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  1. #1
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Default Seeing things in terms of opportunities

    I've noticed that I have two severe handicaps in my ability to deal with the world.

    1. I don't know how to perceive opportunity in a given situation, or tend to rationalize it away as unrealistic, too good to be true (which it usually turns out to be).

    2. It's very hard for me to "just do" something. It's extremely hard for me to deal with being expected to continue investing energy in something that doesn't yield results the first several times I attempt it. My brain just starts going, "It's not working, let's try something else," and then I get extremely frustrated, angry, and confused when I realize that there isn't any other way to try... I'm just supposed to persist at the thing that isn't working despite having no good reason to think it will work.

    I have a feeling that learning to do the first one would be much more beneficial in the long run, than continuing to attempt the second one very poorly in-between long fits of whining and inactivity... which only builds up frustration.

    So, how does one learn to see things in terms of opportunities?

  2. #2
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    That's a good question. As you know, I'm not good with advice. And I am probably the exact opposite of you in this area, because I've never NOT seen things as opportunities and I don't know what it's like not to.

    I tell my son just to think about what he can get out of a situation, rather than what the problems are and what he has to complain about. I know that's easier said than done, though. I do relate to the part about giving up easily, I have done that a lot of my life as well. But I think having a son has actually helped me do that less, times where I simply had to stick with something whether I saw the use of it or not, and it has helped me to encourage my son to do the same thing.
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  3. #3
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    That's a good question. As you know, I'm not good with advice. And I am probably the exact opposite of you in this area, because I've never NOT seen things as opportunities and I don't know what it's like not to.
    Ah, that's okay. I think Ps are especially good at seeing opportunities.

    My problem is that I usually follow a path, but the path I was following has come to a dead end, and I find myself just sitting there, occasionally venturing off in one direction for a moment, but then rushing to the safety of that dead end when I get nervous.

    I feel confused because I've always been told what to do, and now it seems like everyone expects me to know how to see and respond to things I've never been told about before. I'm expected to "just know" and "just do," things that are actually very involved, but that I have no experience with.

    I suppose it's kind of like how I get confused about how to explain things to people who can't see how a computer, or some other complex abstraction works the first time I describe it... everyone else is confused about how to explain engaging people and the real world to me, because it's so automatic and they take it for granted, and they can barely conceive of someone not knowing it.

    I suppose I DO know how to engage the world, but it's an understanding more like that of a 7-12 year old. My intellect is way up at age 25, but my awareness of opportunities and how to do practical things is all the way at most people's age 12... at best.
    I tell my son just to think about what he can get out of a situation, rather than what the problems are and what he has to complain about. I know that's easier said than done, though. I do relate to the part about giving up easily, I have done that a lot of my life as well. But I think having a son has actually helped me do that less, times where I simply had to stick with something whether I saw the use of it or not, and it has helped me to encourage my son to do the same thing.
    Well, of course. If someone else needs you, and you're not just doing it for yourself, there's a lot more motivation. Especially if it's your child, I would imagine.

    I suppose that's the problem. I know what I want, and that there's a way to get what I want out of my current situation, I just don't know how to react, given my situation, in order to push things in that direction.

  4. #4
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    If I get stuck in a rut, I sometimes try to view myself from the outside and consider how I would approach the problem if it was being encountered by a friend of mine instead of me. It is like having an experiencing self and an observing self.

    It seems like ruts in thoughts or actions often result from faulty assumptions. I sometimes try to view my assumptions from the outside to see if there are problems there.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    If I get stuck in a rut, I sometimes try to view myself from the outside and consider how I would approach the problem if it was being encountered by a friend of mine instead of me. It is like having an experiencing self and an observing self.
    That idea is really interesting! I've never tried that before, but it sounds like it would be helpful. *filing it away*
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    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toonia View Post
    If I get stuck in a rut, I sometimes try to view myself from the outside and consider how I would approach the problem if it was being encountered by a friend of mine instead of me. It is like having an experiencing self and an observing self.

