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Need for and fear of closeness at the same time

hommefatal

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Joined
Apr 11, 2009
Messages
938
That's a major symptom of Borderline.

It suits me very well. I always think "I'm so alone, I need a partner" but when I meet someone I fear they could hate me.
 

LostInNerSpace

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Jan 25, 2008
Messages
1,027
MBTI Type
INTP
What now? You can diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder at 15 (or try)? Either you've been watching too much Doogie Howser or you "accidently" typed a 1 instead of a 4.
 

hommefatal

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Apr 11, 2009
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938
What now? You can diagnose Borderline Personality Disorder at 15 (or try)? Either you've been watching too much Doogie Howser or you "accidently" typed a 1 instead of a 4.
Why not? It's just a trait. Many people act like that without being 'sick'. I just wanted to mention the relation to Borderline. I would even claim I am completely like Adolf Hitler just because normality is boring.
 

NewEra

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Dec 21, 2008
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3,104
MBTI Type
I
Why do you go crazy when you are affected by those things?
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
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5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
personal criticism, loneliness, obligations

You gotta respect yourself before respecting or admiring or loving others. If you have self-respect personal criticism won't phase you unless it is warranted, in which case, it doesn't hurt you either because you see the logic behind it. The point of closeness is definitely not loneliness. If if you feel lonely when you are with someone, it's probably because you are feeling judged which goes back to personal criticism and self-respect. Same with obligations or expectations. If your conscience is clear you don't have to care about what others expect of you.
 

hommefatal

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Apr 11, 2009
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938
Who wouldn't?



:hug: I can relate to that.
:hug:
You gotta respect yourself before respecting or admiring or loving others. If you have self-respect personal criticism won't phase you unless it is warranted, in which case, it doesn't hurt you either because you see the logic behind it. The point of closeness is definitely not loneliness. If if you feel lonely when you are with someone, it's probably because you are feeling judged which goes back to personal criticism and self-respect. Same with obligations or expectations. If your conscience is clear you don't have to care about what others expect of you.
It is more that I act like a lunatic and extremely closed-minded racist sexist nazis tell me I am scum. If there's then someone who says something similar I feel bad.
 

Moiety

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Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
It is more that I act like a lunatic and extremely closed-minded racist sexist nazis tell me I am scum. If there's then someone who says something similar I feel bad.

People don't like "lunatics" so you can't be surprised. How about trying to heal your "lunatic" status instead?
 

Moiety

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Joined
Aug 3, 2008
Messages
5,996
MBTI Type
ISFJ
not so good, normal behaviour is boring.

Are you trying to say I'm boring just because I'm not a lunatic? Choose your words carefully for I might loose my temper. Yeah, like lunatics do.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Are you trying to say I'm boring just because I'm not a lunatic? Choose your words carefully for I might loose my temper. Yeah, like lunatics do.

ooooh...watch out kids!
ahhh1gv.gif
 

hommefatal

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Apr 11, 2009
Messages
938
Okay. Imo, that's a good characteristic to have, just as long as you don't become indiscreet/indecent.
People don't like it.
Ah, but do you find crazy behavior to be interesting?
Yeah, my brain needs such exercise. Normal behaviour is not exercising.
Are you trying to say I'm boring just because I'm not a lunatic? Choose your words carefully for I might loose my temper. Yeah, like lunatics do.
No. I just want to say lunatic behaviour is more of a challenge and thus more interesting.
 
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