I have recovered from effects of burnout and depression, and I now feel fine, but I've been slow to get myself started after I left my last job with regular hours. I took a half-year holiday with the money I had saved, and I cleared my head and found what I need to do.
I have been trying to get myself to work on some projects I've started and to start working more steadily, and to convince myself to take one full-time job again, as it is usually the most practical way to get money for most people.
I've lost the habit of working regularly. I've committed to do some work with free working schedule. I feel boredom once in a while, of course, and I've taken the habit of taking a long, relaxing break away from the work, perhaps with a computer game, exercise, music, or something like that. Sometimes the free time has carried me away from work and I've ended the working day prematurely.
I've often thought that I can't let things be like that, if I want to achieve my goals, which I really appreciate. So I've often decided to use less time for breaks, not listen to music, not do anything that is of distraction. I've made plans to live serious life. The results from such attempts have been horrendous. By trying to force myself to work "just because", I have become even less able to work. It's a vicious cycle, and when I notice it, I understand I'm getting nowhere and I have to do something inspiring again to resume my ability to work. I would hope to be able to use my S functions when it is needed, at will, but it doesn't work.
I hate it how everything has to be so inspiring and I have to inspire myself so much to get myself going. Not every job is a source of inspiration. Using less time for work theoretically reduces efficiency, so why couldn't I just do the same job without being inspired? Just good old fashioned hard work?
The best solution that I know at the moment is to live happy, exuberant life while being an underperformer and having to live on a tight budget. I wish I could do better than that.
Is this an NP trait, or what is it? I'm wondering if I should tap into N and do inspired work when I'm in the mood, and perform under my expectations.
Maybe I've misunderstood what kind of functions "hard work" requires. Maybe I have it all wrong. Perhaps it's with MBTI preference on J? that totally stress me out, too.
Actually I couldn't care less what theory is there, or no theory at all, as long as I could just improve my productivity. Is there anything within the type theories that have a say on the matter? Any practical advice? "Just do it" has failed on me.