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  1. #11
    Senior Member FC3S's Avatar
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    In my gaming career, my construction criticism goes like this. They open their mouth, i hold my tongue. They continue to push the issue, I understand they are a n00by nublet. I challenge them, and school them.

    Ah! I can criticize them all I want!

    I find it a very 'constructive' way to spend my evenings.
    ESTP - Definition: "Love" is making a shot to the knees of a target a 120 km away, with an aratech sniper rifle and tri-light scope.
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  2. #12
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Overall, I love it.

    It doesn't necessarily have to be presented in a 'constructive' manner either. If someone was rambling about how unpleasant or incompetent I am, I'd still listen with open ears and ask them to elaborate where needed. I may even thank them afterward depending on the clarity of their perception. I find this feedback monumental to figuring out how my decisions impacts the environment and what I could do to navigate towards the desired effect. I admit I tend to hyperfocus on one aspect at the expense of neglecting other determining factors. Several individuals noted that I absorb any sense of self-satisfaction one could get from criticizing another. This is because I am not unfamiliar to critique in any form; my perfectionism and rigorous upbringing probably have something to do with it.

    But.... there are two things that I'd combat upfront: repetition and psychoanalytical attempts without permission. I detest being told why I think the way I do and the choices I should make, since the other person often lacks the context to grasp the entire picture. Just tell me what standards I fail to meet and I'm good. I can solve the rest. If you must, please offer your ideas in an open-ended format. I might stay instead of dropping you off my contacts list for intruding upon my personal boundaries.

    Unnecessary repetition also irritates (though to a lesser degree than the former) because it's another way of tampering with my decision-making process. Explain what you expect to see and when, and I'll deliver it exactly as we agreed.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  3. #13
    Senior Member ThinkingAboutIt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sentura View Post
    so i'm at a road fork here.

    i'm in one of many situations where i can choose to either criticize something or someone for betterment, or bite my tongue and heighten my frustration as my inner improvement devil screams at me to say something. it is in everyone's favor that the subject or object improves, yet there are either rules blocking this or the people involved would consider it to be behavior without proper restraint.

    in this thread, i am looking for answers for two questions:

    how many people have the same problem. the question here is not aimed at introversion versus extroversion, but rather at rationality regardless of type and behavior towards people.

    ...which brings me to my second question:

    how do you take (constructive) criticism? i would prefer more specific answers, particularly a more in-depth view into why you either don't mind it or get psychically hurt from it. what is it that hurts you? what is it that makes you understand? do you ignore it? is there a way for improvement without going into the minefield that are social norms?
    Constructive criticism is a misnomer - I see it as my way of thinking imposed on someone else. In most cases, there is a big picture and goal and just because someone else chooses a different route to results than I do does not mean they are wrong. If I think they are wrong, I will tell them, and tell them why. If they take the advice, great. If not, great. You can not change people, just choose whether they are a part of your life or not.

    I do not mind someone that I have allowed in my life to tell me what they think about anything, and if we are talking about personal relationship, I would expect it. If someone is going to criticize me on a personal level, it will be best received if 1. they know me well because they have taken the time to understand me, 2. I know they have my best interests and growth at heart, 3. they see the good as well as the bad and mention the good more than the bad. No one else will have opportunity really because I am a private person and do not share much, which means they can not have a qualified opinion.

    In the everyday, opinions are opinions. I hear and take action on what makes sense. We can all be stubborn and hardheaded at some point or another
    Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

  4. #14
    Obsession. Lethe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sentura
    how many people have the same problem. the question here is not aimed at introversion versus extroversion, but rather at rationality regardless of type and behavior towards people.
    As a default, I try to phrase my constructive criticisms in a neutral, impersonal and informative tone. I want to imply that there is something they can do about their situation and making mistakes isn't the end of the world. I'll tell them what went wrong, suggest solutions and ask questions. If I detect defense barriers, I would take the passive role and listen until they have nothing left to say. Asking the right questions is sometimes enough to set things straight. Yet I am much more comfortable as the active problem-solver and will gladly do so with the green light.

