How do you make decisions?

[Siúil a Rúin]

In the MBTI system, part of the way type is delineated is by how a person makes decisions using "feeling" or "thinking". This concept is simple enough in theory, but how does it play out in application? There is a great deal of interesting research on how the brain processes decisions which can be added later, but I wanted to at least start with a few basic questions for people to explain their decision making processes. What are the primary considerations you include when making the following decisions?

Choosing a career

Falling in love with someone (edited by request after post 23: Choosing to be in a relationship with someone)

Choosing a pet

Buying a car

Grocery shopping

Buying a pair of shoes

 

[Synapse]

I make decisions poorly and brainfog doesn't help either, I've learned to stop asking for much and deciding what I should need so I avoid decisions that are tough, depends on how switched on my mind is.


Choosing a career - I still haven't. However the process goes will I finish once I chose what I want to start, will I be switched on enough to enjoy the subject area or bored with it. I've been studying several areas such as business, accounting, IT, engineering etc and none give me that goosebump pimple eureka feeling.

Falling in love with someone - Needs attention, the opportunity to fall in love has been rare and the decision process once in a committed relationship becomes easier because then you have a stronger focus, better purpose towards that which you wish to strive for, which has happened and dissolved too. I just need to fall in love.

Choosing a pet - don't have one, although should I consider to have a pet then my decision is based on security and company so would probably have a dog.

Buying a car - business car, that cancels out my decision already huh, I'm not fussy. A car is a car, as long as its roadworthy and is maintained properly I'll buy the car that feels or rather that I think will last the distance and is good value and doesn't break down often.

Grocery shopping - I tend to buy the essentials and not impulse buy, so in that sense I'm a sensible shopper.

Buying a pair of shoes - well my shoes are like 5+ years old, so I should buy new ones.

 

[Athenian200]

Choosing a career

I would choose a career based on how likely I am to get into it (Thinking), how difficult it is (Thinking), and whether it's something I can personally stand to do on a regular basis (Feeling).

Falling in love with someone

I don't consider that a decision so much as a reaction. I've never experienced it, so I have no clue.

Choosing a pet

I refuse to ever get another pet, because I miss my cat too much, and I never want to go through that again (Feeling).

Buying a car

I would choose it primarily based on cost to purchase/maintain and fuel efficiency (Thinking), and secondarily on appearance and style (Feeling).

Grocery shopping

I would get the all the food I like (Feeling), unless I had budget issues that forced me to buy only the cheapest food (Thinking).

Buying a pair of shoes

I would almost certainly get the ones I thought looked the nicest and fit my personality (Feeling).

 

[Orangey]

Type: INTP
Enneagram: 5w4

Choosing a career
Am I good at doing this sort of thing? How hard is it to get into? Do I like the field/subject matter? Does it at least offer the prospect of financial security? Does it provide opportunity for travel?

Falling in love with someone
It's probably arguable whether we choose to "fall in love," right? That aside, I've never been in love, so I'll have to pass on this one.

Choosing a pet
Do I have time to properly take care of the animal? Do I have enough money for upkeep and medical expenses? Do I have enough living space? Will it be safe in my dwelling? In the case that I have to travel, will it be easy to transport? Do I like it/think it's cute?

Buying a car
Around how much will it cost? Does the brand have a reputation for making sturdy cars that will last a while (i.e., will not break down frequently and/or contain parts that mechanically fail)? Is the gas mileage good? How many miles are on this car already? What accessories come with it? Can it drive safely in the snow? Does it aesthetically appeal to me?

Grocery shopping
What do I need to restock? What ingredients do I need? How much can I afford? What do I feel like eating? What is cheapest that tastes good?

Buying a pair of shoes
What is the occasion? Will they match? Can I afford them? Will they last a while? What is cheapest pair that appeals to me aesthetically?

 

[Kasper]

Choosing a career
Oh. People choose them? Kinda fell from one thing to another getting more qualifications along the way in areas that I was interested in and good at.

