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Thread: Speaking Style

  1. #1
    Per Ardua Metamorphosis's Avatar
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    Default Speaking Style

    So, at the risk of sounding like an idiot (as much as an INTJ can, anyways, ), I barely noticed a few months ago how dull my speaking style is. Then, I started listening to the speaking styles of everyone I encountered and found that the most entertaining/confident seeming people were the ones that used a lot of pitch and projected their voice well.

    I pretty much got the projecting thing down in like a week, but it's really difficult to make your speaking pattern less monotone conciously. (Which is strange, because it's perfectly fine when I am in E mode with my friends)

    I'm curious how you all speak and if you have thought about this before (particularly INTJs)...

    On a somewhat related note...I think this is also partially the reason why we come off as standoff-ish. I went out to eat last night with some of my friends and we had a waitress that was probably an NT. My friend joked with her a little bit and she replied with a typical INTesque sarcastic comment in that dull tone I'm talking about. I immediately interpreted it as a joke and thought it was funny, but everyone else at the table thought she was just bitchy...wtf? No wonder everyone hates us.
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  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Yes. The other strike against you is that you're male, and males generally use a more monotone pitch when they speak. Females innately opt for a variance in their intonation and they fluctuate pitch more often within a sentence.

    So being a male INTx or other non-emoting type can really flatten out your voice. But it's nothing that you can't fix, if you pay attention as you are and tailor it as you feel comfortable with. In a formal, more public-speaking setting, you can practice and just listen to yourself as if from the outside. If you can record yourself and play back so you can hear what you sounded like, even better.

    INTs tend to mumble too, at least INTPs. I do not know whether it's the "not sure of what I'm saying, so I'm speculating out loud to myself as I talk" thing, but if the entire sentence isn't already at a mumble, then you can sometimes just watch it wind down into one. It's humorous... unless you're trying to understand the person doing it.
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    Senior Member Kyrielle's Avatar
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    I have a pretty monotone voice with people I'm uncomfortable with...or when I'm so tired I really don't have the energy to manage more than a quiet mumble. But, the moment I start feeling relaxed and secure, I lapse into my "normal" mode of speaking...which is a projected, all-over-the-place-in-pitch, enthusiastic sound. Though, I've only once listened to a recording of myself. I sounded like a completely different person, so I made a point to avoid doing that in the future.

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    Senior Member Recluse's Avatar
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    Metamorphosis wrote:
    I pretty much got the projecting thing down in like a week, but it's really difficult to make your speaking pattern less monotone conciously.
    Does this not mean that you're now shouting at people in a dull monotone? I'm picturing your avatar: :yim_rolling_on_the_
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    I didn't say that I didn't say it. I said that I didn't say that I said it. I want to make that very clear.

  5. #5
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    My speaking style is usually kind of fast, according to some people. Some people understand it perfectly, and others are always asking me to repeat myself. I've noticed that I use a lot of hand gestures, and my tone varies quite a bit. I might use a monotone voice if I gave a one-word answer while writing or otherwise distracted, but never in anything resembling a conversation.

    I'll admit that when people speak in monotone, it usually makes me nervous, because I'm not sure whether they like what I'm saying, or whether it made them so angry/irritated they're trying to restrain themselves from harming me. I rely on certain signals/cues to orient myself. As well as I get along with INTx's online, they would probably make me nervous, defensive, and confused in real life. A pity, really.

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    Senior Member htb's Avatar
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    Is it emoting, or expression, in which case the determinant would be extroversion? Keirsey gives one answer, Myers-Briggs another. I'm waiting for the theory market to shake out.

  7. #7
    Senior Member niffer's Avatar
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    Hmm...I've actually never really thought about this before. I mostly speak in a very monotone voice, unless I'm excited. This seems to amuse people though, since most of what I talk about ends up to be something funny and it all gets told this way and with a completely neutral face. And a lot of the time when I'm not speaking, I believe my expression usually becomes very dramatic, taking the reactions of other people looking at me.

    Also, my voice is pretty low for a girl...and my range is very limited. (Singing is not one of my hobbies.) It doesn't go that much lower or higher than my normal talking level. It stays low when I'm relaxed, and goes a lot higher when I'm panicky or talking to adults. And unless I'm excited (or scared) I speak markedly slower, calmer and smoother than most people I know...kind of mellow, almost.

    If I spoke in colour, it would be a dark lavender-blue.
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    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    I speak in a very loud and fast voice that sometimes becomes high pitched. This means yes that I'm hard to ignore, lol.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
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    I can only speak in monotone when I'm purposely trying to goof around (imitating a robot or whatever). There's naturally quite a bit of emotion in my voice, even when I'm not emotional. My voice doesn't get squeaky, either. Does this mean I'm awesome?
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  10. #10

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    I have a low pitch, soft, monotone speech. In person, it can be annoying, but I've been told that on the phone it is rather soothing.

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