we have the drama of a gifted child.

    I would like to emphasize that the gifted are very tiny in number.

    It is commonly thought that we are all gifted but in reality almost all of us are normal.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by nolla View Post
    If you have high OE, why don't you go disintegrate? Would get rid of those defenses.
    Why don't I go disintegrate?

    The defences I refer to are psychological defences and they are unconscious. We are unaware when we are being defensive.

    If I am consciously defending myself emotionally against you, this is not a psychological defence because I am conscious of doing it - I am consciously choosing to do it.

    It sounds to me though, you are a little threatened by me. And, "why don't you go disintegrate", sounds like, "why don't you go get f**cked".

    And, why don't I go get f**cked - because I have too much self respect.

  10. #20
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    Umm... I didn't mean to send that message. I really did want to know why you choose to live in a state of stress if you could change it. Or is there really an option? Do you think it just "happens"?

    I supposed that the unconscious defenses must also change in the process, while I think the process itself has to be at least partially conscious.

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