    It seems like ruts in thoughts or actions often result from faulty assumptions. I sometimes try to view my assumptions from the outside to see if there are problems there.
    That is one of the things I usually try. Used to do this constantly when I was little, to the point of being annoying. But as out of sorts and not myself as I've been lately, I'd better try it again now just to see...

    I'd probably tell them to avoid staying isolated, because that just keeps their inspiration dried up. I'd also suggest that they start attending job fairs, find a career counselor, take a class on writing resumes, sell off things they don't need, continue to put out applications, and of course politely send out e-mails and such asking about job opportunities to anyone who might listen, regardless of whether it "feels right."

    Huh. Actually pretty good advice. Okay, now I know WHAT I should do. Just have to figure out how. That should be easier.

  7. #7
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I've noticed that I have two severe handicaps in my ability to deal with the world.

    1. I don't know how to perceive opportunity in a given situation, or tend to rationalize it away as unrealistic, too good to be true (which it usually turns out to be).

    2. It's very hard for me to "just do" something. It's extremely hard for me to deal with being expected to continue investing energy in something that doesn't yield results the first several times I attempt it. My brain just starts going, "It's not working, let's try something else," and then I get extremely frustrated, angry, and confused when I realize that there isn't any other way to try... I'm just supposed to persist at the thing that isn't working despite having no good reason to think it will work.

    I have a feeling that learning to do the first one would be much more beneficial in the long run, than continuing to attempt the second one very poorly in-between long fits of whining and inactivity... which only builds up frustration.

    So, how does one learn to see things in terms of opportunities?
    It is as you say. It is unrealistic.

    You are the realist. You know what is what.
    The world is not made in your image.
    How to carve a niche to yourself?

    Forget esteem. Esteem is not money.
    Where is the money?
    It is where it changes hands.
    Not in the stock market.

    The stock market is about virtual money only. It is of no consequence.
    Money is a product of labour.

    Who is the highest bidder?
    It is the one who needs you.

    In essence you do not make money for what you are.
    You make money for what you can give.

    You have a potential client.
    Is your client of your kind?
    No.

    If she were of your kind she would not need you.

  8. #8
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wildcat View Post
    It is as you say. It is unrealistic.

    You are the realist. You know what is what.
    The world is not made in your image.
    How to carve a niche to yourself?

    Forget esteem. Esteem is not money.
    Where is the money?
    It is where it changes hands.
    Not in the stock market.

    The stock market is about virtual money only. It is of no consequence.
    Money is a product of labour.

    Who is the highest bidder?
    It is the one who needs you.

    In essence you do not make money for what you are.
    You make money for what you can give.

    You have a potential client.
    Is your client of your kind?
    No.

    If she were of your kind she would not need you.
    I would agree. Money is in the places where it actually goes. The stock market isn't a real indicator of where the money is, or where it's going... so perhaps the economy isn't as bad as is thought?

    Yes. But what is it that I can offer that would make someone need me enough to pay me, and where I do find them?

  9. #9
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    I would agree. Money is in the places where it actually goes. The stock market isn't a real indicator of where the money is, or where it's going... so perhaps the economy isn't as bad as is thought?

    Yes. But what is it that I can offer that would make someone need me enough to pay me, and where I do find them?
    A good question. I shall think about it.
    Only the dreamer is real. The dream is not.

  10. #10
    Senior Member durentu's Avatar
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    Provide what someone else wants or needs, regardless if you're good at it or not.

    Parenting is similar, you're never quite ready, but you provide what the child need and wants regardless if you're good at it or not.

    Anything that is of value (anything that someone wants or needs) can have a monetary number assigned to it. Whether 2 parties agree is a different matter.

    A good experiment is to not turn down requests. If someone asks you to help change their brakes, say yes. Someone wants to redo the entire file system, say yes (you might like this one). As you're away from your comfort zone, you'll find opportunities.

    Of course, opportunities aren't the easy way to do things, it just means a possibility of movement. If you're in your comfort zone, if you see the same walls all the time, there is no possibilityof movement, hence no opportunities. Gotta go for a walk. Saying yes to requests helps in this regard.

    Anytime someone wants or needs something, this is value. If you say yes, this is opportunity.

    That's basically it.

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