Falling in love with someone
That’s not really a choice.

Choosing a pet
1st cat: Was brought home by my housemate at the time who wanted me to adopt him, he was simply toooo cute to resist when he was there even though I had told her numerous times I didn't want one. I was a sucker.
2nd cat: He needed company, apparently, so my housemate (who worked with animals) took me to a lady who rescued animals and I picked out a little black one.

If I was choosing a dog I would work out what breed would be best first then go with impulse. The reason I don't have one now is because I know couldn't give one enough attention.

Buying a car
1st car: Went with my dad, test drove a few then when with one that I enjoyed driving and he was happy with.
2nd car: I worked out what I wanted in general specifications than talked to those whose opinion on the matter I trusted to decide on a specific car, than I hired someone who buys cars at auction to get me one.
3rd car: I bought the work car I had been driving instead of getting a new one cause it worked and I couldn't be bothered going through the fuss.

Grocery shopping
Got to be honest, very little planning goes into this. I work out what I want, get as much of it as I can remember than kick myself later when I see all the things I forgot.

Buying a pair of shoes
For fashion/comfort shoes I go with whatever I like that is a fair price. For sports shoes I go with what is right for my feet.

 

[Verfremdungseffekt]

Choosing a career
Career? What's that?

Falling in love with someone
Does one have a decision here?

Choosing a pet
Don't have a pet. Won't.

Buying a car
Don't drive. Never have, never will. Horrible things.

Grocery shopping
I buy what I'm out of. It tends toward the breads and cheeses and carrots. I make extensive lists, then forget to bring them, and buy what I can remember. Usually not that hard, as it tends toward the same dozen things.

Buying a pair of shoes
Something handsome that will last for years and years, and ideally doesn't cost all that much. My secondary pair (primary until a year ago), I've had since... I don't know. 1999? Earlier? My last partner would destroy shoes in a matter of months. I never understood how.

 

[Aerithria]

Choosing a career
I go by whatever seems interesting, and how well I think I could perform in such a field. Depending on how obscure or exclusive the field is, I occasionally think about the likelyhood of being able to support myself, but most of the time I tend to ignore this.

Falling in love with someone
As mostly everyone has said, I don't see how this can be a choice. Then again, I've never experienced it myself, so who knows.

Choosing a pet
Ah, this one is simple. I'm allergic to practically every kind of animal. I did once consider getting a small shark, but I decided against that due to the likelyhood of me neglecting the thing to death.

Buying a car
Not applicable to me at this point.

Grocery shopping
I go mostly by the chances of me eating a certain food, rather than what I should be eating. This tends to eliminate the possibility that I'll buy food that I just don't touch until its expiry date. Still probably not the smartest way to go, though.

Buying a pair of shoes
For everyday wear, I tend to go by what's comfortable, affordable, and that I think looks decent. For something more sportlike, I tend to go by how it'll affect my feet, and then by price.

 

[BerberElla]

Choosing a career

Whether it will make me happy. Right now I'm still torn between become a slave to the system because at least it pays, or following my dream which may not pay off for many more years. I'm still opting for the latter because it's what I love and I know I will feel good if I get there.

Falling in love with someone

Well I don't exactly choose to fall in love, it's a feeling that I go with. If I feel that I love you, then I must indeed love you and sadly I've never looked any deeper than that because that's all I needed.

Choosing a pet

Seriously, my decision making never happens, I walk past a pet in the window, go "awww that's so adorable, OMG I want one".....go in and buy it.

The only thing that stops me right now, is knowledge that I couldn't afford another one, and yet I believe that another kitten in the window would throw away the wise deicision making part of me and fall back into "awwww, OMG I want one" mode.

Buying a car

Does it look good. Haha such a bad reason to choose a car.

Grocery shopping

My grocery shopping is created off of menus that I create to plan out the weeks meals. I make the menu, make the list off of the menu and shop according to what is on that list because I know it's needful for the meals I have planned.