    I don't give individual evaluations of their character (Nice? Conceited?) unless they ask. Even then, I'm very hesitant due to how frequently it reveals more of my nature than theirs. Secondly, I fix problems, not moral compasses.
    "I cannot expect even my own art to provide all of the answers -- only to hope it keeps asking the right questions." -- Grace Hartigan

    Enneagram: Tritype - 1w9, 5 (balanced wings), 2w3; Overall Variant: So/Sx
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    Quote Originally Posted by OneWithSoul View Post
    Looking into the eyes of a [Ni user] is like peeking through a portal into a parallel universe.

  5. #15
    Systematic chaos Cenomite's Avatar
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    Constructive criticism is amazing. I work much better with it. I'd say something more specific but that's all I got, pretty simple.

    I guess it's easier for me to take it with regards to a project I'm working on, as opposed to my personality or personal actions.
    The probability that I was procrastinating when I was typing this post:

    P(have big assignment due) = 0.6
    P(posting on TypoC) = 0.2
    P(having big assignment due | posting on TypoC) = 0.7

    P(posting on TypoC | having big assignment due) = .......


    Eh, I'll finish it later.

  6. #16
    Member Nat's Avatar
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    I've always struggled with receiving criticism because I take things very personally. If it is constructive criticism, I will analyse it later and take it onboard as something to improve upon because I know logically that it was said to help improve myself, not to upset me.

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lethe View Post
    I don't give individual evaluations of their character (Nice? Conceited?) unless they ask. Even then, I'm very hesitant due to how frequently it reveals more of my nature than theirs. Secondly, I fix problems, not moral compasses.
    I'm very much the same way. I try to criticize ideas as opposed to the people behind them.

  8. #18
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Personally, I am all about constructive criticism, feedback, and brutal honesty.

    I don't have time to be wrong, I don't want to screw up if someone can educate me in advance of doing so, and if my already good work could have been a little better I want to hear about it.

    Amongst my friends this is a mutually understood communication dynamic, it goes both ways at all times.

    In the business world, unfortunately all of us sometimes have to bite our tongues as some are too fragile and/or egotistical to consider any other vantage point than their own.

    Just my .02.

  9. #19
    darkened dreams labyrinthine's Avatar
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    It helped me be balanced to go through a dozen years of individualized constructive criticism on my most heartfelt artistic creations. I developed a strong sense of professional trust with my mentor who was right even if he did say my flute quartet movement sounded a bit like "flat beer" or if my first mentor literally shivered with a chill of cringes when I played a theme I had written on the low black keys on the piano. Usually the critiques were not so colorful, but always effective in pinpointing my errors and flaws. There were times I left feeling like ground beef, and wondering if I could rise to the occasion, but every moment I knew that they knew more than I did and that the goal was to help me better communicate what I was driven to say. I didn't desire being coddled and I wasn't in it for personal praise. I care about my work and they offered me a shorter path to progress. My gratitude for such individuals is felt at my core.

    It might be worth articulating the difference between constructive and destructive criticism. Destructive criticism tends to make sweeping judgments that dismiss the idea/work in its entirety. It often uses exaggeration. It is often given by less qualified individuals. There is usually a social component where the criticizer has something to gain personally by making the other person look bad. It is often a game. One example of this would be media slandering for the purpose of financial gain, grabbing attention, and distorting reality.

    Constructive criticism tends to be specific and realistic in its evaluation. It often includes at least some positive and negative responses. It provides both a diagnoses and possible means for resolution. It is typically provided by someone with superior knowledge and skill. There is not a personal or social benefit outside the progress of the work. It is the method of problem solving. You can think of this as a doctor diagnosing and treating a patient. That is one clear form of constructive criticism.
    Step into my metaphysical room of mirrors.
    Fear of reality creates myopic morality
    So I guess it means there is trouble until the robins come
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