It is common for people to feel obligated socially on many levels: they must make nice with the in-laws, have the new pastor over for dinner, hang out with work buddies to avoid being gossiped about, appease a friend who's feelings get hurt easily, remember the anniversary because it means a lot to a partner, etc. I'm sure everyone is familiar with the concept. It also is the basic plot-line for many comedies.
I had an epiphany about myself recently. Feeling beholden to others is something I almost never experience. I understand it is often a survival mechanism, and so it's also not clear why I don't feel it more often. I believe some social contexts require it more than others, so environment can produce the behavior. So far I have little or no inner struggle to tell someone "no". If I'm talking to someone or spending time, I feel in control like it is my choice. People occasionally get irked, but that also doesn't bother me because it seems like that annoyance could be motivated by a desire to have control over the other person. By not allowing others to make me feel obligated, I am better able to sincerely like them. This is why it's easy to say "no". I do it with a sense of personal honesty that I respect and like them and so would not put them through the shame of being a bother.
The thought of someone feeling obligated towards me is markedly unpleasant. I am strongly motivated to keep it from happening. Some people associate love with feeling obligated. My mindset also makes it difficult to ask or pressure someone to respond, spend time, or give me something I need if that is not their natural response. When I am close to someone who socializes by often feeling beholden to people, my knee jerk reaction is to be more concerned they will be responding to me out of obligation. It can create a negative loop that can result in them feeling obligated to reassure me in some way. I haven't figured out yet how to straighten this out. In such scenarios it isn't my intent to seek reassurance or explanation, but once someone starts feeling obligated to me, I do feel hurt by that so in a way it does pressure a reaction even though that is the last thing I want to have happen. I appreciate the concern, but then my focus is a need to be able to feel hurt without someone feeling responsible to fix it. Social assumptions run deep in people, and so I haven't figured out how to address this one.