The only other thing I may consider is which brand is on a saving deals over which one isn't.

Buying a pair of shoes

When the shoes are too scruffy to wear anymore, I go out and replace them, same for boots and sandals.

I will choose them based on the wow factor, sometimes breaking my bank and suffering the consequences financially AFTER I own the shoes.

Ie I went out to buy a pair of boots for £50 because that is what my budget could afford, I ended up spending £130 because that made me happier. The boots in question were worth it though, I still don't regret that even if I did have major trouble with my money for the next 2 weeks.

 

[Lethe]

Choosing a career
+ Financial security. Suitability to personality & talents. Academic requirements. Field competition. Monetary concerns (insurance, office, etc.) Average work hours per week.

Falling in love with someone
+ Compatibility in personality, values, interests and life goals. Attraction isn't enough to compensate for major differences, especially if it concerns our lifestyle. I may continue to love them, but I won't initiate a relationship. The romantic notions usually subside into a deep, platonic appreciation. I take my friendships seriously, so it's no loss.

Choosing a pet
+ Looks. Health. Personality. Amount of attention/exercise required. (The less, the better. I'm not good with care-taking.) Shedding and drooling frequency. Space, energy, time, and money to spare.

Buying a car
+ Pure practicality and efficiency in every way.

Grocery shopping
+ Spending limits. Cost. Nutrition. Ease of preparation (Yes, please! My laziness for cooking knows little boundaries.) Size of necessity - avoid excess. Expiration date.

Buying a pair of shoes
+ Trusted brand name. Style. Compatibility with current closet & personality. Quality. Price.

 

[ceecee]

Choosing a career - What makes the most money (although I would work for less if the hours would be better). Do I enjoy it? Is it something challenging?

Falling in love with someone - I think this is a choice to some degree. Not falling in love but loving that person and building a life together and that depend on compatibility, values, personalities..etc

Choosing a pet Health and longevity. Then the more obvious things such as temperament, size, care. For instance, I'd love a Newfoundland. Love one. But they are a mess and a great deal of care.

Buying a car Practicality. Yes I have a big gas sucking SUV but I have 4 kids and their stuff to haul around, tow a boat and bike rack not to mention astronomical grocery shopping.

Grocery shopping Cost of course but in some areas quality is above all else. Buying in bulk and when it's cost effective. I cook a lot of bulk meals so 25 pounds of chicken or 50 pounds of potatoes isn't strange. I won't skimp on produce, meats, spices and dairy.

Buying a pair of shoes Can be completely impractical because my husband has somewhat of a shoe fetish imo. Otherwise coordination with an outfit, comfort, cost.

 

[raz]

It's interesting looking at the list. My first reaction to the list is to take it and separate everything into two categories of priorities: personal and impersonal.

Personal:

Falling in love with someone: I gauge my feelings for them. How do they make me feel? How do they enrich my life? Am I becoming too dependent on them? After that, I look at their age, where they are in life, their viewpoint on their own life. It's interesting how all 3 of the people who viewed this as a choice are TJs.

Choosing a pet - What kind of pet would be the most exciting to have? Which one would fulfill me more? After those two questions are answered, I look at which pets I can realistically take care of in my house.

Impersonal

Choosing a career - This one is kind of easy but kind of complicated. I'd just find something that I could relate to and understand, but will still be needed when I'm able to do it. I'd look at the requirements on the job. What do people do in the job exactly? Can I go talk to people that have that job for firsthand experience?

Buying a car - I would do a lot of research beforehand. I would want to know the things I should be weary of when buying a car in the car itself or the financing. I would look at the car's longevity and maintenance requirements.

Grocery shopping - I plan out my meals over the next week or so. I map out calorie usage, money spent, and look at the things more efficient for calories vs. cost. Then I start taking that list and find things that are personally appealing.

