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    Default The Meaning Of Your Communication is The Response You Get

    One of the rules from NLP.

    The Meaning Of Your Communication Is...
    ... what the other person understands.

    ... and the response you get.
    In other words, it doesn't matter what you intended to say. The meaning of what you said is what the other person takes it to mean - how they interpret it.

    And that will impact the response you get.

    This means you have to pay attention to the response of the other person, to check they "got" what you were trying to say.

    I think it is a really useful way to think. Although I must admit I'm pretty crap at it. Do you agree this is the best way to maintain control in your communication? Do you think in another way?

  2. #2
    & Badger, Ratty and Toad Mole's Avatar
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    There is a slightly more radical way to interpret it.

    And that is to abolish the author and the reader, so all that is left is the conversation.

    Of course this is entirely counter-intuitive to anyone trained to read and write, as literacy presupposes an author and a reader.

    And while universal literacy in parts of the world is barely 100 years old, our spoken cultures are 200,000 years old.

    So we had no writers or readers for 200,000 years.

    And as we move into the Electronic Age, literacy will become redundant. And so the author and the reader will become redundant.

    So once again, with only a break of 100 years, we will gather around the electronic campfire and listen to the sound of our voices.

    Why, in one of our very own threads, in the Fluff Zone, called, "Post Your Own Voice", we are hearing the first sounds of our own voice.

    The sound will swell and swell and swell, drowning out everything but our conversation.

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    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    One of the rules from NLP.




    I think it is a really useful way to think. Although I must admit I'm pretty crap at it. Do you agree this is the best way to maintain control in your communication? Do you think in another way?
    Oh my. That's actually how I've learned to think a lot of the time.

    It's actually very Ni, according to this.

    It really bothers people when they go back over my past posts and see inconsistencies between what I said then and now, though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Oh my. That's actually how I've learned to think a lot of the time.

    It's actually very Ni, according to this.

    It really bothers people when they go back over my past posts and see inconsistencies between what I said then and now, though.

    Interesting that, does sound like one of the examples. Though as long as were aware of the response the other person was giving you, and you are willing to adapt to the feedback you'd think anyone could do it.

    I read a lot on NLP years ago. That stuck in my mind. It's a pretty useful technique but difficult to do. The problem is getting caught up in your own view of the situation. Your thinking becomes rigid and you lose sight of your objective.

    It's interesting how important it is to know your objective in any situation. For some reason the concept of objectives has been on my mind the last couple of days...

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    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Interesting that, does sound like one of the examples. Though as long as were aware of the response the other person was giving you, and you are willing to adapt to the feedback you'd think anyone could do it.
    Anyone can. It's just that most people don't want to, or think it's a "dishonest" approach because it's not as purely focused on fact. That's why "evil" characters are often NJs... because everyone can do that, but they want to discourage and denigrate it because they're uncomfortable with it.
    I read a lot on NLP years ago. That stuck in my mind. It's a pretty useful technique but difficult to do. The problem is getting caught up in your own view of the situation. Your thinking becomes rigid and you lose sight of your objective.

    It's interesting how important it is to know your objective in any situation. For some reason the concept of objectives has been on my mind the last couple of days...
    Yep, that's more Ni. Knowing your objective is what helps NJs focus and organize situations. When I become confused about my objective, I'm as disorganized and directionless as a P... which is actually painful.

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I think it is a really useful way to think. Although I must admit I'm pretty crap at it. Do you agree this is the best way to maintain control in your communication? Do you think in another way?
    Communication's a two-way street.
    You can only control how your deliver your message.
    You cannot control how it is received.
    No matter how perfectly or accurately your convey your intentions, the other person can respond in any way, from purposefully blowing it because they don't like you to working hard to get it even when they have trouble understanding your point.

    (That's why conflicts built on hostility rather than misunderstanding can never be resolved by more information.)

    The feedback loop is the only real way to make sure you are conveying the meaning you intend to convey.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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    lab rat extraordinaire CrystalViolet's Avatar
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    Hmmm....What Jennifer said.
    Currently submerged under an avalanche of books and paper work. I may come back up for air from time to time.
    Real life awaits and she is a demanding mistress.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Perhaps it means that conversation is recursive. And that the meaning is found in the recursiveness.

    If the intention of the author means nothing, then the intention of the reader means nothing.

    The only thing that matters is the conversation and the meaning of the conversation.

    And neither the author nor the reader can know the meaning of the conversation. The meaning only unfolds moment by moment.

    This is very scary for the literate who expect a beginning, a middle and an end. But literacy has come to an end and we are learning to live in the now, moment by moment. Why, on the best seller list is, "The Power of Now".

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    Communication's a two-way street.
    You can only control how your deliver your message.
    You cannot control how it is received.
    No matter how perfectly or accurately your convey your intentions, the other person can respond in any way, from purposefully blowing it because they don't like you to working hard to get it even when they have trouble understanding your point.

    (That's why conflicts built on hostility rather than misunderstanding can never be resolved by more information.)

    The feedback loop is the only real way to make sure you are conveying the meaning you intend to convey.
    Yeah, I agree. So I guess having clarity on your own objective is key in effective communication.

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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Yeah, I agree. So I guess having clarity on your own objective is key in effective communication.
    I think it really helps to know yourself and what your intentions are, to make sure you're not doing something on your own (and to give feedback to the other person based on THEIR comment, so that you're setting an example of what you want from them plus helping alleviate any uncertainty on their end).

    Sometimes communication feels easy, sometimes it just feels too darn complicated. ugh.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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