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  1. #1
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    Default Introversion and Speaking in Groups

    I was recently asked by an extrovert why introverts are quiet in social gatherings. It was then suggested that this is because we don't want to look stupid. I'm not convinced. Any thoughts?

    Up until now I have just accepted that introverts aren't confident in social situations. But now I stop and think about it I wonder if I've just had that reasoning belted into me by the extroverts in my life. And I can understand why extroverts might think its a confidence thing as I imagine this is the only reason an extrovert might be bothered by public talking.

    Perhaps the situation is just too overstimulating for us introverts and thus makes us feel anxious or drained. I know a lot of the time I simply don't have anything to say however once I have gotten to know a group of friends you might just not be able to shut me up.

  2. #2
    Queen hunter Virtual ghost's Avatar
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    Could it be that topics suck in most cases or converstion is too shallow?

  3. #3
    Senior Member whimsical's Avatar
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    I dont like groups because there are too many unknowns. If I don't know all the people in the group I can feel uncomfortable sharing, but if I do know all the people I can get fairly comfy.

    Mostly though I am a very private person, I prefer one-on-one conversation or smaller groups of no more than 3 people.
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  4. #4
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    I highly doubt this is an issue of introversion, seems more of an issue around shyness to me. I speak in groups all the time... I have no issue with it.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  5. #5
    Seriously Delirious Udog's Avatar
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    Shyness does not equal introversion.

    Shy people may indeed not speak out of fear of looking stupid. However, even confident, introverted people often keep quiet because they know there is more to learn from listening and observing than there is from speaking.

    I also don't find myself compelled to talk just to be heard. I'll keep quiet until I have something funny or meaningful to add. (Usually.)

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cindy View Post
    I was recently asked by an extrovert why introverts are quiet in social gatherings. It was then suggested that this is because we don't want to look stupid.
    Wow.. yeah.

    Those who just can't shut up and listen to the tone and topic of the conversation once in a while are usually the ones who end up looking stupid.

  7. #7
    Senior Member NewEra's Avatar
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    If I'm around people I don't know, I'm no doubt going to be quiet, at least at the beginning, mainly out of shyness and to see how the new people behave. I act quite different around people I know well.

  8. #8
    Minister of Propagandhi ajblaise's Avatar
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    If there isn't that much I'm interested in at the social gathering, and I still try to pay attention and comment while not letting my mind wonder, it feels kind of like sensory deprivation. So what ends up happening is I let my mind wonder, then come back, then take off, then I'm like 40% there for bit etc. Lots of 'snapping out of it' occurs.

  9. #9
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ajblaise View Post
    If there isn't that much I'm interested in at the social gathering, and I still try to pay attention and comment while not letting my mind wonder, it feels kind of like sensory deprivation. So what ends up happening is I let my mind wonder, then come back, then take off, then I'm like 40% there for bit etc. Lots of 'snapping out of it' occurs.
    Yeah, what he said. I do this ALL THE TIME.
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  10. #10
    Senior Member Clover's Avatar
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    I am a shy introvert, things usually just fly over my head in those sorts of situations. Especially with family, they're usually chatting about small town politics or who did what at work. If someone is talking about something interesting, which they almost never are, I prefer to listen because I am usually not wise enough to comment. Also, some people just make it very difficult for me to speak up. They prefer to be the center attention and do not like the spotlight off of them for even a brief second. Ah well, I do not really mind, they can have it.

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