Buying a pair of shoes - What kinds of shoes do I already have? Do I have any shoes similar to the one I want? Is it close enough to warrant not buying it? For example, I chose not to buy a pair of shoes I wanted even though I had the money just because it was a different color of a pair I already had.

 

[Saslou]

Choosing a career - I am currently struggling with this one. I am great with admin, (facts and figures) but i don't want to do it anymore. I am looking at going into a caring role. I have enquired about a nursing degree but am not willing to give it 3 years. I am going to do some voluntary work, take some short courses and start at the bottom of the ladder. I am going to choose personal satisfaction over money this time. I want to come home and smile hoping i have made a little difference in someones life.

Falling in love with someone - *Sigh*. I always go on feelings. We can work out everything else at a later date. If you want to be together then you will find a way to be together.

Choosing a pet - A mixture of the two. I love my cat and i do want her home with me and the kids but ... The practicality of it might mean she doesn't come home. Would i buy another cat??? I just do not know because of the guilt.

Buying a car - I feel i should have a warrior truck as my first car/truck. I think i will not be able to afford the insurance so i am going to have to lower my standards. Does it have 4 wheels and move without making a racket then it will probably do me for the time being anway.

Grocery shopping - I hate food shopping. I don't put a lot of thought into it, i grab a trolley and pick stuff up and hope i am able to make meals out of it.

Buying a pair of shoes - I will never overspend. I have in the past brought shoes that looked nice, tryed one on in the store and brought them home and they have just collected dust in my wardrobe. I think heels look nice so i buy them but because i know they hurt like hell, i will not wear them.

 

[Amargith]

Choosing a career

I tried choosing using my brain and studied something sensible and worked as a secretary. In its own not a ba decision, but clearly not something I can keep up long term. I'm studying now to be able to get to my dream career, which also took me several years to figure out as I have many interests.

Falling in love with someone
I spent a year getting to know my SO, first not liking each other, then bantering about, followed by a deep respect for one another and a deep connection. The fact that he not only accepted but loved me specifically for my flaws sealed the deal for me. I *knew* at that point he was the man I wanted to grow old with.

I always ask myself the questions

* Do I see myself growing old with him
* Does he know, love and accept who I am, and also..can he handle that long term? And vice versa!

Choosing a pet

Pets tend to choose me. I take in strays that have no where else to go. But if consciously chosing a pet, I'll keep in mind character, reaction to me, my lifestyle and my other housemates. The 'click' has to be there as well.

Buying a car

I don't have a car, nor do I plan on having one.

Grocery shopping

I tend to not pay attention to much, except for healthiness. I'll try to buy bio if I can, coz of health reasons, animal cruelty reasons, and ecological footprint reasons.

Buying a pair of shoes

I have to like the way they look on me, they have to have that original touch to them (not be generic), and if I am buying them for a specific reason, comfort, functionality and practicality also comes into play, as well as budget.

 

[garbage]

Choosing a career
I go with what allows me to use my creativity, interact with other people, and, most of all, be extremely flexible. Salary isn't much of an issue, but I need enough to survive and to meet my needs.

So, I just go with whatever helps me to achieve these goals in parallel. I've found it in simulation research, specializing in psychological research and cognitive science.

I started out by pursuing electrical engineering, because there was money in it and it was tangentially related to my interests. I became interested in psychology, so I devised a roundabout way to get there through a masters in systems engineering and then a Ph.D. in computer science with a focus on cognitive science. I didn't pursue a psychology degree outright because, well, psychologists aren't exactly taken seriously around here in this technology-oriented realm.

I had my doubts along the way, but I ended up sticking to my plan. I attained my masters degree and am now pursuing my Ph.D.

I don't plan on taking on any other major financial obligations, such as children, until I work myself into a position where I can easily afford them. To this end, I'm working my way up the food chain chain, albeit somewhat more slowly so that I can maintain my sanity.


Falling in love with someone
In my last relationship, I just sort of "grew" to love her. I really didn't even like her, but I was afraid of pursuing those I did like. It was just.. obvious that she liked me, and I rolled with it.

