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  1. #11
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
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    I think I can translate his german. This is what it says, I believe. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Etropie. xD)

    I believe you took the first steps of solving your problem by visiting this site. What you can discover here can help you better understand yourself and remove the need to rely on others.
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  2. #12
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Yes, sry I should PM such answers. Your translation is very good, the last part should have meant something like: "to be too highly susceptible to other people opinions about you"
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #13
    The Duchess of Oddity Queen Kat's Avatar
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    Thank you Fluffy!
    I was sitting outside the classroom waiting to go in, and I saw an airplane hit the tower. The TV was obviously on. I used to fly myself and I said, "There's one terrible pilot."
    - George W. Bush -


    SCUAI - 7w8 sx/sp - Chaotic Evil - Fucking Cute - ALIVE

    Blog. Read it, bitches.
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    If you don't agree about my MBTI type, you can complain about it here. I've had plenty of people telling me I'm something else, in my reputation box. That's annoying.

  4. #14
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    It's getting better every day.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
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    It sounds like you're more other directed than inner directed, recognising that is a start, like what you posted demonstrates insight.

    I'd keep a log and compare what is actually happening, as in what is known for a fact, with what is supposition, your own mind reaching conclusions ahead of the facts. It can work to identify and then overcome irrational, negative internal dialogue, it can be used for self-image, relationships, lots of things.

    The problem is that people treat people as they have been treated by others instead of how they themselves would like to be treated, its a cultural thing, so it can lead to patterns of domineering or submissive behaviour, people play games or obey unconscious or semi-conscious internal scripts instead of being themselves.

    I'm not master of this myself and I work hard to maintain an inner directed pattern as opposed to an other directed pattern of thinking and behaviour, I can fall back into the other directed sort easily enough. Neuro-psychologists would suggest its a result development I cant undo, my attachment style etc. which are stamped on my brain by now, all I can hope for is to cope well enough with it and realise others are the same, copeing with their own imprints.

    I benefited from reading Eric Fromm's book Art of Loving, Fear of Freedom, To Have or To Be? on the one hand and Jung's perspective about seeking archetypes of maleness or femaleness in others. Just imagine that you could be drawn to someone not simply because they are who they are but because they represent Woman or Man to you, that's a hell of a big deal, likely to result in expectations no one could match.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    It sounds like you're more other directed than inner directed, recognising that is a start, like what you posted demonstrates insight.

    I'd keep a log and compare what is actually happening, as in what is known for a fact, with what is supposition, your own mind reaching conclusions ahead of the facts. It can work to identify and then overcome irrational, negative internal dialogue, it can be used for self-image, relationships, lots of things.

    The problem is that people treat people as they have been treated by others instead of how they themselves would like to be treated, its a cultural thing, so it can lead to patterns of domineering or submissive behaviour, people play games or obey unconscious or semi-conscious internal scripts instead of being themselves.

    I'm not master of this myself and I work hard to maintain an inner directed pattern as opposed to an other directed pattern of thinking and behaviour, I can fall back into the other directed sort easily enough. Neuro-psychologists would suggest its a result development I cant undo, my attachment style etc. which are stamped on my brain by now, all I can hope for is to cope well enough with it and realise others are the same, copeing with their own imprints.

    I benefited from reading Eric Fromm's book Art of Loving, Fear of Freedom, To Have or To Be? on the one hand and Jung's perspective about seeking archetypes of maleness or femaleness in others. Just imagine that you could be drawn to someone not simply because they are who they are but because they represent Woman or Man to you, that's a hell of a big deal, likely to result in expectations no one could match.
    Well, I'd say it's more fun to be other directed. I really don't care what people think of my lifestyle. In my opinion it doesn't make sense to be nice to everyone. That way you miss recognizing who your real friends are. Eventually if it's all just a game, why not play it? Actually I don't really have a problem, it's more that either my schoolmates are brutally dishonest or I don't feel like talking to them because I realize myself they are not tuned-in but still can't stop it overnight. And they are all that anxious that they stop talking to me just because I said 1(!) thing they didn't like.

  7. #17
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    Hommefatale, you're fucked up. And the crazy award goes to: hommefatale .

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