Control

[Asterion]

[edit]: I think I might actually give these questions some kind of structure to make it easier~
In what way do you need to have control?
Do you control people?
Why do you/do you not control control people?
How would you rate your self-control?
When someone tries to control you, how do you react to it?
Are you the kind of person who happily lets everyone else take control?
Do you have control over your life?

It'd be cool to hear some kind of possible reasons behind the various styles of control you exhibit . I'd like to see if there's any sort of difference between Ps, Js, Es, Is, and specific types in general.

I'll make a start:
I don't desire to control others, When I don't get my own way, so long as there's a good reason why I don't get it, I'm not going to force anything to happen. I'm quite happy to sit back and let others lead the way, so long as they are capable. When I notice that they might not be capable, I question their actions, choices, (etc.), and take charge when I don't think anybody else can do a better job. I generally like the idea of letting go of my self control, but I'm often quite conscious of how other people might view my behavior .

 

[LostInNerSpace]

^^

In what way do you need to have control?

 

[Saslou]

In what way do you need to have control?
I need to have control over my actions and feelings. Now more passive and just letting the chips fall as they may.

Do you control people?
I used to big time, to the best of my abilities. Now i'm on my soul searching mission, i don't bother.

Why do you/do you not control people?
For every action, there is a reaction. Control is negative and not worth the stress, time and hassle.

How would you rate your self-control?
Out of 10, my self control is about a 6, i think. A year ago, zero.

When someone tries to control you, how do you react to it?
Don't even try it. I have had to many important people control me in my life and i'm the only one who seems to be screwed up over it.

Are you the kind of person who happily lets everyone else take control?
No, i don't mind sharing but i need to feel like i have contributed.

Do you have control over your life?
Depends on how you look at it. I have tried to control every aspect in my life and it didn't work so now i am trying the opposite and just going with the flow, see what happens. Life's grand plan for me is still going to happen no matter if i stress/control it or not. Taking a back seat for a while.

 

[Eiddy]

I heard it once said that, "A truly wise man is in total control of himself."

While it is near impossible to control another, unless s/he is a young child (or my own unger age children), I try not to control others as that gives them permission to exert control over me. Ok, I do ask my own kids to help around the house, that's to be expected of course, but over other people? Nope, and I wouldn't want it either.

As for control over me, well as long as it pertains to a competent boss, no problem. If s/he shows incompetence then I will try to show them the logical or practical application of doing something better. If that doesn't change anything, well it's their personal business.

Self control? Well I have built up a pretty good amount of self control, the only time I might start to let the steam show is when under intense and constant pressure. So high stress jobs are definitely not for me. I guess it comes to down to knowing what you can and can't handle.

With others emotional outbursts, I try to just rationalize that they are either under intense pressure or they are suffering severe mental problems. That it doesn't have anything to do with me, if I don't know them. If I do know them, well I haven't face a personal attack of someone emotional outbursts being directed at me. Although, I do feel very uncomfortable hearing or seeing them.

 

[substitute]

quite pervesely, I keep control by making other people take it.

that is, I know my strength is reacting, Ne is a reactive function, but I need something to react to or against, so by making other people take action, they provide me with something to react to and thereby come onto my territory, where I'm at the advantage, specially if they're J's

 

[Asterion]

quite pervesely, I keep control by making other people take it.

that is, I know my strength is reacting, Ne is a reactive function, but I need something to react to or against, so by making other people take action, they provide me with something to react to and thereby come onto my territory, where I'm at the advantage, specially if they're J's

Clever clever, take control of the controllers. I'll keep that one in mind, it could come in handy

 

[Coeur]

I somehow manage to be submissive and dominant at the same time. On the outside, I appear very submissive. I let people walk all over than me. But I have an inner strength that I would describe as dominance. Those who know me know that I am NOT submissive. I'm dominant, but timid and insecure.

Bringing that to your questions...
=In what way do you need to have control?
I'd prefer to be in charge than to be under incompetant people. If the person is competant and deserves the position, I don't mind at all if they have a higher position than me. Of course, I obey them either way. I'd rather work alone than in a group that is holding me back.

=Why do you/do you not control people?
I don't think I'm controlling. If anything, I'm way too leniant. I do not want to control people. I think that they should do what is best for them, not just what is best for me.

=How would you rate your self-control?
Pretty good, mostly because my emotions are internalized so much. They never have a chance to come out.

=When someone tries to control you, how do you react to it?
Once I am aware of it, I get irritated and try to pull away. I usually end up justifying what they're doing, though. For some reason, other people have the "right" to trample me, even though I don't give myself the "right" to do anything remotely unkind to them at all.

=Are you the kind of person who happily lets everyone else take control?
Yes and no. I don't like being restrained for stupid reasons.

=Do you have control over your life?
I think so. I'm getting better at it.

 

[Phantonym]

In what way do you need to have control?
I need to have control feeling that I'm not pressured into anything. I need to feel that my decisions are mine and not affected by others. That everything I do and think is resultant of my own actions and not because I was pressured to do things.

Do you control people? Why do you/do you not control people?
Not really. Well, to an extent, yes. It's more like applying subtle leverage, but not seriously pressuring them into doing things, rather into seeing different possibilities to a problem and encouraging them to make up their own mind. But I guess it could be considered controlling because I am imposing slight pressure on them to look at things the way I look at things.

How would you rate your self-control?
I think my self-control is pretty good. Most of the time I'm in very good control of myself but there are times when things just blow up in my face and things get shaky a bit.

When someone tries to control you, how do you react to it?
Quite badly. I usually try to keep away from that person. Sometimes I let it happen for my own amusement because I want to see how far the person is willing to go and thus, I test them. But most of the time I fight it as hard as I can. But there's always this analyzing going on below the surface whether I can actually learn something from the situation when people attempt to control me.

Are you the kind of person who happily lets everyone else take control?
Maybe not happily but when it's beneficial to me and it means that I don't have to do as much work and I'm content with the outcome of others controlling the situation, I'm cool with it. But when I see that it's something that is not beneficial to me, I start to fight against it and take control of it myself.

Do you have control over your life?
Pretty much yes. But not as much as I would like to have. I feel that I am dependant on things that I have no control over even if I wanted to.

 

[substitute]

is self-control though, really just about how much of your inner workings or impulses you allow to show on the outside?

Or is it just as much about how well you control those thoughts and feelings within yourself, to disallow yourself from actually thinking or feeling, even inwardly, unconstructive/unfair/etc things?

For instance, I'm often perceived as having little self-control, cos I don't have much restraint at times over my mouth and stuff comes out that I wish later hadn't. But by the same token, I seldom really want to take back any of the things I've said, I just wish I hadn't said them at all. I stand by them and whatever I allow myself to think or feel has to go through quite a stringent grinder to even get circulation in my conscious thoughts, so if I do blurt it out and regret it, it's usually just cos I think the person/people present weren't ready for it or that expressing it was unconstructive at that time, not that I was actually wrong to think it at all...