So, yeah, that was the wrong way to go about things.

As I tend to do, I devised a rough plan to overcome my general anxiety and find a meaningful relationship in one fell swoop. Through dating and getting more involved socially, I'd trained myself to read people pretty well. It seemed that I was able to discern whether someone would be a brief fling, a one-night stand, or a full-on relationship within a few hours of meeting her.. what was key was what I wanted. I had my temptations to the contrary, but I was ultimately determined to find a meaningful relationship.

In parallel, I also wanted to be strong enough to support another person--to be the right person for someone else. I'd read up more on psychology (which also, of course, helped me with my career) and relationships, talked to my married friends about what made their relationships successful. I also got myself back into therapy and tackled my overall anxiety head-on. You name it, I was doing it both for self-improvement and for meeting the needs of someone else in the future.

I eventually got sick of the dating game and put it on hold. Then, I met my current. I'd recalled some things that I'd been telling myself--including that these more extroverted and straightforward women were probably not for me and that I needed to be the one pursue--and went with it. Within moments of meeting her, I had a pretty good indication of the kind of person she was and pretty much immediately fell in love with her.

But I wanted to take things slowly, because I very much cared for her. I also didn't want to repeat "rushing into things" as had happened with my last relationship. We didn't "officially" establish our relationship until a month and a half after we met; in that time, I'd exposed her to a bunch of my interests and personal struggles so that she could get to know me. Likewise, I got to know her to a greater extent.

We met in February. I plan to ask her to marry me in December, once she has graduated and gotten a bit further in her career path and is ready to move forward.

So that's how I fall in love.


Choosing a pet
Dunno. I like cats, because they're not completely dependent and are still loving. My cat is a sweetheart


Buying a car
Practicality. My current car, a new car, came with a huge rebate because it had a previous owner for all of.. 720 miles. I bought it pretty much by accident, though; I was on my way to pick up another car, and my dad suggested to stop by the Hyundai dealership. So I did. And I bought one.

Oh, and I pretty much require a stick shift. Automatics make me die a little inside.


Grocery shopping
I've got a general list that I keep on my phone, sort of, but there are always items that I forget to put on it. I often end up meandering about the store and picking up random stuff that's on the list.

I have no budget, because I don't really spend a lot of money as it is. I've got some systems together to track my finances, so, if there ever comes a time where these systems tell me that I'm buying too much stuff, I just buy less stuff next time.


Buying a pair of shoes
Okay, fine, I go for a little bit of style. I used to "cheap out" on shoes, but I don't any longer. Uncomfortable shoes are a major pain to deal with and are just not worth the savings.

 

[FDG]

- Choosing a career

I look for maximum hourly retribution, and how able I am in the task. If I'm very able, I know I will be able to reach quite a good rank, and thus be able to work less hours given the higher hourly retribution Of course, job security is another factor: the less secure the job and, given the same level of ability, the higher the retribution I will require in order to choose that particular career.
Now you may ask: what about liking your profession? I think this is an assumption embedded in ability; it's impossible for me to become really good at something I dislike.

- Falling in love with someone

That's not really a choice. The only part I really think about is how far I live from the person, and how often we will be able to see each other. If I know that we will not be able to see each other often, then I will try to hold back the feeling.

- Choosing a pet

Ahah, I love cats! I just want lots of cats.

- Buying a car

On one hand, I really like beautiful, expensive and fast cars. On the other hand, I'd hate to spend lots of money on manteniance. So, I try to strike a balance between money that I will have to spend on fuel/manteninace, and beauty/performance.


- Grocery shopping

Mmh. That's something I would really like to be able to plan, but invariably don't truly feel like it. I always look for special offers among the foods I love. I am generally able to find something nice and inexpensive, however I am not that good at denying myself small food-related pleasures.


- Buying a pair of shoes

I only like sport shoes, because they're more comfortable and not too businesslike. If I have a lot of money in my bank account at the moment I need to buy the shoes, then I will just look for those that I like the most. If I don't, then I don't buy shoes. I don't love to spend money for clothing, really.

 

[Lacey]

Choosing a career

I'm still trying to figure this out. I want to do something that makes a difference, that I'm happy doing, that will pay the bills. Yeah.

Falling in love with someone

I haven't been in love, but I've had some pretty intense crushes. They weren't a choice. I wish they were. I knew nothing was going to happen, so I wished I could just flip the switch OFF. It's not like it made me do anything stupid, but it was emotionally exhausting.

Choosing a pet

I like dogs, a lot more than other animals, so I probably wouldn't waste my time getting something else. I would try to get one from the shelter. You know, to do good deeds and stuff. I would also try to get a smaller, lower-maintenance dog, because I'm poor and lazy. And the dog obviously has to be nice and well-behaved. All dogs need some training, but I'm not the dog whisperer or anything.

Buying a car

I don't want a car. But if I had to get one, something that's used, reliable, not insanely expensive, and efficient. I don't really care what it looks like.

Grocery shopping

Oh, this is bad. First, I have a list of what I absolutely need. I get that stuff, but then I also walk out of the store with even more stuff that I just saw and wanted so I got it. I buy a lot of food stuff compulsively.

Buying a pair of shoes

I usually don't buy new shoes unless I absolutely need them. Like, oh, my sneakers have a hole in the bottom, I need new ones. Then I have to find something I like, that is cheap, but not of crappy quality.

 

[Siúil a Rúin]

Choosing a career
Pursuing the area of my greatest intellectual strength was important to me. Making the most unique contribution was an assumed value. Unfortunately, I overlooked the pragmatic aspects of career choice and have a sorry investment to payoff ratio in my choice. The choice was quite internal and involved with my self identity.

Falling in love with someone
I was surprised how many people see this as not being a choice. I agree with the INTJs on this one. One of the few things I am certain of is that I choose whom I love. For 20+ years I've used the simple formula of "whoever loves me best". That statement implies certain kinds of compatibility in the ability of both parties to comprehend who the other person is. If my offer of myself is not reciprocated or doesn't contribute to the other person's life in a constructive way, then regardless of how I feel, I will choose another. If there is someone I respect for their heart and mind who values me and considers my love a significant and helpful addition to their life, then they have my undying affection for as long as they desire it. The small stuff (anything external) doesn't sway me in the least.

I always had powerful crushes that weren't "a choice" initially, but perhaps having had so many has desensitized me to them. Even at age 9 I met a little boy at a church school I visited who paid attention to me, gave me love notes on Ding Dong wrappers, and held my hand when I felt sad. I loved him and only him years after that even though we moved to another state. My college crushes lasted for years as well. That feeling of unrequited love has grown old to me, so it is the one thing I do not associate with being in love.

Choosing a pet
When I'm in the pet store or at the Humane Society, the animal I am drawn towards is based on how cute and spunky they are. It is pretty much an emotional process. Before I go to see the animals I think through the timing, resources, etc. of the pet.

Buying a car
Safety ratings, mileage, and function of the vehicle are important as is buying a slightly used one to get the maximum discount. The van I have was one of two on the lot. Ideally I would have chosen a shade of blue because I think it is prettier, but I went with the completely practical process for the vehicle because I feel no personal association with it. Although now I hang a funny chubby rabbit from my rearview mirror and enjoy driving my Plucky Bunny mobile.

Grocery shopping
Sometimes I let myself go and just buy whatever looks delicious and always combine that with what my partner would like to eat as well, but I also usually consider what is healthy and costs less.

Buying a pair of shoes
I do prefer shoes that look cute, but won't pay alot for them. I don't personally associate strongly with shoes, but do make sure they are comfortable. Shoes that hurt can cause so much trouble and pain. Comfort is the first priority followed by cost, followed by appearance.

Edit: In analyzing my overall process, I would say that my initial step in decision making virtually never involve emotion. Once the decision is made, or the first phases of decisions are made, then I often let the emotional responses become invested. They are part of the final steps.

 

[King sns]

Choosing a career
my stregnths, pay, satisfaction level, job security (nursing)
Falling in love with someone
difficult to help regardless- but, I try to make rational decisions on this. Age, character, practicality of staying together. (Usually involves age, location, their schedule, my schedule).
Choosing a pet
price, feasibility of taking care of them, cuteness level, type of animal

Buying a car
price, make and model, miles, color, gas mileage, monthly payments, price to fix if it breaks.
Grocery shopping
Balance of carbs, fats, and protiens. Balance of fruits, vegetables, meats, breads, and dairy. Some convenience foods. Some delicious snacks. (Use my thoughts for the first half, my feelings for the second) Price vs. quality. (mostly go for a lower price- but sometimes need the higher price for better quality.)

Buying a pair of shoes
Price, looks, level of want, level of need.

(Price is almost always a priority in all of my decisions! Even falling in love- price of gas to go visit- price to go on dates if the person doesn't have much money. Sometimes I will decide not to date someone to begin with if it doesn't make practical sense.)

I'm pretty moderate in the thinking/feeling department

 

[Phantonym]

Choosing a career

While I might think about the practicality of the career and whether it will be profitable for me in the future, the most important aspect in making my decision involving career is definitely my feelings. What I like doing the most, what makes me happy and what brings me most joy even if the things I have to do are tough at times. What I'm capable of doing is also an important aspect in the decision making.
I do this in order not to compromise my own internal feelings. Whatever I'm doing, it has to feel "right".

Falling in love with someone

Feelings are the first and foremost. No doubt about that. I believe that falling in love is something that has little to do with calculation. However, I'm not blind about the person, I don't let my judgement be clouded too much by my feelings. I try not to get too much caught up by my imagination, it's the real person I want to love, not the illusion.

Choosing a pet

Feelings+calculation. This is definitely the point where I also use my thinking cap. I consider the options I feel strogly about but I also think about how the pet fits with my lifestyle, whether they are difficult to take care of, how much time and effort is needed to care for their needs. I'm fully aware that I'm responsible for the pet and I want it to be happy and comfortable and not just because I want a pet to play with once in a full moon.

Buying a car

The first thing I look when considering buying a car is its appearance, I can't lie about that. But I also consider its practicality, what kind of packages and accessories come with it, whether they are included in the price or have to be bought extra. Ultimately, I choose a car that looks good to me, is good to drive, is practical in my climate and that is within a reasonable price range.

Grocery shopping

I make a list, as simple as that. When I enter a store, I already know exactly what I want to buy, where everthing is at. I rarely deviate from my plan but I can also decide quickly on the spot if something doesn't seem quite as good to me. I don't go wandering in the store, looking for that "something extra".

Buying a pair of shoes

First of all, I think if I even need another pair of shoes (I admit, I have pairs I've rarely worn). Overall, I think about their looks combined with their practicality. It's the feeling talking here again. They have to look good to catch my attention. Looks is probably the first thing, then the practicality and then the price.

 

[Athenian200]

Falling in love with someone
I was surprised how many people see this as not being a choice. I agree with the INTJs on this one. One of the few things I am certain of is that I choose whom I love. For 20+ years I've used the simple formula of "whoever loves me best". That statement implies certain kinds of compatibility in the ability of both parties to comprehend who the other person is. If my offer of myself is not reciprocated or doesn't contribute to the other person's life in a constructive way, then regardless of how I feel, I will choose another.

I think you phrased it poorly. You're talking about pursuing a relationship. Falling in love =/= pursuing a relationship. You can technically fall in love with someone, but then choose not to do anything about it. You also can't just decide to love someone you're not already drawn to. Basically, falling in love is a reaction, but pursuing it is a choice. Does that make sense?

You almost talk as if love were an action rather than a feeling...